Should you reward good behavior?

Hi friend, some of us will reward our kids to motivate them to do things. As you mentioned the child psychologist suggest you to avoid this kind of practice, better to avoid it. As they know about kids mentality very well and we must follow the doctor suggestion. Hope your daughter will change her attitude in the near soon and my wishes for it

She needs to learn consequences . She gets rewards when she behaves and when she's naughty she is punished. Every action has has an opposite and equal reaction.

My sisters and I had a chore chart and we received our allowance based on whether we completed our chores. We also had some tasks that were just things everyone had to do. So our allowance was based on completing vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning the bathroom each week, and each day we were expected to wash dishes, etc. Allowances ended when we turned 16 but we were still expected to do the chores because we all had to contribute to the household. Did your friend have any suggestions for strategies to try with your daughter? Stubborn children can be very frustrating, but they can turn into awesome adults who are self-motivated and persistent. The problem my parents found with the allowance system was that my sisters didn't care about money. If they didn't have any, they just used mine. However, they still did their chores when my mom implemented a chore chart. (All the chores were listed, and if you did the chore, you initialed it. Each of us had to do 4 chores. It was a race to do the easier chores. Once all the chores were done, we were allowed to watch tv/go out with our friends).

Rewarding a child in monetary terms when they've done a good job is not a best option. It is the parents responsibility to discipline their children. As long as you know that you are doing right, stay firm. Don't be affected by their tantrums. Children must obey you. Not you, obeying them.

Good behavior should be rewarded but not through money. I think your reward should be something in kind like an ice cream or cooking her favorite food or letting her watch TV for an additional 30 minutes. Your friend is right because instead of your daughter doing the job because its her reaponsibility, its like she'd rather do it for money. She'll never learn.

Do what you think is best. If you want to give an allowance, you should do so. Every child is different. The point is that the work gets done. You should tell your friend that your kids aren't slaves and must be treated with respect.

Good behaviour should Always be rewarded! Fact is it seldom is. We find it normal and take it for granted. As my children were still little I gave them pics to save and a certain amount of pics they could change for money (to buy what they like). I did the rewarding with all kind of things, they never asked for gigantic big expensive presents. They are (esp. the eldest and the youngest two) extremely helpfull and sweet. Today they really made my day.

It's an interesting question. I think the idea is good, but it should be done with measure and within reason. If you're gonna give her money for everything she does, she would abuse this right of hers, and would demand money from you for the littlest things as well, even if you may not afford it. Also, it also depends on what kind of chores we are talking about. I kind of think that most kids these days don't do that many household chores, at least in my country. And most of them grow up as healthy people who would feel an urge to do those chores later. A kid might not understand why it is important to tidy their rooms, or why they should help out, if their main task should be studying, and they do that. And it has logic in it, haha :D. I think you could start out with giving little money for some chosen tasks, and when she does them frequently, you could add in other tasks without paying, like "I'm tired, would you help me do this and this?". And of course as she grows up, you could actually see what kind of punishment would work the best if she is really acting like a brat.

i agree with your friend. we shouldn't give material rewards for good behavior becasue the children will get used to this. we need to teach them to handle the responsibily for their action or inaction. if she doesn't want to clean her room, don't clean it for her. leave her to suffer in her dirty and chaotic room and very soon she won't be able to bear it and she'll start cleaning her mess. the problem with us parents is that sometimes we do our children's chores in order to avoid argument and to keep the house from being messy.

It depends on the child as to what will work. If a reward would work for your daughter, don't completely cross it off. Your friend is right, at that age kids should be doing simple chores and cleaning up after themselves without a reward. As a mother, you have to try not to cave and do it for her. My mom had the same issue with my little sister, she's seventeen now and still doesn't clean up after herself or even her dog. It's something you have to get them doing young or they won't learn. My son is five and helps with dishes and vacuums along with cleaning up after himself. I have a chart I put stars on everytime he does something he's suppose to or does extra help and at the end of the week I give him an amount of money depending on his stars. I

Heck no don't reward good behavior. The reward for cleaning your room is having a clean room and everything that goes with it. Let her make a mess (in her room) and let her live with it for a while. It will be difficult for you to hear her nonstop crabbing about not having clean clothes, not being able to find anything, and that smell coming from her room. Do not go in and take her laundry or the dirty dishes. Let it pile up. Living in filth will be by her own doing. After awhile if she doesn't shape up start taking away her stuff. If you take a few items from her room everyday to toss or sell and she doesn't notice then she didn't need it. Good luck. I too have a lazy girl. The filth didn't bother her so I went through her things (mostly clothes) she did not care. I don't really care if she was upset. The constant dirty house upsets everyone in it.