My brother took my son out last night...........

Children is innocence in any divorce cases among couple and will suffer emotional trauma before mature in life. Presumably you hold the custodial on the children, right thing to do is to maintain good relationship with your children. Meanwhile, you may still maintain friendship with your ex, who knows miracle will happen if you still love him for the sake of children. God forbid divorce and due to the stubbornness of heart, will allow only on the ground of adultery ( both sides ).

How old is your son? You could explain why you and his dad can no longer be together in terms he could understand. Is it possible to find out if that's an idea that his father put into his head? I don't envy you-my daughter was about ten when we split up and although she claimed she was glad, she acted out a lot too.

You have to remember Mariaperalta...that what you son wants and what can actually work are two different things.. Right now .your son is thinking from feelings of loss ..and not from the reality of why you and his dad separated.. He is still your son.. he is someone with very limited understanding and life experience..you are his mom and no matter what .. he will love you.. You can simply say.. "there are things you do not know that keep me and your dad from getting back together. we love you.. but it wont work.. don't go into long explanations that create more questions..tell him.. it wont work. .it isn't easy to explain..but that he is loved by both of you and always will be.. ".. you do what you cannot do..

I think by now you would realize how confuse your son is. I would suggest that you should try to understand your son alone for what he is and be there for him when he has questions about what is going on. Bringing up about his father will just be opening up old wounds, I am sure there will be other children with broken homes in school where he will be able to realize and relate with. Again, all these takes time. Focus on his well being for now and let things settle down for him. Participate in his activities, homework and whatever he may need for now. I am sure that with time he will realize thoroughly your love and care for him. Leave adult issues aside it is not time for him other than knowing who his bio father is.

Hi Mari, I hope that you are fine. You have to be very strong and wise. My parents got divorced 16 years ago a week before I got married, and divorce isn´t easy to face. Even I´m an adult it isn´t easy to me. On monday I was trying to overcome all the feelings divorce has caused on me. I browsed the web looking for: "how to survive to my parents divorce" in spanish. You´ll be surprised how many useful hints you´ll find. Take a look on them. Remember, first of all Miguel needs your love and support. You need to have peace of mind, soul and heart. Blessings Mari... dainy

You don't panic. This is what all kids of estranged or divorced parents want. They will forgive any kind of emotional abuse if it meant that the parents got together again. It isd their fantasy that if they were bacvk together then all will be well in their lives. DO NOT talk to your sone about this anytime soon as he will know the info came from his uncle and then lose faith in his uncle. Leave it alone and think and pray hard. You know your son but plan to disabuse him of this notion in your way. But not today. Please don't do it today

Maybe if you sat down with your son and told him straight that you will never get back with his father, I am sure he will understand and appreciate it, otherwise he will adopt these fantasies that one day soon you two will be together again, once he knows this will never happen, he will accept it. It calls for honesty, even after all what his father has done he still obviously misses him and is still hurting.

Your son is old enough to understand that you cannot do that. If necessary, talk to him and tell him truths in his face. I don`t think that is good for young people hide the truth from them. My youngest daughter did that with her eldest daughter and my granddaughter was awful to her while she was a teen. She thought that my daughter was a witch. Fortunatly she overheard a phone conversation between her parents and discovered that dadddy dear was not as nice as he seemed.

Yeah things like that are hard. It's natural for children to want their parents to get back together. But at some point they will not to realize that this will not happen so they will learn to cope with this. It will take time though.

Actually i couldnt understand what you are telling. what happend to his fatehr? wher is he. i think your son need your support. what is the age of your son

Hi maria...I know your feeling, but unfortunately your son do not understand about your feeling. Yes, he does not understand about marriage and divorce. I think it is so hard for you. I think it is a good idea if you talk to your son that you and his dad cannot get back together because there are many reasons. Although, he does not understand right now, but I believe one day he will understand about you. Have a nice day.

Time will come and he will understand why you need to ba apart. He abused you? For now just talk to him seriously.

Don't worry. He will understand. I think he needs little more time. Wish you best of luck.

It is good that your brother help you out by talking to your son. At least he will be willing to let go his feeling. Kids are like that, what they need is your concern and love. I believe you have and are giving him all these while. You may try to lwt him know how you feel about your the other half. However, you need to express out to him so that he could see and feel it. Probably he may also want to feel being secured.

Of course your son wants you to get back with your husband. Your son needs his father. Your son.... NEEDS HIS FATHER. Children need their father. Not a new father, not another father, they need THEIR father. Father's have the largest and most important impact on a child. More than anyone else. Now, your husband has moved on, and remarried, so it is impossible for you to do what you SHOULD do for your child. You SHOULD HAVE stayed with your husband, unless he was physically killing you or your son. So there is nothing you can do. Nothing. The choices that were made to this point, have left you with no possible way to make what has been done, right. Sit your son down. Look him eye to eye, and explain that your husband, his father, has remarried, and there is nothing you do about it. I would suggest you do this quickly. And expect for your son to not take it well. Divorce does more damage to children than you can ever imagine. It can't be helped now. Tell your son to be more wise than you were, so that he will not harm his children, the way you and your husband have harmed him.

I think that most, if not all, kids from separated parents want their mom and dad to get back together again. So, I think it is understandable that your son wants this. I think it will take time for him to realize and understand that you have moved on. Maybe when he sees you in a new relationship, and you being happy, then he would realize that you're better off without his dad.

I can feel that you really do not want to have anything to do with your ex husband. And to make your child feel better, I think that the best think that you can do is to at least have a better friendship with your ex for your son's sake. Miguel must be hurting so much knowing that you have bad feelings over his father. And maybe seeing both you and your ex in a happier situation might make Miguel feel better, too.

Thats what all kids want in our situation. My kids want the same thing and like you, that will never happen. I know it hurts them and it preys on their minds. But this is the reality. I have been having a hard time with my son and my daughter is all confused. But I always tell them no matter what that I love them forever and always.

Look at it from your son's point of view: to your son, you ARE 'Mom' yes? Part of 'the team' of "Mom & Dad"? Your son is just thinking about 'how it could be' FOR HIM (not for YOUR happiness or DAD's happiness ... unless 'raising your son well' makes you happy---which maybe it should ) I'm pretty-sure that 'seeking your own happiness' is the on-ramp to the highway-to-Hell ... maybe this is the way you can teach your son NOT to take that on-ramp, by asking him to think about how you would feel. This is probably something your brother should've told him, but now you need to tell him at-least this guy-stuff: ladies don't care what you (Miguel) want until they have what they want---just like you (maria) won't get back together with the ex--because he's not what YOU (maria) want--even though you (Miguel) want 'a mommy & a daddy.' Now if you (maria) HAD the husband you wanted (someone like ... oh, I dunno ... ME? ?), then we could THINK about what you (Miguel) want. Maybe you could preface that with, "You see, Miguel, Mom can't be 'Mom' all the time now; she has to act like a lady sometimes. And--though it may be more-important to you for her to be 'Mom'--'being Mom' is like a pile of homework on your desk when it's nice out & your friends are outside calling you out to play!"

wow it is great that your brother did that for your son I hope that he had a great time out with your brother I hope that in time your son will work out what ever issues he has with his father and that all will be much better a son does need his father no matter what issue you may have with your ex husband best wishes to you and your family