he will come back an marry me?!!
By chum24
@chum24 (569)
Philippines
March 17, 2013 6:19am CST
hi my lotters!!!
i just posted a discussion a days ago entitled "he choose another girl"(if you read my discussion you will know it).
yesterday he called me and we talk he told me that he will come back to me and he will marry me because he want me to be his wife but why he need another girl? why he need space? he said that he is not seriously with that girl. I was speechless that time. i just cried and confuse
give me advice...
give me advice...4 people like this
31 responses
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
17 Mar 13
Accept him.. I am sure you will without hesitation.. but always leave something for yourself ok.. don't give everything to him again. Respect yourself and love yourself more. Yourself is more important than him.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
17 Mar 13
Hi there Chum 24. I remember your other discussion about him having another girl. It seems be is rebounding to you and wishes to marry you. I think he just needed some space like we all sometimes. Perhaps the other girl was just a friend that listened to him talk. Since he wants to marry you it now all makes sense. You feel emotional and confused. He needs more than flowers to make thing up with you. Good luck.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
17 Mar 13
Hi maximax, in the other discussion she said and shared with all of us that his boyfriend had chosen another woman and told her that he is choosing her.
So probably now that he did dump her before, and the other girl did not accept him, he is returning to her... i think that is not appropriate and that does not make sense...
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
18 Mar 13
I say if he loved you Chum he would have never been with someone else. When you love someone want to be with them and marry them you already know they are the one for you and don't have to go to other women to find this out. Not only that he was with this girl for how long i mean do you know if it was serious or if he slept with the girl in the time he was with her? I mean why did he call this girl his girlfriend if it wasn't serious huh? There are a lot of unanswered questions you need to find the answers to. Also he left the girl to be back with you and you don't know why but don't say oh well at least he's with me because it doesn't always mean for good. See you don't know if the girl broke up with him and hes just wanting to marry you to have someone to be with when she didn't want him anymore. That thought would always be in my mind did he just marry me to be with someone til he could be with someone else or just not to be lonely when the last girl broke up with him. See when you love someone no else else will do and you don't need to be with others to know if the one u want is right for you or not. You need to ask him some questions and find out the truth before you decide to marry him because what if after you get married and he needs space is he going to go to another woman again. If space is what he needed then he goes out for a few days with his buddies not to another girl. If space is what he needed then he stay home and writes a list of why he should marry you and why he shouldn't and see what is best not be with someone else. Also he broke up with you for someone else he didn't want you anymore now hes back and wants you i would always wonder why. Could you trust him not to ever cheat again or break up with you when he needs space when you are married. You 2 need to sit and have a very very long talk about this and find out the truth of why he left for that girl and why he's back now and tell him how you feel about what he did and that when and or if you marry him there will be no other women in his life when he needs space. If he loved you he wouldn't have had to see if you are the one for him and if he needed space he wouldn't have been with another woman
2 people like this
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
26 Mar 13
I think most probably you should think for sometime and really determine if he is worth it and does he really loves you. I think there are lots of fishes in the ponds and there are lots of good guys you can chose since he had a passing relationship with other girl. I think if he really loves you only you should go for him.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
26 Mar 13
Your emotions might still be raw here.
If this were me, I would have a hard time not accepting him back. It is because of that, that would suggest that you take this extremely s l o w with him. In time you will see if this is right for you or not.
He certainly has a lot of explaining to do without using excuses that he loves you and missed you. He was after all with another woman.
You have to decide what you want for you. Just take it slow or even give yourself space away from him.
You are still hurt by him leaving and you wouldn't want your vulnerability make your choices for you.
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
25 Mar 13
Yes i have read and responded to it, i think he is playing with your emotions, you should be careful.
@extremefun4fun (2908)
• India
26 Mar 13
try to not be emotional for marry. give time and think well. you have chance of checking his honesty. check him as well before marriage.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
18 Mar 13
I would give him a bit more space and time. He's clearly confused. He might only be coming back to you because the other girl rejected him.
Something important to think about: do you actually still want him? It's not just his decision, it's also yours. If you do want to be with him, then you can make a plan based on taking him back. If you don't want to be with him, then that's easy, because he's already left, you just have to tell him not to return.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
22 Mar 13
Run away as fast as you can. This guy does not love you. Run fast and run far and have nothing to do with him.
Your love should be loyal and treat you with much respect. He should be your loving friend. Is this the way he is...no he cheats and lies.
If you take him back you will prove to him beyond a doubt how weak you are and you will be the one responsible for making your life miserable. Your self esteem will be torn to shreds.
@youless (112481)
• Guangzhou, China
19 Mar 13
I don't know what to say. I don't even know whether it is a good or bad news. Since he said to break up with you because he wanted another girl. At that time you were sad to hear that and your heart was broken. But now the situation changed totally and I don't know whether you shall accept to him again. It is up to you. It depends on whether you can forget and forgive his this hurt to you.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
19 Mar 13
It takes two to clap; surely your last effort in trying to salvage the relationship was a painful and hardworking feat to protect what’s left of the relationship, but he chose to dump you and went with the girl over there.
Let's be mindful, that he is still wherever he is working and that the both of you are staying apart where coming together is basing on a phone call. So it is relatively obvious that the both of you will be continuing on a long distance basis but I wonder what's going to stop him from calling you again to say that he wants to break up with you for another girl or worse, back to this girl he said thing aren't working out.
I don't know if you are seeing a glimpse of hope or miracle in him but I personally would write him off like a bad irrecoverable debt, for the way he treated the relationship and most of all you. I don't see even the slightest hesitation of cherish or consideration when he ditched you for the other girl.
My dear girl, I hope you remember this, that no amount of persuasion, influence or coercion could resurrect a man who has never loved you because you cannot lose something that never exist nor fix something that has never been there.
Our disappointment and sadness would naturally fall through tears upon this realization. I truly feel you, so do what your head tells you this time and not be swayed by your heart.
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
19 Mar 13
Chum
you must be feeling very confused. You need some time for yourself. You have to find in your heart and in your mind what you really feel for him. And you best of all really know him. Is he honest? Is he lier? Do you want him in your life forever? Do you want to spend your whole life with him?
May God enlighten you. Blessings Chum... dainy
you must be feeling very confused. You need some time for yourself. You have to find in your heart and in your mind what you really feel for him. And you best of all really know him. Is he honest? Is he lier? Do you want him in your life forever? Do you want to spend your whole life with him?
May God enlighten you. Blessings Chum... dainy @andy77e (5156)
• United States
22 Mar 13
I would want to know more. I would even call this other girl, and ask her what happened.
If he was sleeping with her, and got bored with her, he'll do the same thing to you.
If he just needed space... and realized that you are the girl he wants, that's good. Go forward and be careful.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
Maybe it is not only you who is confused but him as well. Give a little more time to know how you truly feel for each other. And make sure that he is really ready to commit himself to you. I find it odd that he has to give up on you for another girl then comes back to you as soon as he found out that he really didn't love the girl he was with. Give him more time to think real hard.
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
18 Mar 13
Wow, that is fast. I think he needs space and normally most people
have this kind of dilemma when they need to make a huge commitment.
They need to run somewhere, talk to some other people and then
realized. With the 'incubation' period, he can think better now.
I am happy that he now knew that you are very important to him.
All the best to you and you know best whether he is the right one
for you.
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
18 Mar 13
I think you should have a long talk with him,and unless he can give you a very reasonable reason,otherwise I think you should not believe him so early,because he cheat on you this time he will cheat on you at any time.
But there is one question?How much do you love him?
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
17 Mar 13
If I were you, I will not take him back and I will not accept his marriage proposal. If he thinks I am good only for seconds or that he would need to be rejected first before he comes to me so he wouldn't lose face, well he's got another thing coming. I know I deserve better than that, I deserve to be with someone who will put me first in his life other than any other girl. How do you think he would feel if he's just a second choice? That only means that if ever the thing with the other girl worked out, he will never come back to me. And the only reason that he is coming back is because it didn't work out. That is such a very lousy reason to marry someone.
@neelia27 (896)
• Philippines
18 Mar 13
if you are confuse right now then i suggest that you need time to think things over.. i know there are lots of questions going on inside your head and even your boyfriend cant answer it and for that matter only time can heal it.. balance the love for your boyfriend and for the love of your self.. always remember that before you love a person you must love your self first.. you don't need anyone to make you happy.. it is a choice..
@srisahara (4508)
• Indonesia
18 Mar 13
Hi chum...I know it is so hard for you to make the best decision. I think one thing to consider is "is he serious to marry you?" How about your relationship in long distance? If you still do long distance love, it is hard to keep your love except your boyfriend remove near with you.
If it happens to me, I cannot forgive him easily, because he has hurt you, but everything is up to you...
