when she has a boyfriend, our friendship becomes weak
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
March 31, 2013 9:38am CST
Last year, I left the campus to do to work, far away from all of my dear friends. Fortunately, I met Dandan in the company, who is in the same department. Although we came from different places, different schools, we had common interest and ideal, so we became good and intimate friends soon. We always talked about the books we both loved and the future. However, things turned different now. A boy in our department pursued her for a long time, and I encouraged her to accept the persevering boy since he was not only handsome and humorous, most of all, I could see his sincere heart as a spectator. Finally she agreed to be his girl friend. And gradually, the person who accompanied her to go to shopping, eating, talking was no longer me, but him. I knew it was normal and bless them, but I can not helping being lost.
2 people like this
18 responses
@Pegasus72 (1898)
•
8 Apr 13
I have to say when I got a boyfriend the same one I married I spent less time with my friends and more with him, so that just might be the case. Also I had kids while most of my friends did not.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
•
9 Apr 13
yeah, Spending time with the partner and kids, enjoying the family warm is another happiness.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
1 Apr 13
Seems to happen these days... makes me sad. As they always lose the bf and come back. have a great day there.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
•
7 Apr 13
em, sometimes girlfriends are more close and intimate, especially when lovelorn. Hope your girls get rid of bad mood and find new happy life.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
2 Apr 13
I know you feel coz you have been together for quite sometime and then she spend less with you. Just be understanding. But you can also tell her that maybe you can have one day each week where you can both enjoy sharing things like you used to.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
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7 Apr 13
thank you for your advice, I am trying to be understanding and tell her what I feel in fact.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
2 Apr 13
Sad to hear about your situation. As you mentioned you suggest her to accept his love, so you are the guide to her in this sort. I think you are worrying for missing your friend. Don't worry, i think your friend gives a lot of importance to your friendship, hope she will come back in the near soon and expect the day.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
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7 Apr 13
Yes, thank you for your comfort. Indeed, she really treasures our friendship now after the first days when she just began her relationship. Now she usually came out with me, though with her bf together, too.
@extremefun4fun (2908)
• India
4 Apr 13
well maybe it is because that she and her bf spend time together and that is their right but as it has became habit for you to be with her and spend time with her, you feel like that.. it will be alright by time...
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
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7 Apr 13
yes, time will heal every hurt. I can take this easy now. Thank you, dear friend, hope you have a nice new day. AND excellent avatar!
@hsllhl1985 (66)
• China
3 Apr 13
It normal for you feel lost, for your friend, the time stay with her boyfriend is longer than with you, if they get married, they will live together forever. So get rid of the bad feeling, you can not rely on your friend forever, she have many other things to do. But she also your friend.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
•
7 Apr 13
yeah, even if she didn't leave me now, we will have each family respectively at last. I should try to accept the fact sanely.
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
1 Apr 13
That is what really happens if a girl have a boyfriend. Their boyfriend also became their best friend who would accompany them everywhere. They wanted to be in their side whenever possible and as a friend, that really hurts. I have a lot of friends even my best friend had also did the same thing to me. But I never got angry with them because I know that If I were them, I might do that as well.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
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7 Apr 13
Yes, I once did the same thing to my girlfreind but that time I was immersed in my relationship and ignore their feelings. Now I feel the same thing. I will understand my friends.
@anand3friend (217)
• India
1 Apr 13
In my college days, we were 3 best friends enjoys everything with full of blast and together we were traveling and doing fun a lot. But then one of my friend got a girlfriend and after that he started talking to her whole day on phone. That time we were saying lots of bad words for him that he is not giving importance to his friends after getting in relationship. But now I am having a relationship and even I never come to know that my friends are complaining that I am not giving time to them or not picking their calls. So its normal with everyone. You will feel better only if you find someone like her.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
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7 Apr 13
yeah, I like your point. Maybe I will feel better if I have my boyfriend beside me. But he is studying abroad. Loneliness surrounds me. I will be well gradually. I am trying to make new friends with other colleagues. Thank you!
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
1 Apr 13
That happens my friend so don't feel bad.
Having a boyfriend, they will now always go with each other and that's natural. That also happened to me with my friends.
When i already had a boyfriend, i seldom go with my friends anymore, because it's my boyfriend that i am always with already. Although when there are occasions for my friends, i also go with them.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
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7 Apr 13
Yes, when someone falls in love, the others will be less important. It'S normal. I can understand, indeed. Thank you, I will bless her in my heart.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
1 Apr 13
I'm sorry to hear that your friendship has become weak. I hope that in time things will improve between the two of you. Hopefully she will feel it is important for her to spend time with you again. So that you don't feel the friendship is lost.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
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7 Apr 13
Yes, you are right. The two days I found that she seemed to feel my lost and unhappy, sometimes she came by to talk to me and give me a big smile. Thank you, I pick up my friendship again.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Apr 13
i guess it happens with any friends, but don't worry, she will spend much time with her boyfriend in the beginning time of love only, later, she still needs to spend time with friends and has her own meting, not stick to her boyfriend daily anymore. Just be in touch with her...
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
•
7 Apr 13
Dear friend, I feel that you are very apprehensive and caring. Your dissecting on the girls' inside is penetrating.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
31 Mar 13
I think this happens to many people. A new relationship means you have to invest in that a lot at the start. As soon as partners are more used to eachtother they will pick up their own lives more plus have more time for their friends/family as well.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
•
7 Apr 13
Yes ,you are right. And now I should brace up and begin my new life, make new friends and have my old friends cherished in my deep heart. And I like your words "a new relationship means you have to invest in that a lot at the start".
@srisahara (4508)
• Indonesia
1 Apr 13
Hi friend, you are right. When your friends has a boyfriend or girlfriend, your friendship become weak, it is normal because she or he has someone to share and to going together, and you will losing them. When I still single, I also experience it, but I try to be patient until I find my boyfriend.
When you have marriage and have a family you will difficult to keep your friendship, because you have a lot activities with your family. I think, it is a good idea you enjoy your life right now, before you have some activities with your boyfriend and your family in the future. Have a nice day.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
•
7 Apr 13
Have a nice day, too. Maybe it's time for me to have a deep thinking about my future life. After all, all of us will finally have our own family.
@sanjanakundra (2)
• India
1 Apr 13
this was kind of acceptable
priorites have changed for her and at times life is a tough balance and most people are unable to balance all relationships
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
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7 Apr 13
Yes, you are right. There are so many things in life to cherish for us. Sometimes it's difficult to choose.
@Frederick42 (2024)
• Canada
28 Apr 13
Perhaps that is the function of boyfriends. When boyfriends barge in, friendships tend to become weak. When you or your friend has a boyfriend, then you or she would have to maintain a harmonious relation with not only with the friend, but also with the boyfriend. It is very difficult
But true friendship will not break, even if it may become weak. In life, hot turns will come. It is also not good to always cling to a friend. One needs some private space.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
31 Mar 13
This happens with a lot of people... I think it is sad. Just because I have a man in my life does mean that I should ignore my friends either. My sister has done this to me. We were so close hanging out all the time. Then she met her now husband and everything changed. I no longer mattered-unless he was at work or not around. It is wrong.
Even when my husband IS home I still go hang out with her whenever she wants me to. I have a husband yes, but I also have other people that matter in my life. :) I think spending every single minute with your partner will lead to a sad and miserable life. Yes its nice spending time with them but its also good to do things apart as well...
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
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2 Apr 13
yes, it's common in our life. Many things and people matters in my heart, just like you. Although we love our partner very much, we still sometimes need a break and spend sometimes with our dear friend. Maybe its allurement is its remoteness.
@donatello123 (326)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
This normally happens since priorities change as time passes by and depends on the person we choose love. Friendship weakens when each of you found your partner. I have a group of friends when I was in high school and even if we graduated from high school we still meet each other and bond with each other. We normally see each other once in a month and sometimes once a week however when some of my friends get married, we seldom see each other now and I understand it.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
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7 Apr 13
Maybe others have grown up and been mature, but I still keep the state in campus. It's time to grow up for me. Thank you, sharing this feeling with me.
@sakuralight (60)
• Egypt
31 Mar 13
I kinda understand your feelings , my childhood friend got married last year thanks to this I barely even have time to see her let alone go shopping together , I`m happy that she is happy but somehow even now I still feel something is missing
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
•
7 Apr 13
When we are growing up, something pure and sincere is missing with time gone. Maybe I should be happy for my dear friends just like you. All in all, I have them in my bloom of youth.
