Mother-in-Law

Ah...I aint married...but I will still give my cents worth..as if it matters..lol I think we misjudge mothers in law. When the girl gets married, she is usually young and inexperienced, and does not really know everything about the world. The mother in law on the other hand knows! Mothers do overlook many things, that mothers in law might not be inclined to - at least in the initial stages of marriage when relationships are yet to be cemented. A problem with mother in law is ...she is usually around her menopausal stages. So she is likely to be in foul mood around the period her son gets married. Daughters in law do not understand the havoc hormonal imbalance can cause to blood pressure and temper. So they get a bad impression about the lady, even though she may not be that bad after all. Once this happens, she starts leaning more towards her daughter as is natural for any of us in any stage of life. This creats a further rift and the situation can become irreparable. I dont say all mothers in law are good. But it is necessary for the parents to determine whether the lady is indeed a nice person from their friends, enemies, neighbors, etc. Cultural shocks can usually be one of the causes for disharmony. If the daughter in law is too modern, or is used to having many servants, then it will be difficult to adjust especially in the initial stages. Once there are differences, it may be hard to forget those. Another reason for rifts between mothers in law and daughters in law is the gnawing feeling of being left aside. As the father in law nears retiring age, the circle of friends come down. Thereafter it is the friends of sons and daughters in law. Mothers in law start feeling out of place, and they start feeling lonely in some way. After all, there was a time they were indispensable in the lives of their sons. Now, they feel dispensable, and the feeling is not that good. This makes them feel a distance, and they believe it is the daughter in law who is doing it. Generation gap so to speak. They feel out of place in the younger couple's group, and the old group no longer exists. This makes them feel lonely and unwanted and neglected I think. They are more likely to feign illnesses, and problems just to get some company. If only we can understand them as humans.

My mother-in-law was the best. She was not only my mother-in-law but also my friend. She and I did a lot together and shared so many things. After Randy and I got engaged she shared all the cute stories about Randy when he was a little boy (you know the stories that embarrass them, but only a mother thinks that are cute). She taught me how to cook and how to do whatever I want to do and never allow anyone to ever tell me what to do. She believed in my schooling and could not wait to see what I had gotten on my last test.

hi all knowing my mother in law was so sweet but then look at how er son turned out as he was a good fun loving gentle man whom I loved dearly.I really liked her and she liked me tool We lived in two different states, she in Washington state and us in California. But I woud not have moinded if she had been next door as she waq really very kind and so sweet.

I have a good mother in law. she is nice NOW. BUT when I first met my husband , I did not feel welcome, not good enough feeling..but then I started to be kind worded and asked why this and that why they talked about me what was the reason? and it seemed to stop when I started to say what I feeled.. I know some gossip but I try to overlook that.. and seen the inlaws was like outlaws..guess we all have some here and there.. but she is older and she had got kinder and we I just try not to talk about subjects or people when she starts the talk about others.. I just answer is that so..or I do not know and then the subject changes.. I state as that sure is pretty and stuff like that...hard to sometimes but yet I do..especcially when I do not want to talk about the subject she brings up...

I am lucky that my mother in law helps us in a lot of ways. However, there are times that she could be a handful. Since we live just a block away from them, she would come and check on the house. What I hate about it is that she would be re-arranging things and assumes that it is what it should supposed to be. I mean, yes, we are living in a house that they own, but does she really need to be in charge in everything? Sometimes I feel the hatred coz of the way she has raised her kids. She could be a one great liar, too. If she is cornered by a person for something she has done, she would deny it right away. And she also has the habit of being kind to you when you are with her and say nasty things behind your back.

Thats the reason why I'm going to prepare myself before i marry and save enough money to live apart from my husbands family. They might even like me more that way since i strive to be a better person to be worthy of their son. And besides, its easier to like people when you don't see them everyday and you don't see the mistakes they make and that they're human too. My grandmothers on both sides are mean to my parents. Both of them dont like their child's spouses. It isn't very fun when we go on vacation with them, i think the "not liking" increased because we lived with each of their parents fr a couple of years. It wasnt rosy

Hi allknowing, I had been living together with my mother in law since the day I had married. We got along harmonious together for nineteen years. She had left us forever years ago. She was kind and amiable, and I respected her. I had learned from her lots of delicious dishes and desserts. I's the first one to please her with birthday cake. And she would receive birthday cake of different designs yearly. I would be in great pleasure as well to see her enjoying cutting and eating the cake. There would be some miner misunderstandings within us sometimes. Each time it's resolved in peacefully situation Happy posting

My mother-in-law is known to be a very 'tough' lady and has had a universal bad name.But she is not as bad as she seems ; unfortunately she has no control over her tongue and she makes 'politically incorrect noises' ; but now , with age advancing she has mellowed down a lot.As far as my relationship goes, I was terribly scared of her when I was young, ;We used to stay together and I was terribly afraid of her because I could never please her. Now, I am no longer 'terribly ' afraid but I am pretty careful ,guarded and respectful with her. Time makes us realize another individual's positive qualities and accept people for what they are. No one talks about son-in-law versus mother-in-law ,because the chances of interaction are less compared to that between two women. This is one likely cause.

Not much for me to add..here, as my dearly departed Mother-in-Law, was a rare angel...superlative butterfly! No-one in this world, could have asked for a more genuine, lovely spirited lady! I only wished that my life would have been blessed longer with her in my realm!

Woman Hitler definitely describes my MIL! She used to be an interfering busy-body who liked nothing better than to undermine both me and my hubby (she knew best) and I'm pleased to say it's coming up to nearly a year since we fell out and she's refusing to set foot in this house. Suits me!

Regarding my relationship with my mother in law,well,how to express that? I think we are just fine. Honestly,i do not like my parents in law much,they are from countryside and very traditional,old-fashioned and superstitious,i rarely talk to them,because we always have different point of view on things.now we live together,we are in upstairs while they are in downstairs. thanks god,we cook spearated,which makes me feel better.my mother in law has a really bad relatioship with her mother in law (my husband's grandmother),though,they treat me as an enemy,it looks like i will rob their son from them.I donot understand. but since they are my husband's parents,i still respect them even i dislike them. I havenot have kids yet,but i think one day,if i have a boy, i will working hard on my relationship with my DIL,i'm sure i will treat her just as my own daughter .

I never heard about that anagram for a mother in law and I must say I do find it very insulting! A mother in law is not worser as a father in law. Personally I am not looking for any qualities in a mother in law. I am a person, an adult and so is my mother in law, who also is the mother of my husband. There is no need for her to be my servant, baby sitter or whatever. BTW I don't think any of the bf's of my (already) adult daughters would or will ever say I am a terrible mother in law. I also do not interfere in my daughters relationships. To me it's most important they are happy and I don't care in what way or with whom.

I have no issues with my mother in law and ahe like me right back in the same way.

Hi friend, me and my MIL is having a good relationship, she consider me as her own son and i consider her as my mum. In the same way my wife and my mother have a good relationship. Even though we are living separately from our parents, we will go to our parents place twice or thrice in a week and have a lot of fun and enjoyment with our parents and kids.

When I got married,my mother was a little worried about the relationship between my wife and her.There had been some stories in our community showing it was a little difficult for a mother-in-law and a son-in-law or a daughter-in-law.So my mother always follows what my wife wants.She is tries not to make my wife unhappy.Sometimes, when my wife is not happy,my mother will ask me what has happened,or if she has done something wrong.I always tell her that as long as they can respect each other,there's no need to worry so much about it. The same situation happens in my wife.She also tries her best to make my mother happy,and tries to do as much housework as possible.But she is a little busy with her work. I think the relationship between them in my family is just normally OK.They both try to respect each other,but till now the relationship is not natural yet.It still needs some time for the two to become naturally close to each other.

I love my mother-in-law like a second mom. She does not get involved in our business and she is really very nice to me. We get along quite well and I have never had a problem with her or my father-in-law. In fact they stick up for me before their own son. Which I find hysterical. Then again they know how he is and what I'm dealing with on a daily basis.

That's the reason they are called Mother in laws. They always like to show their power or like to command over their daughter in law, but it is we who has to understand them and make the things work fine rather than make it worst.

I am still unmarried, but from what I have seen around me, I feel that the relationship between MIL and DIL is never velvety. It takes a couple of years and a lot of patience for a DIL to develop a feeling of likeness for her, in her MIL's heart. There are cases where MILs are very sweet and caring, but then the DILs are extremely rude and misbehave with them. I feel that DILs should respect their MIL and FIL no matter how they are because after all they are our elders. As we respect our parents likewise we should respect them also. The same goes for in-laws, they should also treat their DILs with love and affection and should care for them. Whenever the time will come, I will surely practice my words.

i guess this will forever be a delicate issue because most MIL believe no lady is good enough for their son.she will keep judging everything you do and you will most of the time fall below the average mark.i think what is best is to just believe in yourself and pray your husband also loves you enough to also not entertain negative remarks about you.its good if you realise your mother in law does not like you just keep off her way and when you must be as nice to her as possible.

For me i prepare to have a good mother in law in which she can understand me, love me and take good care as how she treat her own daughter and son..