Candid or Rude?

Hi grvdubey I always prefer someone to be honest than sugar coat it. For some people I can feel if they truly want an honest answer or not. You are right it is crazy when people ask a question but yet they really deep down do not want to hear the truth. Sometimes people like this I just ask them back gee what do you think, most times they will say oh I really like this or that and then we are left wondering why did you ask in the first place (if you are not going to like my answer) just the way people are I guess.

Many times it is the tone and choice of words in which the answer is delivered which makes it seem rude. In the examples you gave, however, it sounds as if they were just really honest answers. Those people are just looking for confirmation. Someone probably already told the person that coke was bad for him, deep down he knows it...just looking for people to agree that it is ok so that he can feel ok with it. It's kind of the same thinking that heavy drinkers have. They may have nothing in common other than that one habit or vice but it bonds them together like nothing else.

Some people don't like to hear the truth and they would much rather you be diplomatic and tactful, but surely lying is not helping, if someone looks terrible in what they are wearing, isn't it better to tell them straight rather than them going out and making a fool of themselves? People are frightened of being candid in that they don't want to offend, or be rude, so would they rather us be liars and tell them they look great when in fact they look the opposite to spare their feelings? They can't have it both ways.

Some people doesn't tend to appreciate you when you give your honest opinion and some does. I feel if you have the acceptance then it can help you excel in many things. I have achieved many goals due to this. Once a person (good friend of mine) told me that i am too fat to look good and should shed some extra pounds, i might have taken it in negatively but instead i accepted it which motivated me to loose weight. Now today i have achieved my weight loss goal.

No doubt, there are n number of inferior people in this world. Though the level of inferiority varies from person to person. One should be careful from these people who can't appreciate your honest answer, especially, if he is your boss. In case of your senior or boss, just make sure that you react diplomatically. These are not only inferior, they are self centered too. That you'll come to know by their reaction. E.g. you were sharing your own preference with your senior but he was so self centered that he compared your opinion with his own and due to inferiority he replied like that. Such people should contact a psychiatrist but they'll never do that.

I always ask my husband how do I look everytime we go out but he always reply "Yeah, yeah. Good, good." And when I insist of an "honest opinion", he goes high blood in answering "bahala ka na!" ("Do what you will!"). I just want to hear if I look good and if not, I would like to hear what to add or what to change instead of hearing just "It doesn't look good on you". Perhaps the "honest opinion" girls looking for is the subtly of telling them what to change or to add to look good (if not better). Other girls might share the same sentiment. :)

Some people don't value honesty as they should. Some are just not prepared to hear the truth because they may be too sensitive about it. If I knew I was too sensitive, I wouldn't bother asking anyone to validate what I already know anyway.

i always get caught into this trap of sticky situations when i give out my opinion. i guess i would agree sometimes that i am rude but what can you expect sometimes?! ive told my friend that a shirt doesnt make her arms look good. i didnt think that it was so rude to say that and that maybe i was even helping her. but i hit a sore spot and she started freaking out. to this day she wont ask me my opinion in her clothes bc she thinks im rude. im guessing someone before me had lied about tht shirt and told her she looked great. me, personally, would like it if someone was honest with me that something didnt look good. obviously i would be hurt if they said something that hit a deep spot that i am sensitive about but i already know that if i am sensitive about it. and maybe i should hear it so i work on that thing or even work on hiding it from the general public. i dont drink coke ever (even when i was a kid). i get called a snob often when i reject such things but i dont care at the end of the day because its my own choices and no one will remember that they thought of me as rude or a snob until they ask for my opinion again. if they really dont want to hear it, i just come on mylott and blurt it out :P everyone wins

Candid i would say he is trying to be frank and also share the opinion squite lightly

Yeah I understand what you mean. Some people may be offended no matter what. And at other times people can be honest and yet tactful. I know for example my husband opinions are almost always negative in some way. So I just have to tell him to be tactful or I don't ask him opinion .

Many times, but I don't care for the first time before I say she said honest opinion, then so be it frank is different from being frank but it depends on the opinion of the other person.

Maybe when people ask for honest opinions they are actually feeling down or unsure of themselves and wants to hear something positive. Hence they are really asking for honest opinions that are positive:) Not many people can handle negative feedback, and it may be worse if it is candid. If it is malicious at least they can dismiss it as untrue.

My girlfriend has asked me the "how do i look?" question several times. I have told her that if she asks me, then she will get my honest opinion, and not nessesary what she wants to hear.

Some people are narrow minded. They cannot accept the fact that sometimes they are being refused. It's just okay if they gets mad. You are just being true with yourself. Keep it up. You don't need to pretend that you like or want someone just because you want them to be happy. Sometimes you need to be honest for them too realize their mistakes