Desperation

Seems this is a state that I find myself in on more than one occasion, I was desperate to get away from my abusive ex, it was mental abuse and I was desperate to leave but I knew damn well that my ex wouldn't let me just end the relationship, so what I did I plotted and planned my escape, it took about 12 weeks to come up with a convincing story, fortunately my plan worked and I escaped and to this day my ex hasn't a clue where I am. Trouble is, here I find myself again trapped and desperate to get out, living under the roof of my abusive father, it's the entrapment that makes you feel so weak, useless, not being able to do anything about it. I am desperate to get my own place, to get my independence and certainly my privacy back, and hopefully I will achieve this, but at the moment I see no way out.

I have been feeling desperate for a while now... To go on a vacation! Lol. No seriously though, my husband and I have never been anywhere just us in the 9 years we have been together. I would love to be able to go on a vacation with him... I desperately want that with him! Oh well, maybe one day...

I've felt this for quite a while now....in fact, a very long while. I need to get a car, find another place to live, and get a computer. I haven't been around too much because my computer is going bonkers so I'm doing the best I can right now. I had to sell my car a couple of years ago because I lost my job...then ended up taking an early retirement which I didn't want to do but had no choice in the matter. Plus, right now I really want to move because of the idiot that lives above me...toooooo long to go into that discussion so you'll have to trust me on it, lol! Anyways, I guess the car is the item that I'm so desperate for...and I can only save up so much every month...I use my daughters car in the meantime but I'm tired of doing that and I'm sure she is too, although she won't ever say it.

Well at one point I was desperate, somewhat, to get out of my marriage and that living arrangement. other than than, not so much...

This is not really a big deal, and most people would think that my problem isn't really worth anything, but I remember how I felt then. I was desperate last month, when I was doing the driving test here for my state driver's license. I just moved here and so my Philippine driver's license is valid only for a month, after that I need to get one from here. Twice I failed and I am so desperate that I want to sell my car, for what use it will be if I cannot even drive it. So finally on the third try, anticipating that they will fail me once more and I just want it to be over with, I am surprised that I passed! I almost hugged and kissed my car for even thinking of selling it.

I can't say I feel desperation much.. except when I think of where my life is heading and I feel desperate to find a meaning to my life. It hits me in waves and I feel so useless and meaningless in this world, I have no real good connections with "family" or "friends". All I do is work and work and try and get by day to day and it's exhausting and I miss being with my ex boyfriend and having someone to come home to and relate to and just be close with. However, I usually can talk myself out of it and remind myself that I am working to get myself further in life and to provide a stable home so I can take my online classes so I can take the post secondary classes I want. Nothing good comes without a little determination and sacrifice. But when the darkness hits, it hits pretty hard. And it depresses me a little, because I know my life isn't all bad at all and there's people in way worse situations, so I feel guilty for feeling down at all! ugh. Thankfully I distract myself often and I don't get that desperate feeling too much.

I'm not close, but many years ago in college living paycheck to paycheck I felt the hard struggle to put food on the table and have it be low fat and good for us was difficult. I am lucky finished my college education and we bought a house, so am living the American Dream that so many are trying to achieve.

Well, I'm trying to sell my house and in my opinion the house is beautiful and the price is competitive . I feel frustrated when buyers come to a showing and stay for almost an hour ,but never give an offer. I'm beginning to think that all they do is waste my time ,but my house will never be sold. I heard that most people would walk away from the house withing 10 minutes if the house is not what they are looking for.Why don't they just leave my house right away if my house is not what they are looking for instead of wasting my time like that by giving me false hope.

There are times, due to the limitations of this small Island, the desperation can be overwhelming, truly distractful and stressful! And quite often it relates to the almighty dollar...as you know, that no matter what, it is going to take a huge bite out of your "contingency" funds! Recently, my little dog "Brui" was very ill...(we still have not determined what it was)..but it meant many trips OFF Island (ferry fares)...days of work missed..medication, etc. That was money (well-over $1000.00) that I had ear-marked for my unworkable time, as I am awaiting Angioplasty! I can relate many, many times, where my current living environment creates desperation (the fire a few years ago, when no ferries were running)..the flurry of earthquakes we have been having! Servicemen needed..(plumbers, electricians)...the fact that we have lost our Doctor, and we have rotating "locums" that have NO time to read your medical history... This could get awfully long....so best I just say..desperation, very common in my day to day life!

It varies with me. I can't really say how often I feel it but I can say that usually on average it is at around a five. I've come to terms that while I'd like to get out and be on my own, fulfill my dreams in the right here and right now it's not going to happen. That level of desperation has dropped significantly because of it. Recently I've just been desperate to tidy up as much as possible and I've gotten a lot done. I still have more to do, but I am desperate for money to help me complete these tasks. That desperation level is at about a 9 right now.

Basically I always seem to get to live with mine. For example I've wanted to leave where I'm living for nearly 8 years and never have no matter how bad it gets from time to time. You can live with this if you want to.

If i want something to be changed I change it. It is not desperation as my interpretation it is determination. I want to change career because I was already bored doing and saying same stuff. I want to change my place because I want to have new perspective. I studied and I looked for job in connection to the short course I finished.. Was that desperation or determination. My earning to this new job and new place is nothing as compared to what I earned back then. but still if I am asked if I want to go back to that life.. I would say NO..

I'm getting desperate lately.. especially because I can't find a normal job over here..This drive me mad!

It's not often I feel desperate, but lately because of our financial situation, i've been very desperate. Never thought we would be in this situation, but we are and have to get back to the basics and start living within our means. It's been a huge lesson and I know it's going to take a lot of work to get out of it, but I'm determined and desperate enough to do it.

I don't get desperate much, but when I do, I tend to go into full panic attack mode!

According to Henry David Thoreau, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." It's probably because our lives became routine and it is not what we wanted. Doing the same things over and over again. Tomorrow and the days after that. Intervention. You or somebody else should intervene and change the status quo. That should get you going in another direction. It's difficult initially because of inertia. But once we entertain the possibility, forward motion is likely to happen.