I'm not so qualified mom.
By IvChloe
@IvChloe (57)
China
March 27, 2013 8:29am CST
These days i was so busy at my work and share less my time with my daughter. I always think that i am still a "child" even. The social and work stress are so heavy today on our shoulder that we have less and less time playing with our children. I work at daytime and just want to take a rest at home. But my daughter is lively and often asks us to have fun with her, such as doing role plays and reciting stories. I feel so tired and really don't want to say a word, so i send her to her father. I just stay at my room doing my own favorite things alone, such as tidying and surfing the internet. Sometimes my husband complains for i am often tired.
I feel guilty because i am her mother - the person who gave birth to her. I should be fully responsible for all her things and never say no to her. I want to and try to be a qualified mother, but it is hard to change the condition. I will make every effort to share my time having funs with her. I know that i should and i will do that when i am not so exhausted.
Bady, mom will make it.
4 people like this
10 responses
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
Don't think that you are not qualified to be a mom. It's good that as early as now, you are able to pinpoint your mistakes to your daughter. It's not too late to make up for the time lost. Spend time with her as much as you can because you won't notice that she's already getting big.
1 person likes this
@IvChloe (57)
• China
28 Mar 13
Thank you for your understanding and encouragement. I am a person who always make self-examination and make things right. So even i am tired now i try to smile to my sweety and spend some time playing games with her. I am making efforts to correct my shortcomings.
@donatello123 (326)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
I agree with miryanag. Enjoy the time when your daughter is still young. Even though I don't have a biological daughter yet but I do an adopted kid, I really miss her every time I am not with her. She lives in my parents house while my husband and I rent an apartment near our workplace. I make it to a point to always go to our house to visit my kid. I am just amazed that she grows so fast and I know I will definitely miss this period when she is still a cute little child. I love her even though she's not my real daughter.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 Mar 13
I know that there certainly are times that we don't feel good about the fact that there are times that we have to tell our children no, but I really don't think that you should feel guilty about the fact that there are some times that you have to tell your daughter no.
Instead, I really think that the issue that you have is that you always tell her no. Start spending more time with her and you will soon find that your relationship with your daughter will improve.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Mar 13
It is easier to fix our mistakes when we know what we are doing wrong. Your daughter will grow up so fast so you should most definitely make time for her. No one is a perfect parent though, we are all learning as we go along. Children don't come with a handbook, we make mistakes and learn from them just like your doing. I definitely understand being tired but if you can make time for being on the internet than you can and should make time for your daughter, even if it's only 15 minutes per day. Just something to make her happy too. =)
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Mar 13
hiLMB I remember telling my hubby that our son did not abide by the rules when he should turn over in bed or crawl or walk or run,. He always did everything several months before the baby book said he should be doing this or that. My hubby retorted" oh he just never read the book," lol and he was just ten months old when he got hold of a screw driver and proceeded to take his play pen apart by just unscrewing all the screws. My hubby went into see what he was laughing about and there were all four sides of the play pen neatly laid down. He was sitting in the middle laughing his little heart out.ii Heard my husband sort of cussing thenm laughing so went intio see what was going on,I had to laugh too.That was the end of the playpen per se. It made the bext few months really daunting as ii had to keep one eye on him at all times without that playpen but we did manage as I loved mu two littleones so muh.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
27 Mar 13
Such a thing as a qualified mother does not exist. Most mothers are not full time mothers anymore. I have been working as a single mother with 4 children, even at certain times way more (as I was a foster parent as well) for 60-80 hours a week. And now I am not even counting all the work I had to do at home plus my own shelter and the articles I wrote at night! By now I can't even imagine how I managed it for so many years. I understand you need time for you, which is normal. You have a husband so he can take care of your daughter as well. If your husband complains about you being tired the only solution is he makes all the income and you can be a full time housewife, wife and mother! Like so many dutch women have done and still do. BTW if you are not happy your child will not be happy either. That is for sure.
1 person likes this
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
Hi ! It is so good that we realizes our mistakes and limitations ,this is one way of becoming a better mom. Learning from mistakes and doing something about it is very positive approach of a mother and this just made you a very qualified mom. No perfect mom in this world , all have her own weaknesses and strengths . It is but natural to commit mistakes at times , its a human thing , no worries as long as one tries to correct her mistakes and to strive to be the best mother in this world then that is more than enough.
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
28 Mar 13
How old is your daughter?
Sometimes, I do feel tired and want some personal time, but I always remind myself that kids only need me and will be with me in these few years, when they grow up, they will look for friends, then their partner, their family. These are the only few years that I can really be with them, fully. So, I always remind myself to treasure these moments when I can still hold them in my hands, hug them, hold their hands, kiss them...
Perhaps you can think of some activities that you can relax and also accompany your daughter at the same time. I like to draw together with my son, drawing makes me feel relax, and my son likes to see me draw or he'll draw too. Sometimes I knit and my son just sits beside me, whether playing with his toys or seeing me knitting. If you are really too exhausted, maybe you can ask your daughter to let you rest for awhile, then only accompany her. I suppose children will understand that too.
Happy parenting! 
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Mar 13
IvChloe You are just tired but surely you could relax and hug your little daughter and start to keep your promises to her. You need to find a way to get more sleep too as we all need that to feel good an energetic again.I can imagine its really hard trying to be a working mom and still have some time with your child. There has to be a
way though and I am sure yu will find it.One thing on your days opff plan a few little special things you and your child
could do together.Also enlist your hubby in your new plan as if
nothing else let him help in the house chores so you are not so tired and can find time to bond with your baby., good Lu 
k and God bless
k and God bless
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
I hope you can also give time to you child. If you are so tired, why can you still surf the net? Can't you just be with your child , hug her while lying on a couch or in the bed instead.
That way while resting you get to bond with her.
@srisahara (4508)
• Indonesia
28 Mar 13
Hi friend... I also experience it when i was work in a private company. I cannot give a lot time to accompany mu daughter just for play and giving a short story. When i go home, my boss often call me to talk about work in my company, it make me frustration. So I decide to leave my job and choose make money at home by writing articles. Now, i can give a lot time to accompany my daughter and teach many advantage things in life. I hope you can manage your work to give enough time to your child. have a nice day.
