Are you and your significant other on the same page when it comes to finances?
By maddysmummy
@maddysmummy (110)
United States
March 28, 2013 7:23pm CST
Had our first serious argument over our finances and debt this morning. Started off as a discussion which turned into me screaming at him. Not a good thing I know, but when one is in denial and thinks because he's the main breadwinner, that he doesn't have to do anything else to help us get out of debt, frustrates the hell outta me. In the last two weeks I've gone from part time to a full time job, have started cleaning out the apartment and selling things we don't need or use anymore (made $38 so far selling 3 items) and have started learning all about couponing, hoping to save $$$ in food. He has done nothing else but sulk and hide away in the bedroom, avoiding anything to do with our debt. The only thing we did agree on was to seek financial help through a counseling debt services but I had to call and talk with the counselor while he listened. I have also suggested we talk with the leasing office, and ask if its possible to downsize to a 1 bedroom which would save us at least $300 on rent. He's expecting me to do it and all I asked that he come with me and we can do it together, but he refuses. I know he's embarrassed about our situation, and so am I, but sitting around doing nothing about it, doesn't make it go away. WE created the debt, so WE need to figure out how to get back on track again. Sorry for the rant. I want us to be on the same page so we can start getting back on track with our finances!!
3 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
29 Mar 13
My husband tends to spend unnecessarily sometimes when he as money. And that is what I hate. Although we are not in debt, I still would like him to just keep the money he has instead of spending it on things that is not that important.
@maddysmummy (110)
• United States
30 Mar 13
I understand. I was a compulsive buyer too but it's amazing how things can change quickly when you find yourself in debt, not realizing all these years how much money I wasted on material things.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
29 Mar 13
My husband has been doing so much better than what he used to be with spending. He used to spend every dollar that was in his pocket, and that is the absolute truth. Years ago if he had $2 in his pocket when he got home it was gone. He had to spend it if he saw it... It drove me crazy! I have always been a saver, I love saving money. So him spending every dollar used to get on my nerves badly.
Now, he has gotten SO much better! If he needs something he will buy it but now it is a need and not a want. He can have money in his pocket now and not buy anything if he doesn't need it.
To be honest, with my husband it took us hitting rock bottom financially and him growing up a little bit. Once both of those things happened he changed so much! It's sad that it took rock bottom to change him but that is what it took for him.
@maddysmummy (110)
• United States
29 Mar 13
I'm hoping it doesn't come to that but I'm thinking it might for him to realise where we are with our finances. I just want him to own it like I have and together we can get through it.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
29 Mar 13
We do quite agree on most of the finances issues, but we sometimes argue on what the other spends some money on in each months - he buys old vintage books he doesn't even read, just to add to his collection, and I buy make-up and clothes and new edition books :D.
But your situation is pretty risky. If he's in denial, you can explain him the situation a thousand times, he won't help you. Maybe you both could go to a counselor together, in person. That may help is a professional says right to his face that you have problems.
@maddysmummy (110)
• United States
29 Mar 13
We also have argued about what we spend money on too. Compared to his bowling equipment and leagues per week, vs my running (mostly free except the races i pay for), my running always loses out. I'm willing to give a few things up but he isn't and that's another issue. Going to a counselor may definitely help, but it's trying to get him there. You're right, if a professional tells him he might just listen, but then again, he got told he has type 2 diabetes and he's still in denial about that!!!
