Would you call cps
By C
@ShyBear88 (59347)
Sterling, Virginia
March 18, 2013 3:00pm CST
Would you call cps on family?
Now here is the story and you have to read it all to understand. My nephew is 5 and is autistic so he can be hard to handle at times. My sister in law has some issues. Here is what I know all of which she told me I never asked her to tell me she just does. That she has ADD, Depresstion, has been abused in the past by a college friend, is a hoarder, loves to buy things even when she can't afford things and never finishes what she starts. Now all of this has happened before my nephew S was born since then she has gotten worse either because she says my nephew keeps her busy bu he has 3 hours away from when he is at school. She always want to sleeps. Now hem she talk o my nephew it's not in nice way. H think like a 2 year ol not a 5 year old o you cm talk to him lik normal. She nags at him and he won't listen to her or my brother. She doesn't clean ever, nor dose she bath or give my nephew a bath. My mom has to give him a bath since my brother and his wife will not. She hasn't bathed in over 3 months and hasn't brushed her hair either. She had to cut a huge not out of her hair because of a knot that was in it. They both don't know how to parent an doesn't seem to want to learn how to better there sons lif.
My husband is thinking about calling cps and hoping they will kick my sister in law out of my parents house and get cousty some how but grandparents haven't rights to grand kids. Now we have all talked about it but haven't called because of my parents being around to take care of my nephew S. I could tell you more things that have gone on in my parents house. I don't live with them any ore and haven't for almost 3 years. My sister in law won't take my nephew S to the doctor because his dr told her if she didn't do this or that he would call cps on them and he hasn't been to the doctor in 3 years my mom just took him 2 weeks ago
3 people like this
7 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
19 Mar 13
It is frightening! On one hand S needs better care but if you do call cps, they take him out of the house , not sister in law.There is has to be a way your parents can get custody ?
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
20 Mar 13
The only way for grandparents to have cousdy of a child is if the parents are no longer a live or the parents sign over there prenatal rights.the chance of that happening is zero.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
20 Mar 13
That is not true. I know a few grandparents that got custody of a child that was to be taken by the state and I also know an Aunt of a child that got custody when the state took the child from her mother. If the state takes the child from the parent and places him in foster care, yes, the parents do have a chance to get the child back. The grandparents, other relatives can petition for custody of the child. Depending on the reason that the child was taken, it may be temporary custody that is issued with the hopes that the parents will get their act together. In time, they can apply for legal guardianship.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 13
It sounds like they are really bad parents! They don't have a clue how to be a good parent.
The only thing that tells me to tell you not to call is if your parents are there to care for him then he should be okay and cared for. They do live there right?
I have had thoughts about calling on my cousin because she is such a bad mother. There are two things that stop me...She lives with my parents so I know they will take care of him and I don't know if he will go to a worse situation than what he is in now...
It is a hard thing knowing someone is a really bad parent. It's hard to know what the right thing to do is. If your going to call just make sure you know for a fact that he is in bad hands. We got called on based off lies. It not only hurt us but it hurt our kids a lot too...I would just be really sure before you call.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
19 Mar 13
Yes my parents live in the same house. My parents are the owner of the house and my mom and I are both at the house lost all of the time. I'm normally here when she is not o make sure he eats and stuff.
It's hard I want to call so many times but my parents are here for him and we are all scared that cps will take him and he has special needs anda big change like being taken away from family will cause a huge meltdown. Which is what stops me because I think of him first. Yes is mother is a very bad mommy but me and my mom take care of that andi tell my parents to just kick her out but then they are scared she will take him and punish him for them kicking her out. She once keep him in th basement for a week because my parents told her to clean the basement which s were they sleep my brother and his wife and my nephew.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Mar 13
There is no doubt that they are bad parents but your right we have to think of the child first, which is why I have not called on my cousin already... I don't want to hurt him because of her wrong doings, that's not fair. It is a really hard position to be in.
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
19 Mar 13
Sometimes in conditions like these u have to show her tough love. It would like she's using y'all in a bad way. She knows u won't do anything to make her do something u won't like. I don't know how ADD affects ppl but she has to learn that certain things can't be tolerated. If u put her out what else would she do? Will she call the cops? If she does then maybe u can tell them about how unfit of a mother she is. But baby S is well taken care of but u and ur mother. Ur pretty awesome, bu the way! He's not even ur kid but ull die for him.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
20 Mar 13
That poor little kid!! Yes, I would definitly make a call. It sounds as if your parents have bent over backwards in an attempt to help them and still they show no interest in being good parents. Not bathing for 3 months is unhealthy and freakin gross. That poor kid does not stand a chance in such a situation. I understand that you are concerned about what calling would do to the grandparents but I looked and you are in the US. In the US grandparents do in fact have rights. Even if the state were to place that child in foster care, the grandparents would be able to get visitation and spend time with him.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
21 Mar 13
One we don't want to dramatically change his world. Doing things like this to an Austic child will send the, to there breaking points. He doesn't do well to any big changes. My parents wouldn't get home because of the fact that they as in my brother and his wife live with them. Yes in some case the grandparents do get cousdy of a child but it doesn't always work that way. My parents are at there breaking point but they are thinking of my nephew and what is best for him calling cps on an average child they can better deal with changes they will still be affect but trying to explain that to special needs child is very hard.
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
24 Mar 13
I would do anything (no matter if it is family) to stop someone from hurting another. And if the person hurt is a child it is worse. It is a pity that in your country grandparents cannot have any right to grandchildren if they prove they can do it. I`m sure that this is a lot better than foster homes.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
25 Mar 13
In the US it depends not all grandparents can't have cousdy. A lot of families live together like my brother and his wife live with my parents and you have to think hard when there is a kid with special needs they are not like other children where you can change things and they will understand. To an Austic child that is a complete melt down for him waiting to happen if cps got involved and the yes he would be in Foster care which isn't good for kids with special needs because people don't know what to do and they get hurt more then helped in the foster care. I would take him but I have two of my own and I don't have the space and I don't think my husbands grandparents would be okay with him living with us.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
20 Mar 13
It definitely does sound like your brother and your sister-in-law have a lot of shortcomings as parents. However, I don't think that you should call CPS on them because of the fact that your nephew is being taken care of, even if it is by your mother and not his parents since they all live together.
When CPS does take a child away from his/her parents they will place them with other family members, such as grandparents, etc. However, in this case the CPS case would be against not only your brother and sister-in-law, but all of the adults in the house and that would include your parents as well.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
21 Mar 13
We as in me and my husband are the only close living family that does not live in my parents home. I go there a lot to help out and let the kids play together. My nephew he loves my kids as if they where siblings.
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
19 Mar 13
Wow that sounds a little bit like my mother when we were younger but I'm nothing like her.
It sounds to me like she needs help. Some will say u need to butt out and not intervene but pay no mind to them. I know u want to help and I'm going to tell u that if u DON'T help him that little boy will grow up mentally disturbed. More so than he is now. I don't mean that in a bad way or anything. The whole family needs help but the little one most.
I am like the mom a little. But no matter what I always try to finish tasks and house things. That's about all I don't do! I have to set up an alarm on my phone to remind me to bathe or brush my teeth lol! I'm getting better tho.
Anyways you do whatever ur gut tells u. You'll be glad u did.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
20 Mar 13
Me and my mom are always around doing more of the parenting then she does. I take care of both of my nephews and take care of them like my own.i re,mid my sister in law about baths, feeding him, giving him baths but she rather play with my 6 months till he starts crying and she get bored. I try to go with my gut and like you I set reminders for certain things but my daughter is my alarm clock she knows what nights are bath nights and stuff and she to eat. My son will be right be hinder, I tell my husband if you feel cps is Ned then call them because I, between a rock and a hard place part of me wants to and the other part of me doest so I don't know what to do. He is my better half so he'll know when enough is a enough.
@janechenrose (135)
• China
19 Mar 13
It dose not matter of autistic, we know Phelps is ADHD and he is 8gold medal in one olympic games, he is miracle, I think your nephew will successful too.
when he forget to wash and bath ,maybe he is good habbit,in additional China culture ,some great person devotion to public hard things always forget to wash and bath ,some not return home when passed, it is good spirit.
I think depression is not sick ,just something normal.
Wish your family joyful.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
20 Mar 13
He's 5 with a mind of a 2 year old he isn't normall and he doesn't remember all of the time because he is a child and children should be taken baths and its the parents job to take them to the child themselves especially one with special needs. And depression is an illness because if you don't treat it can cause mental snaps to the point people will kill or hurt someone especially when children are involved.
