financial assistance from an Ex.
By pomwango
@pomwango (1353)
Kenya
April 5, 2013 1:26am CST
i find it very wrong that some people get into financial issues and run back to their Ex for help,is this not opening room for your Ex back into your life?My friend is engaged and was stuck in her business and her man has no cash to bail her out,knowing her Ex is loaded with cash she went to ask for help,ofcourse she didnt confess who bailed her out to her fiancee but now her Ex wants them to keep meeting in the guise of knowing how her business is doing but am sure he wants more from her ,was this fair of her and would you do such a thing?
2 people like this
16 responses
@alpha9180 (301)
• Malaysia
5 Apr 13
Ethically is it not appropriate to go back to ex for financial needs perhaps due to desperation. However, there should be genuine without any attachment that will arise misunderstanding that affect your relationship with fiancee.
2 people like this
@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
5 Apr 13
they must have remained friends after their break up otherwise she wouldn't have had the courage turn to him for help. what i think is wrong here is that she lied to her fiancee. i also presume that she continues to lie or doesn't tell him about her meetings with her ex.
if i were in her shoes i would also ask help from my ex. i will just have to make it clear that it is a LOAN and i'll be paying him the soonest possible. and i would really pay. and i'm going to tell my fiancee about it.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
9 Apr 13
I think that this is wrong. If she is out of one relationship and into another her loyalty lies with the new person.
Also, she should not be lying to her new partner. I think she will come undone eventually and she will have nothing and no-one. It's what she deserves in my opinion.
@alicia812 (646)
• Australia
5 Apr 13
I won't do such thing. I have too much pride
in myself. I also have too much respect for my
man that I won't put him in a position that he
will appear incapable of supporting me in any
way. I don't want to judge your friend. For
sure she's got her own reason for doing that.
And for whatever reason it is hope she can be
honest with her man and not hurt him at the
same time. Otherwise she should just avoid
asking financial help from the Ex.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
5 Apr 13
I do think that it is fine to seek help from an ex but just be as honest as possible all the time and make it clear that you do not want anything from him other than the help.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
6 Apr 13
You should make things clear from the start and tell him that you only need his help on this particular issue and nothing more than that.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
5 Apr 13
In this case it sounds as if the 2 exes still are attached in some way. Many exes esp. if they have children or been married/together for years are also. So both have to take care of the children also financially. Same with ex man paying for ex wife/gf after a relationship of many years (or the other way round). I think this is normal but also agree that it's hard to start a complete new life.
1 person likes this
@randylovesdar (4932)
• United States
6 Apr 13
I would not ask my ex for help because I think it would open doors to trouble. I could see if there was a child involved because the child does have needs and both parents need to be a big part of their child's life. I feel that since your friend asked her ex for help she needs to be honest to her current fiancee and tell the truth. It was not fair to ask the ex for help.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
5 Apr 13
Then in my own opinion she should leave her current boyfriend and resume relations with her ex who she is meeting on the sly. That's not fair of course to her new boyfriend. What is the payment of the money she borrowed from her ex? That sounds suspicious. It's like she's being unfaithful to her new lover. She better straighten things out so she won't come out as a cheater.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
5 Apr 13
it is quite common because there is some misjudgement and it happens henceforth,he is supporting ,you with some good some financial adjustments and good backing,awesome to go for sure
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
6 Apr 13
Creepy story! 
Why did she have to ask help from the person who she least should have asked it from? There could have been other people able to help her.
Maybe the most convenient person to help her is this ex of hers but it is not a wise decision. Now she has no choice but to face the consequences. She'll have to deal with it. She should have known better, right?
Why did she have to ask help from the person who she least should have asked it from? There could have been other people able to help her.
Maybe the most convenient person to help her is this ex of hers but it is not a wise decision. Now she has no choice but to face the consequences. She'll have to deal with it. She should have known better, right? @wowjen15 (183)
• Philippines
5 Apr 13
Well, I can't really speak for your friend. But for me, my opinion is, I won't do such action that I know would cause future problems between me and my fiance. It is not really fair to my fiance and add to that is not telling the truth on who help on the bailing out.
@RandomnessPrincessx3 (280)
• United States
8 Apr 13
I think it's silly to run to an ex for money. Sure, sometimes people need help with things. I understand that. But to sneak going to an ex for help and being engaged. It puts out a bad image on the girl, even if it wasn't intended. It's not really fair to the ex because now he expects more, and it will be heartbreaking to the fiancee if he finds out. Honesty is the best way to go!
@Hanser1016 (80)
• China
5 Apr 13
‘Should we be friend after we broke up?'My EX and I solved this big problem by being strangers.Since we are srangers, Ofcouse we don't contact,inclouding the financial problem. No offence,I think your friend is making a wrong step.But in other words,maybe you just worried too much,maybe her EX don't want something bad just want some chat?
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
5 Apr 13
Not in my wildest dream will I ever ask any assistance to my ex.
I will do everything and will ask help from my family, friends and relatives- but no way asking anything from an ex.
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
5 Apr 13
An ex will always be an ex , meaning i will never let him join my life again in any form . Let bygone be bygone ! All have to move on ! Don't seek anything from him because asking is like placing an attachment to each other. This must be avoided because it is always hard to have an attachment . Attachments yields to expectations.
