My son clearly takes advantage of me!
By ctryhnny
@ctryhnny (3460)
United States
March 20, 2013 1:13pm CST
I haven't heard from my son or d/i/l in weeks. Not even on fb...they are soooo busy. I was just on fb and messaged him when I was going to see them again because I haven't seen my grandson in almost a month. His response was..."your going to get all the time you want with him because we're going to the Bruins game next Monday and need you to babysit"!....He's doing the same thing my oldest daughter does...they don't give a shiat until they need me. The problem is I'm always happy to sit for them when they need me just so I can see the kids! If I had done this to my Mother I would have hell to pay but I can't do that. It's like there's a sign on me...."use me"...lol. Before the baby came it was money now it's babysitting but again...I don't care and do it willingly. Do you think I'm wrong by letting them get away with this sort of behaviour? I love my kids and would do anything for them. I'm not busy so I have nothing but time.
2 people like this
6 responses
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
20 Mar 13
So many times I have told others not to cut off their nose to spite their face and yet I don't practice what I preach, you could make a song and dance about it my friend, and you have absolutely every right to do so in this instance, clearly you are a convenience to them, nothing more and they could stop you from seeing your grandson totally. When you see them face to face maybe tell them how you feel, then at least you've got it off your chest, otherwise you will be suppressing the anger and annoyance that they have made you felt and that won't do your health any good. Sometimes we have to state our case, even if it's not being listened to because then we have 'said it' rather than let it play over and over in our heads!
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
20 Mar 13
OMG....how many times I've been through this with them and it falls on deaf ears! Their going to do what they want to do and whatever I say doesn't matter. I have to be content with the few times they tell me they love me and believe me I cherish those words from my kids.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
20 Mar 13
Then that is a great shame my friend, they clearly take you for granted. I am not being morbid or anything, but say if something bad happened to you tomorrow, how would they feel? I appreciate my mum daily and never take anything she does for granted, I never know how many tomorrow's she might have. You only truly miss something or someone when they have gone from your life, sad, but oh so true. They should be very lucky to have you my friend!
1 person likes this
@Autumnrose2008 (1478)
• United States
20 Mar 13
If you feel that your son is taking advantage of you your the only one that can change it. He probably dont even see it as a problem since you are getting to spend time with your grandkids. He may not even realize that he is using you. The way it sounds is that he looks at it like he is doing you a favor by letting you babysit for him. Remember your the grandma and you get to spoil the baby rotten and then send the baby home to mom and dad. I say for you to do it. Spoil the baby and then send them home to mom and dad, and the next time that something like this happens simply tell your son that you dont mind babysitting but you would like to spend time with him and his wife as well not just the baby. He may not even realize that you want to see him too and you telling him such may open his eyes as well. Enjoy your grandson on monday they grow up so fast.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
21 Mar 13
Give them a call and tell them you want to see your grandson and not later. The thing is he will change quickly and those infant days go fast. I know I have two grandsons whose birth time would have been this month if they had not been born 6 and a half months premature. So I have about a month to see them before they leave the infant stage. And I cannot afford to take a bus and I do not have a car (here the bus fares are more then the gas used to travel by car) so cannot go that way and besides taxis are very expensive. Then I do not have friends who are going that way for something else and will pick me up when they are finished. That means the only way to get there is to get my other son and daughter-in-law to go there as they live on the opposite section and then onlh if their children do not have a cold or the flu.
So know how you feel like.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
20 Mar 13
You need to have a busier social life. If you are active, your kids may be less likely to think that you are just sitting around waiting for them to call--which is essentially what you are doing now.
I will love any children I have, and I will love any grandchildren I may one day have. However, being a parent or grandparent does not--or, at least, should not--mean that one does not have one's own interests and activities.
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
20 Mar 13
Believe it or not there was a time when I had a life but at that time I didn't have grandkids so it didn't matter. Even if I had a life now I would still be here to babysit for them. It's ok with me that they take advantage because when it comes down to it I really don't see it that way. Life goes on!
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
My one sister does this to my parents. She only goes there if she needs them to watch the kids...I know it hurts my mother especially but she also feels like you do, she is happy to see them and spend time with them...
@wdwgirl (23)
• United States
20 Mar 13
That one is kinda touchy. I understand your irritation with the situation, yet I also understand your willingness to do it to see your grandson. I would try to work a schedule out with them if they are willing so that way it will benefit you all. Everyone would be able to make plans on certain days and you know you would be able to see the grandbaby too :)
