On Friends and the friends or people I hang out or have? Friendship

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Hey there! My concern is on friends. There are times I feel doubts on friends or friendship depending how things go. I've a close female friend aka: best friend from church whom i known around 4 years almost going 5. Though I'm a couple years older than her. And some of the other friends I know longer too or within 2 or 3 years. However, my concern is how would I know if the friends I currently have would last longer? Sometimes I feel afraid if lost any of the friends I am currently hanging out with but I control my attachments to people. I also feel sometimes when friends get annoyed of me or I get annoyed of them of their actions or habits, it makes me think, are they good friends for me? lol. Just like earlier today, I was kinda blah and moody somewhat because a group of friends where playing Truth or Dare outside baskin robbins and hanging out and generally I dislike that game for some reason and plus it was in public. Sometimes I play it but other times I don't. Anyways after that we are playing another game. At first I didn't want to play because I remembered of another game mixed with Truth and Dare cards or something of game which tells you to do an action. My close friend was a bit annoyed since she knows I was annoyed and she likes to insist that I cheer up or be happy...especially if its things I don't like to do or something not my forte in the group or something that is against my will. sometimes I do and sometimes I don't do the games. lolz. I'll admit I'm more or kill joy when party pooper on comes to playing games or certain games. Generally I hate games sometimes especially competitive games because of losing or something like that. But yeah generally through out the day I did have fun. I do blame myself for Killjoy since I don't like games and most of the friends I know like board games or that sort of games Truth or Dare.. I guess it's reason why people in generally think I'm no fun when it comes to games. I hate being competitive as well. And also this close friend of mine is also competitive when it comes to games or video games.. she always wins. I cannot stand sometimes that. I hate losing.. especially on card games. As for friends, I don't know if I'm strong enough and handle situations. Sometimes I have "what ifs" in my mind about all the friends I have. In regards to friendship, sometimes I feel I'm the weak one and too sensitive especially sometimes when it comes to my closest female friend. I hate arguing with friends especially her. But I know I have seen not so good parts of her sometimes the way she is or her acts or attitudes. I have told her what I feel and we talked about all this stuff a few times before.. I just hope I can gain new good friends and also maintain the ones I have. Sometimes I'm afraid that I might lose friendship or be blamed for things. I'm afraid of getting hurt by friends and I've have gotten hurt by other people who used to be my friends. Also another used to be closed friend, best friend from high school, who I always feel annoyed at before but still friends, hasn't communicated with me since last december or jan. At times I feel I need to distance from her because of the past we had. Sometimes she does text the best friend that I have met from church... though I haven't heard from her texting me. I also feel afraid that friends I'm making may drift off me and be taken away from some other friends making me lose friends.. Other than that, I'm also focusing on getting a job. Sometimes I also feel I don't have much friends to talk to. I just hope all is well.