my ex only texts me when his girlfriend isnt around
@RandomnessPrincessx3 (280)
United States
April 2, 2013 12:09am CST
... and it bothers me. I know his work schedule, and he texts me only during his work hours. If I happen to text him afterwards my message will be ignored until the following day. Or if she goes out of town, he'll make an excuse to see me. The thing is they live together. I'm not even sure how it came to be becsuse she lived with him before they were dating. We've been broken up almost three years now, he's been with her for almost two. He is my son's father. We were trying to work things out when she came into the picture. It didn't work though because he went against his word and long story short, they have a baby. Everytime they fight or she messes up he reminds me of how I was with him and how he misses me. He's been claiming for a while now they're just roommates and being civil for the baby. Her posts on his online pages, like facebook , say different though. It's not like I want the drama i'd suffer to be with him again. I won't lie, ill always love him. I think I'm just bothered because don't know how he feels.
2 people like this
11 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
2 Apr 13
I can see you hanging....and maybe you should also ask him what is his stand about this whole thing. He should not be playing with your heart. If he thinks that he still loved you then he must think about it real hard. If he becomes sure about his feelings, I don't see any reason why he should remain with the other woman.
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
2 Apr 13
Jen is right ! Don't trust with his words , sometimes some people plays well using words alone ! Don't be deceived easily ! If he is serious with her woman then he should not chase another woman. He must show some sincerity !
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
3 Apr 13
Thanks , Angelpink! This guy is jumping from one woman to another whenever he pleases, and this is so unfair to both women who loves him more than he knows.
@RandomnessPrincessx3 (280)
• United States
8 Apr 13
jen: When he starts with the i miss you's and other "sweet" things, that's when i pipe in "how's the girlfriend, btw?" he insists their not dating though. he says she's trying to find a place so she can move out, but i've heard that story since around thanksgiving time! I understand if he doesn't want to kick her out, with the baby and all. Apparently, he says she's already seeing other people. I don't know. I try not to pry too much because i really don't want to hear all of it. If i ever ask how he feels about me, he'll say he loves me but thinks we should be friends for the time being because he doesn't want to see me get hurt with everything else he has going on. If he was real about all of this, it'd be one thing. but as Angelpink stated, i really can't trust his words, but his actions. I haven't seen any action towards the words yet.
@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
2 Apr 13
hi. he is just your ex, so what are all those exchanges of messages about? does he regularly visit your son? does he4 help you in your son's expenses? he's the father of your child so you cannot really stay away from him. though if i may suggest, stay away from him as much as possible. he wants to have somebody on standby, that's why he's doing this. and even if you still love him, don't let him do this to you. if he starts saying that he misses you, blah, blah, blah, then ask him to choose. this is the only way to stop him.
abother thing, if he's not financially helping you with your son's needs, even if it's just a small amount, then stay away from him. he's not a responsible person.
you said they have a baby too. how many kids will he have before he decides to really settle down? his track record is not admirable.
@grvdubey11 (1879)
• India
2 Apr 13
That's the problem when you love someone ,you tend to ignore all the wrong things he does to you,it happens with everyone.
@grvdubey11 (1879)
• India
2 Apr 13
Hello@dagami ,thanks for responding.I agree with you completely,even if you love someone its very important to keep your self respect intact.There are people who get love when they don't deserve it and then they play with your feelings.If sacrifices,dedication and forgiveness is there then it should be form both sides,best wishes.
@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
2 Apr 13
@grvdubey11. hi, there. you're right, we sometimes lose our senses when we are in love. these lapses happen when we get too wrapped up in the relationship. this is one reason why it is always good to ask friends' and relatives' opinion/advice.
even if we're madly in love with a person, we shouldn't forget to love and respect ourselves. some people tend to get abusive if they think they can get away with it.
however painful it may be, ending an abusive relationship is still the best deal. i'd consider it abusive if someone leaves me hanging - like the ex of our friend here.
he knows that she's still in love with him, that is why he's behaving like that.
and she's the only one that can put a stop to it.
@pahak627 (4558)
• Philippines
2 Apr 13
Do you still exchange sweet nothing messages as in you are still lovers? I don't really know how you feel but it seems that you are still expecting something from him. Just don't mind him so much. I guess he doesn't love you. If he loves you he would not have find another woman for him.
@RandomnessPrincessx3 (280)
• United States
8 Apr 13
when he says cute things, that's when i ask about the girlfriend. i dont say things like that to him back. and i agree, if he wanted it to work he wouldn't of taken the course in life he did.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
2 Apr 13
Im sure he does that so she wont catch him. But dont let him play games with you. Thats not fair at all.
@AngelEyez5151 (25)
• United States
2 Apr 13
Hi Randomness. I hate to say this, but I think you should tell him to back off and you will only deal with him about your child. He sounds kind of sleazy the way he's going about things. Your never going to find happiness if you keep putting up with this nonsense. Good luck in whatever you decide to do!
@AngelEyez5151 (25)
• United States
8 Apr 13
maybe you should stop talking to him, so things will keep looking up for you.
@RandomnessPrincessx3 (280)
• United States
8 Apr 13
I should, but we really don't talk much to begin with. this previous conversation we had was the first in 3 months. It's mostly when things are looking up for me that's when he decides to pop up.
@Hugsy25 (274)
• Canada
8 Apr 13
It is my experience that a lot of men say things they don't mean, I'm very blessed to have met my husband when I did. It made me decide to leave a relationship that I had been in for over two years. Now even though I was happy, it wasn't enough, and I always felt like he was lying over stupid things.
@RandomnessPrincessx3 (280)
• United States
8 Apr 13
this is exactly what im thinking. it just frustrates me when he says these things he doesn't mean.
@grvdubey11 (1879)
• India
2 Apr 13
Well you mentioned that he is father of your child and you still love so obviously you cannot ignore him.Best thing you can do is that dont expect anything at all from him,whatever attention you get ,consider that as a bonus,best wishes.
@RandomnessPrincessx3 (280)
• United States
8 Apr 13
it is hard to ignore him, and i try not to expect anything. i like when we talk, i guess it's too much to think of him possibly coming around a little more.
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
2 Apr 13
RandomnessPrincessx3
Wow I see how you would be conflicted. He is the father of your son, but also the father of his GF's child ....You need to do what is best for you and your self image, and take care of your son as much as possible while trying to stay out of drama with him. No doubt that is easier said than done.
Perhaps if you are able to find someone else it might ease the pressure somewhat but it is a situation you will be dealing with and hopefully you can find happiness for yourself. I wish you all the best...
@RandomnessPrincessx3 (280)
• United States
8 Apr 13
thank you. i'm doing all i can, but i can't help feeling bothered when he sends things, or when he doesn't respond, but expects me to respond to him. ill be over it, but then he pops back up again. hopefully a. he stops. or b. i handle it better in the future.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
2 Apr 13
Hi Randomness, I think you DO know how he feels and if you
don't I think you are in denial...You have already answered
your own quiry by saying he only contacts you when his girl
friend goes away...You are just a standby that should have
better selfesteem for yourself...Don't allow yourself to
be treated any less than a lady and the mother of his child
...You two are not tocgether for a reason...just think about
that..Don't allow others to use or mistreat you...
Unless he is asking about the child you share just don't
return his text..why are you waiting for him...
@RandomnessPrincessx3 (280)
• United States
8 Apr 13
i guess i did answer myself, seeing how i do feel like i'm on standby. I usually am good at focusing on other things, and when everything seems to go great and i nearly forget, well, i should say, move on from everything with him, bam! there's a text. It's not necessarily that i'm waiting for him. I'm just not seeing anyone.
@TLilly12 (1229)
• United States
2 Apr 13
When you ex can't have his way, with his girlfriend and they fight, then he want to come back running to you, don't let this guy use you like this, and like you said if you text him back, he won't talk to you until the next day, he is playing games with you, end it don't have anything to do with him, even thou you two have child together, this doesn't mean a thing to some men, me made his choice, he is with her now.
@HumanRites1 (18)
• United States
2 Apr 13
It's too much drama and can become exhausting. See if you can't just communicate when you need to do so regarding your son. Don't take those calls he gives you after he fights with this other woman. Cut them off right quick and don't listen to him. It sounds like this man is trying to play both ends against the middle, and that is not fair to anyone.
If you're not in constant contact with your son's father, you'll have more peace of mind. Your heart will feel free to find someone else.
@RandomnessPrincessx3 (280)
• United States
8 Apr 13
we aren't in constant contact. the time frame between our last conversation and the previous one we had was three months. i'm peaceful for the most part, but then he comes and does this kinda thing and i get a little shook up, like why this again? why now? whyyy if you dont feel this away. things i should ask him but i dont. i'm not waiting on him, i'm really not looking for a relationship at the moment though.
