So often I can't talk

United States
March 30, 2013 8:57am CST
I have a conversion disorder. When it first happened to me my family took me to the ER because the doc I went to thought I was having a TIA ( mini stroke). It turned out not to be that. It's been about 2.5 years now in total that I have had problems having normal conversations. I can write easily but I cannot speak. Just a garbled mess comes out of my mouth. On one occasion before my speech problems ever happened I was in choir practice and I couldn't read the words. The words looked German or something. I quit choir because it kept happening. Then one day I just couldn't talk. The words just would not come out. Sometimes the words weren't even in my head. Now more often than not I cannot speak. I can write all day long but I cannot talk. If I am on the phone with someone, before long I will begin stammering and then it will just be a garbled mess of sounds that cannot be understood. I wish it would stop but it won't. The doc says it is all related to the stress in my life. I just stay in my room and read mostly or watch TV so that I won't make a fool of myself trying to communicate. My family makes fun of me when I can't talk so its just less stressful to separate myself from them when it happens to me.
5 people like this
13 responses
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
30 Mar 13
It sounds as if the stress is really spilling over into all parts of your life. I had thought it had gotten better, but I can see from this that it has not.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar 13
hi G G and PQ I am wondering if the medical community is working on these stress related abnormalities and if they have made any break throughs y et?
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 13
I don't think they have. It's what they used to call 'hysteria' but conversion isn't just a woman's disorder. Men can have it too. There is no cure. The body deals with the stress by taking a function away. My dad used to experience blindness. It wouldn't go black on him, it would go white. He's only see white when he got so stressed out.
• United States
30 Mar 13
I'm good. This does get frustrating at times but I'm so used to it happening I don't get scared anymore. At least my conversion isn't blindness or paralysis. That would be worse. My father's vision would white out. It didn't go black, it went white and he couldn't see when his stress made him light headed.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
30 Mar 13
Hi PQ, I just read your other discussion regarding your memory and now this. Have you gotten a 2nd and maybe even 3rd opinion? It sounds as if you may have something else going on. I feel concerned about you.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Mar 13
My doc sent me to a neurologist and he wanted to rule out seizures by having me get an EEG but I couldn't get one cuz our hospital doesn't do them. I didn't have transportation to go to Monroe GA. so I never got one. He came to the conclusion that it is stress related and that it is conversion. I even got admitted and had a CT scan of my brain done. Everything was normal.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
31 Mar 13
Taking Hatley's advice, I am going to hope and pray that they did not miss anything, PQ. I know that stress can do a lot but you also just wrote a discussion on how you have learned to be happy and all. If you are this stressed PQ then you really need to make some changes. This is your life and we all care about you!
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar 13
hi PQ and S id I am going to start mylot prayers that something will be discovered to help people like you PQ to be cured of your speech disorder and hope other mylotters will join in with me.
@BarBaraPrz (47313)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
30 Mar 13
It's like that newsreader that suddenly started speaking nonsense in the middle of a telecast report. Your family should be a little more sympathetic towards you when it happens.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Mar 13
It happens so often. He goes 'why's baby Hughey talking that da da da de de de sh!t?'
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (47313)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
30 Mar 13
Baby Hughey!?! How disrespectful! What's his waist size?
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar 13
hiBarBaraPrz more like whats his head size all swelled up from thinking he's so damned funny? grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. that really fries me as P Q is really very intelligent.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
30 Mar 13
It is really strange to read this because that is what happens to me when I have one of my seizures. When I was first diagnosed with them they called it a migraine seizure. First I get a migraine, then I have memory loss and then I cannot think or speak straight. It sounds just like me when I have a seizure. I don't have seizures like some people have with the shaking and everything. I just get the other symptoms... It is scary when it happens, I feel real funny like I am losing my mind and nothing makes sense. I fear my seizures more than anything else...
2 people like this
• United States
30 Mar 13
I was supposed to get an EEG but our hospital doesn't have a technician. The neurologist said I could be having seizures, but he decided I have conversion disorder.
1 person likes this
@echoforever (5180)
• United States
30 Mar 13
Sounds like a very frustrating ordeal that's begun to happen in your life. I wouldn't know how to deal with that kind of situation.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Mar 13
I've been dealing with it for about 2 years. It used to scare me but its just how my life is.
1 person likes this
@TLilly12 (1229)
• United States
30 Mar 13
This is so sad, I have never heard of, anything like this before, you mean stress can cause problems like this, I hope everything will be alright with you, and I don't like the fact, that you family is making fun of you like that, how would they like it if was one of them, that had to go through this, they wouldn't like it at all.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Mar 13
Yes stress can do a lot. I cannot express myself verbally. I'll start out talking and suddenly the words are gone and gibberish comes out instead. It's frustrating. I'd rather not try to talk because it happens so often.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
2 Apr 13
that is awful, you need support not ridicule. How could them be so uncaring. Tell me do you still teach english as a second language?
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Apr 13
No I can't get there now. I can't leave K to go even if I had the car.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
30 Mar 13
i am surprised that you doctor did not do more extensive test. you symptoms do not sound to good. maybe it is linked to when you are having a psychological episode, but hoepfully it's nothing more.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 13
I was admitted the second time I went to the ER with it but all the tests were normal. It's just conversion but I can't control it. It is brought on by stress.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar 13
oh my dear PointlessQuestions I feel so sad for you as y ou are such an intelligent person and your relatives who are supposed to love you unconditionally make fun of you when you have that speech problem,thats not kind at all nor funny.I realize the doctor says its stress but is there more that he can do for you to help you not to have that happen,the garbled speech I mean not to have that happen? I know that rapid strides are being made in some difficult medical areas so maybe there is some hope out there somewhere.Anyway I love to respond when you write as you are very intelligent and easy to understand.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 13
It behaves very much like a stroke, but it's just stress. A few times when going to choir practice I would not be able to read the words on the sheets and books. It looked like German to me. I couldn't read it. I quit choir and it never happened again. I was on meds but they didn't help at all. Now I can't afford to go and haven't had any meds since January.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Mar 13
i had thought from all your upbeat discussions it had stopped happening.I hope it gets better soon. thats just terrible your family would make fun im disliking your son in law more each day! my son would likely throw down on someone like that or if its a woman he would tell them leave my presence.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
31 Mar 13
Ok ....this is all coming back. I now remember how stressful your son in law could be. I hadn't seen you mention him lately so I was thinking like Bunnybon.
• United States
30 Mar 13
I confronted him about an hour or two ago. I told him how his words hurt my daughter. And also why I choose to stay by myself. He's okay now. He's over his mad spell.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
31 Mar 13
OMG and the doctors can't help you at all because its related to stress in your life? If so, that is horrible and scary for words not being able to come out of your mouth. I never knew this could happen unless you had a stroke. You learn something new everyday that is why I love this website. Isn't there something the doctors can do so you can relax and not feel so stressed. Your family should help by not making fun of you because I don't really see any humor in this disorder at all.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Apr 13
It's called a conversion disorder. They give antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds but they don't help. I'm not on anything now just cuz I can't afford the copay. That doc is leaving and no other doc there takes my insurance. I'm going to ask my family doc if she will do the prescribing from now on.
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
6 Apr 13
Hi dear PQ I am shocked to the max. Didnt know your family makes fun of you when you cant talk thats really cruel of them. Who do they think they are. What gives them the right to do so. I wish I could kick them in the pants for this.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Apr 13
I need to be able to tell them that making fun of me is not helping me at all. I can't halo that it happens. Sometimes they don't say anything but sometimes they just think its funny. It's not funny for me though.
@lpfoot (7)
• United States
30 Mar 13
Expressing your feelings and thoughts can come in many different forms and I happen to believe that writing is one of the best ways. Although I don't suffer from anything that prevents me from talking, I find that I can express my thoughts much more effectively through the written word. I would encourage you to write as much as you can because you are very good at it. Believe in yourself and let your passion and feelings pour out through your writing. Your family should be more supportive and understanding, but we don't always get to choose who we grow up with.
• United States
30 Mar 13
Welcome to Mylot! I do enjoy writing. Since I have trouble speaking I am more quiet so people won't look at me crazy. I used to be able to do public speaking but I could never do it now.
1 person likes this