Giving everything to the terminally ill
By bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
Philippines
March 25, 2013 9:30am CST
Speaking again about terminal illness.
I heard it spoken a lot of times, "Give him/her everything he/she needs or wants." This pertains to the terminally ill loved ones or close friends. It had me thinking what they truly meant or maybe they just restrained from going on to say, "Anyway, you'll die soon."
Two things. You will not stop a very sick person from a vice (let's say smoking) because you know that death is just near, or you will attempt to stop/stop that person just to add days or months or years to life because it could delay the worse scenario.
What is your thought about this? Would you give everything, even things that could worsen the illness or speed-up deterioration, because you are compelled to do so out of pity, or because you want the person to lay to rest, out of pity, too?
3 responses
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
5 Apr 13
My two cents - I guess the metamessage we are trying to portray on the message "Give him/her everything he/she needs or wants." is for pleasure and comfort. I know that some people think that it is really a bad idea or it might spark some form of bad encouragement but ultimately, it is the person who decides on their health and body. We, as outsiders - family and friends - can assist as much as we can. In terms of other people's health, most of the time, it's really out of our hands and some people consider their health as their personal business. Boundaries have to make and some decisions (although they have very hard to do ) to be accepted even against our will and knowledge.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
9 Apr 13
we (as the loved ones or friends) could only hope what is best especially for the patient. 
admittedly, i find it odd to listen to the idea but reading your opinions make me realize that we have to allow them to decide for what could make them comfortable even to the tiniest bit of comfort.
admittedly, i find it odd to listen to the idea but reading your opinions make me realize that we have to allow them to decide for what could make them comfortable even to the tiniest bit of comfort.
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
27 Mar 13
bingskee
Wow a thought provoking question for sure! In my opinion it should be left up to the person dying. If they want to smoke, allow it, if they want to drink, allow it...None of us know what we would want in that hour but I would imagine the frustration in being denied what little comfort is left.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
9 Apr 13
hello, stary1. thanks for your input. i think you are right, leave it to the dying rather than imposing on them things they would not want to do anymore. i know that the dying, as very indisposed, could transform into a resigned state, but if that could give them the littlest comfort, i think we have to allow them.
thanks for your input. i think you are right, leave it to the dying rather than imposing on them things they would not want to do anymore. i know that the dying, as very indisposed, could transform into a resigned state, but if that could give them the littlest comfort, i think we have to allow them.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 Mar 13
I feel like a person that is terminally ill should be allowed in whatever ways are possible to be able to enjoy the last days, weeks or months of their lives. Therefore, I know that there are many vices that some people have that could worsen their condition, however, if it is something that does bring some degree of comfort to a person that is dying, I don't think that they should be denied of being able to enjoy those things in the end of their lives.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
9 Apr 13
i am more inclined to what you stated, i must say. it would not be easy for me, as the spouse, for example, thinking how the vices could put the patient in a worse condition but i am with you saying if that could bring some degree of comfort, why not? 
