A straight man who HATES woman?
By salemwitch
@salemwitch (35)
United States
March 28, 2013 3:25am CST
Hello, I'm a 22 year old man with what I believe is a serious problem. You see I was raised by all woman, mother, grandma, aunts...etc. no father and a drunken emotionally, and verbally abusive grandfather but that's about the extent of it. I am extremely close to my mother we share everything, always have my whole life, no secrets, no subject is taboo. My mother is a very nurturing, soulful, kind hearted, sweet, like able, mature woman. She had me when she was 16 so she now possesses a maturity that is well beyond her years. Traits my mother and other female members of my family possess are traits I believe every good woman should have. Even though the men they attract and marry often don't step up to the plate where they are supposed to and run. Or In my case, take thier own lives. But I am a good man and a good person, see I think like a woman, I almost empathize with them therefore woman find a certain comfort in me they don't get from other men. The point being that I have had a lot of woman in my life, each one of them crazy about me. But I always end up dumping them because they don't make the cut as to what I'm looking for. Not even for a relationship, just being around them casually. I know it seems like I'm too picky, but not one has lived up to my expectations. Except for one. A lovely woman we meet 5 years ago and dated up until a year ago. I almost married her. My question is, could the reason I sleep around so much be because I set the bar of expectations (inspired by my mother) too high, or because I met a woman who came extremely close and sadly didnt make the cut and now I'm afraid no one will ever get that close again. All this uncertainty has lead me to believe that all woman are hardwired for heartbreak and that there whole purpose is to break my heart. My friends tell me i sleep with so many woman cuz I hate them after what I told you guys could that be true. Plz help, a solid answer would be great. A woman's POV is always welcome and in this case encouraged.
2 people like this
10 responses
@IntrovertShy (2780)
• Marikina, Philippines
2 Apr 13
Wow. My gosh. I was once a straight woman who hates men generally, but not anymore. I promise you that I would not be hating men anymore and of course, I have already forgiven all of them for my entire life, but I have alternatives rather than dating men. He he he he he 
I am watching too much anime and that is my secret and no one knows. I do not know why.
Anyway, we're just opposite. I am also close to my mom and-- I do not want to tell you my whole life why I end up hating men generally from past. Not anymore-and because I understand what you feel, well, the advice that I will give to you is read some of the article that will inspire you a lot, that will feed your soul, your emotion-anything. Do not focus too much on women. Your inspiration must be your God then, everthing will come. Focus on God first then, everything will come like your family, your lovelife.
If you focus on too much on women, you will be frustrated a lot. You will be frustrated because nobody's perfect. Human commits mistake that is the reason why I stop hating men from past. I focus to God, I enjoy life, I focus on goals and I do not care if men like me or not.
If someone came to my life, I would accept him but, if not, I would move on to the next level.
I just love myself--be happy.
Do not just focus on women. Focus on something else like love your family, your friends, your pet [if you have one], watch anime like me and there is so much to do and of course, do not forget about God.
Make him your inspiration and then, everything will come.
Always remember : Nobody's perfect. We're only human who commits mistake.
I am watching too much anime and that is my secret and no one knows. I do not know why.
Anyway, we're just opposite. I am also close to my mom and-- I do not want to tell you my whole life why I end up hating men generally from past. Not anymore-and because I understand what you feel, well, the advice that I will give to you is read some of the article that will inspire you a lot, that will feed your soul, your emotion-anything. Do not focus too much on women. Your inspiration must be your God then, everthing will come. Focus on God first then, everything will come like your family, your lovelife.
If you focus on too much on women, you will be frustrated a lot. You will be frustrated because nobody's perfect. Human commits mistake that is the reason why I stop hating men from past. I focus to God, I enjoy life, I focus on goals and I do not care if men like me or not.
If someone came to my life, I would accept him but, if not, I would move on to the next level.
I just love myself--be happy.
Do not just focus on women. Focus on something else like love your family, your friends, your pet [if you have one], watch anime like me and there is so much to do and of course, do not forget about God.
Make him your inspiration and then, everything will come.
Always remember : Nobody's perfect. We're only human who commits mistake. 
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
In my own opinion, I think that you are expecting too much since you were raised by your mother whom you have set as your model all your life. In reality, it is hard to find someone who perfectly resembles your mother's traits. So what I would suggest is for you to just pick out important points you'd want in a woman and just let her be. Let her show you who she really is and allow her to love you and take care of you just the way you wanted to be. It will take time before she can completely realize what you want for a perfect woman. And I guess, if that woman is so much willing to love you, then she will do her best in being the perfect woman for you.
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
28 Mar 13
You have a mother fixation: no woman can ever be as perfect as she is. That causes all sorts of issues in the subconscious. You should find a therapist to talk to, work through it and release a lot of feelings you probably don't even realise you have.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
I don't think you hate women. If you hated them, you wouldn't even be with them or be bothered by this issue to begin with. If you hated women, you wouldn't look up to any woman at all.
So there, I don't think you hate women at all.
Your case, I believe, is that you have such high standards you barely give the other in your women a chance to prove themselves and to let themselves grow into the woman who would find perfect for you.
There is a limit to being reasonably picky. It is understandable that you want a great woman to spend your whole life with. Just don't give up and get down. Be positive and maybe, someday, you will find the right woman.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
28 Mar 13
Well, to answer valuably, I would need to know what kind of women you met. It could be that really most of them were not good partner material, but it could be that you have too high standards. Maybe visit a psyvhologist - thex could help you to realize what you should do differently, or what you should form in your thinking about women...
@gljcleeve (147)
•
29 Mar 13
The reason you sleep around so much is probably because you're a 22 year old man who is healthy, attractive and lucky.
Most young people, men and women, sleep around quite a bit before they find the person that's going to be a lifetime partner and settled down with them.
If your love of your mother is so great and is genuinely destroying your relationships, maybe you should try to find nd older lady who could become a second mother to you as well as a partner and lover.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
I think the main reason why you break up with them is NOT because they can't reach your expectation, but rather because you are afraid you cannot reach your mother's expectations of you. I'm no psychiatrist but I had a friend with similar "issues" with yours.
You see, when you want a relationship for long term, you must remember that it's 2-sided. She's going to put in efforts, and you have to do so too. You are supposed to complete her weaknesses, and she yours.
One person once told me that he didn't like his wife because she was too boring. Well, how can the wife be boring if the person she's talking to is interesting..? Get what I mean? It's like playing tennis, the amount of excitement of the game depends on both the players. If the opponent is slacking or doesn't perform his best, then the return will not be as amazing even if you're the number 1 seed.
You are the guy, you are going to lead the relationship into its success or it's folly. You have slept with a lot of women because you are focused on what they can do for you rather than what the partnership can achieve.
I suggest you don't look over your checklist. Stop thinking or comparing these women to your mother ~ she's your mother because she's your mother: you're not going to find someone exactly like her. The next time you meet someone, be their friend. Stop yourself from developing relationships all at once.
Lastly, a friend of mine was like you. He even went to lengths of fathering 5 first-bornes from different women. Then after several years, he got married. When I asked him why he chose that girl over all the other women (including the mothers of his kids), he said "it's because she came at the right time". It had nothing to do about her trait nor her perfection ~ she just came the right time when he was ready.
So they say: "there's no perfect formula for love." May you find your perfect match, in God's perfect time. Have a great mylot experience ahead!
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
One reason could be your expectations.
But the most probable cause is- you're not really in love yet.
When people fall in love and found true love- basically they get blinded and sees nothing bad or good- and what matters the most is the feeling.
You will come to know it once true love comes your way.
@TheDemonicAngel (699)
• United States
28 Mar 13
It is very common for the first woman that a little boy falls in love with is his mother, that is nothing to be ashamed of. It is also very common that men (and women as well) will look for someone that reminds them of their mother/father for a mate.
You are very young man and you have been testing the waters a bit, this is normal and actually encouraged by most so don't worry about finding your soulmate just yet. Be patient, you will find that diamond in the rough that you are looking for sooner or later.
@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
28 Mar 13
hi, salemwitch. you're just 22 and you still have a long way to go. don't be in a hurry to find that special one. she'll come along sooner or later. sleeping around is not good (in my POV). there is the danger of having an unwanted child. why do you sleep around with girls that you don't love? i presume that these girls love you otherwise they won't go to bed with you.
your mom seems a very special lady and it's good that you appreciate this.
you expect too much from women, but have you also thought of what you can offer to them in return? maybe the one that you met heard that you are a womanizer that was why she backed out. think about this also.
