Do you ever feel like telling someone to just shut up?
By Dominique25
@Dominique25 (9464)
United States
March 29, 2013 8:03am CST
When my husband makes ridiculous comments this often times goes through my head. His latest ridiculous comment was about me not going and spending time with my friends. I have started thinking that I need to start saving some gas money for my daughter and I go visit one of my friends who live in a different area at least once a week. And my husband doesn't like this friend because she had her first child at sixteen and he holds grudges against people forever.
Even though now she is married, and has two children. He doesn't want me to do anything. Now he goes out to eat with his family (without me and his daughter) once a week. And four days a week he goes and hangs out with his brother and his brother's girlfriend during lunch. So when he makes those comments I really want to tell him to shut up and stop talking to me.
2 people like this
12 responses
@maddysmummy (110)
• United States
30 Mar 13
It's funny how it's ok for him to go and do what he wants four times a week, and when you want to go and visit a friend once a week, he gets upset about it. Maybe you need to let him know how you feel, and that it's not fair that he treats you like that.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
1 Apr 13
Thanks I appreciate that! Sometimes he makes me feel as if what I'm saying makes me from planet mars or something. You are exactly right and that is how I feel. He spends time with family and friends all the time. And my daughter and I don't get to go anywhere to see people during the week, or on the weekends. So I think that going to see my friend once a week would be great for us. I could use the company of my friend. It's nice to be able to talk with an adult and it would be nice for my daughter to play with her kids.
@scubapro (1051)
• Gifu, Japan
30 Mar 13
you can and must give your own decisions of course,
even he is your husband he is not your master, if you think that you are doing a good thing,just dont let him to make you angry and stressful
and yes sometimes just saying shut up to the people is best solution
peace..
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
1 Apr 13
Yes I agree with you. He is my husband not my master. I will try not to get stressed out or overwhelmed about the situation. Yeah I did tell him how I felt about what he was saying. Sometimes he should just think before he starts to speak.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
29 Mar 13
If my boyfriend says something that I don't like, I confront him on it. If telling him to "shut up" seems warranted, I am not above saying exactly that.
Your money should be getting saved back in a separate account anyways. You need to be getting out of that relationship. You aren't happy in it, and things don't sound as if they have been improving in the least.
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
1 Apr 13
I'm glad to hear that you confront him on it.I agree at times we do have to say how we feel. And I did tell him how I felt. I'm very proud of the savings I have been doing. And I feel really positive about making some major changes in my life. Yeah things aren't improving even though he doesn't want me out of his life he isn't willing to do what it takes to better the relationship.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
Oh yes! Definitely! Not only to my husband but his sister as well. They just seem to have endless things to say that I feel I have had enough of their voices in my head!
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
1 Apr 13
Yeah some people are just awful about that. I did voice my opinion about how I feel. So if he is going to be upset about me spending time with her then he is just going to have to deal with it.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
29 Mar 13
If I feel like that I say so. The time I did not say it (but probably did think it out loud since my mother already said she could read on my face what I was thinking) is a long, long time ago. I was way younger as 15 years old (and already at that time I was not able to bite of my tongue).
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
1 Apr 13
Yeah my husband can read the expressions I have on my face at times. I did though have to voice how I felt because his actions and what he thinks I should be doing just don't add up. It's alright for him to do everything but I can't do anything. But things are changing at least with my own viewpoints and what I'm going to do.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
30 Mar 13
Oh, my, how many times... I don't wanna sound rude, but your husband seems a bit silly to me. Holding grudges about things that didn't even hurt him is really immature in my opinion. I mean, I would understand if he didn't agree with your friend's behaviour, if she was careless in her life, but she has kids and lives in a marriage, which shows that she isn't immature... yet he would rather spend less time with you because of this. This is crazy. I think you should tell him a piece of your mind, because it could be weorse if he doesn't stop that.
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
1 Apr 13
Yes you are so right. Her actions do not affect him. He just has a superiority feeling which isn't right. I agree he is being very immature about the whole situation. I did talk him about that. And even though I think he will still not like the idea but I'm going to do what I want as he can't say I can't spend time with her. That just isn't going to work.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Apr 13
Dominique you need to sit him down tell him to shut the hell up and listen to you for a change.You cannot be forced to stay home like an indoors house cat as you are an adult and have a right to friends of your own too. Has he ever hit you or pushed you or shoved you? He sounds like the beginning of an over controlling hubby who
could get physical too. You need to st
and up to him and talk this out with him. ![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbdown.gif)
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@Mintlin (322)
• China
30 Mar 13
I didnot have this kind of problem with my husband yet it happens a lot of time in my office.there are 7 women in my office,most of them are BMW( big mouth woman),they keep talking everything ,like their family,children in my office every day,it's really annoying,i can not focus on my work . a lot of time,i want to say " shut up"! however,i didnot myself look rude.i'm working to figure it out.
in you case,i think you shoul talk to you husband directly,he seems selfish and self-centered person,my case is complicated than you,it involves in not just one person.^^
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85275)
• Valdosta, Georgia
29 Mar 13
You know, if he can go and hang out whenever he wants to so can you. Besides, he is not your father he is supposed to be your husband. My husband has NO say in who I hang out with or where I go. If he gets upset when I want to go somewhere I go anyway and he will get over it eventually. I was controlled in the past by an ex b/f and I vowed to myself that would NEVER happen again!
My husband can talk to me about something if he has a problem with it, and we can compromise on things but there is no way he will force me into anything...
2 people like this
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
30 Mar 13
Yeah i do, i just hate it when people just have to say these unnecessary comments that clearly aren't doing any good
You can do the defensive snap and pout with them. Or snap your hands in a z formation and pout. That will shut them up, for a bit lol
2 people like this
@Adval2013 (436)
•
30 Mar 13
A lot of times...the latest was while I and my husband were having lunch with at least nine friends after church. We were discussing events to hold the following week which included celebration for my birthday. I have always been anti-social and the last thing I would want to do is not even to celebrate my birthday with a bang! I was taken aback brcause it was my bestfriend who initiated it. Well, okay I was able to tolerate it and just shrugged my shoulder and did not comment. I told myself, okay, I understand you are all very happy for my birthday. But then again, my bestfriend, of all people, told everyone my age! That's my private life already! If I didn't want to tell my age to everyone I was having lunch with, people should respect that..and they all said..really, you're this age already?..etc..etc..as if they were thinking I was enjoying the moment..and my bestfriend felt like she was very familiar with me and very proud that she knew me well..but hello, why couldn't she wait for me to tell everyone this is me! That time, and everytime she does that, I wanted to tell her to shut her mouth up!
@miryanag (346)
• Bulgaria
30 Mar 13
Yes I feel this way often, but not when someone mocks me or try to anoy me because I know how to shut them up. I feel this way when someone talks too much. I know many people who love to talk my grandmother included. I hat the poitless taking. When you have something to say just say it an shut up.
2 people like this
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