I Hate It When People Don't Say What's On Their Minds
By Janey1966
@Janey1966 (24170)
Carlisle, England
April 8, 2013 1:59pm CST
Take my Dad for example.
Last Tuesday (as requested by him) I bought him a lovely new pair of slippers for £15, from M&S. It was a belated birthday present..and I actually FORGOT his birthday last year, so wanted to make amends this time round.
Anyway, his face lit up when I showed him the slippers.
'That's a good start,' I thought.
He then tried them on. They have a velcro fastening at the top so are easy to slip on and off again and the fact they're adjustable was an added bonus.
Or so I thought...
Yesterday (before coming back to Carlisle with John) I noticed that Dad was still wearing his OLD slippers that are falling to bits and mentioned it to him. He told me he was 'saving' the others for the garden.
Fair enough. He hates throwing anything away and I thought he'd wear his new ones more often once his old ones were so worn that he couldn't wear them anymore. That's what he's done in the past.
So, imagine my disappointment (and frustration, if truth be known) when Mum rang me before to tell me Dad doesn't like the slippers after all and did I have the receipt.
No, I don't have the receipt because Dad didn't actually SAY he didn't like them to my face. Apparently, he didn't want to upset me, which is rich as he says upsetting things all the time, why should a pair of slippers be any different?
To say I'm livid is an understatement. I told Mum I could've used that money for 'something more useful..like food for instance' and said that I'll never buy him anything else ever again if he's going to be so ungrateful. If he'd said something when he was trying them on it was early enough in the week to take them back and get a refund. Because I paid cash Mum seems to think she can take them into M&S and they will give her a credit note as there's no receipt.
I told her, 'Good luck but don't hold your breath,' on that one.
My brother behaves in exactly the same way. At Christmas I bought him a nice Sergio Tacchini top that had been greatly reduced and yesterday I noticed he was wearing a tatty Adidas one he's probably had for years.
I don't know why I bother with the men in my family. They're a waste of time..and money!
He then tried them on. They have a velcro fastening at the top so are easy to slip on and off again and the fact they're adjustable was an added bonus.
Or so I thought...
Yesterday (before coming back to Carlisle with John) I noticed that Dad was still wearing his OLD slippers that are falling to bits and mentioned it to him. He told me he was 'saving' the others for the garden.
Fair enough. He hates throwing anything away and I thought he'd wear his new ones more often once his old ones were so worn that he couldn't wear them anymore. That's what he's done in the past.
So, imagine my disappointment (and frustration, if truth be known) when Mum rang me before to tell me Dad doesn't like the slippers after all and did I have the receipt.
No, I don't have the receipt because Dad didn't actually SAY he didn't like them to my face. Apparently, he didn't want to upset me, which is rich as he says upsetting things all the time, why should a pair of slippers be any different?
To say I'm livid is an understatement. I told Mum I could've used that money for 'something more useful..like food for instance' and said that I'll never buy him anything else ever again if he's going to be so ungrateful. If he'd said something when he was trying them on it was early enough in the week to take them back and get a refund. Because I paid cash Mum seems to think she can take them into M&S and they will give her a credit note as there's no receipt.
I told her, 'Good luck but don't hold your breath,' on that one.
My brother behaves in exactly the same way. At Christmas I bought him a nice Sergio Tacchini top that had been greatly reduced and yesterday I noticed he was wearing a tatty Adidas one he's probably had for years.
I don't know why I bother with the men in my family. They're a waste of time..and money!3 people like this
12 responses
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
8 Apr 13
That's why I don't like buying gifts for people... I usually buy gift cards so they can buy what they want... One of the things that I've talked to my girl friend is exactly that... She doesn't wanna tell me if she doesn't like something I get her... Few years back, I went out & bought her a shirt that I knew she didn't like just to see if she'd say something... She said thanks & that's about it... So I kept saying, "you don't like it... Just say the word & I'll go exchange it for ya"... She said it was ok... It's been 4 years & I haven't seen her wear it once... We had our discussions & arguments & now I think we are better at communication, though far from being perfect... I always tell her exactly how I feel about something... That's not to say I'm always rude about it... But she'll always now how I feeling isn't & what I'm thinking at the moment...
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
8 Apr 13
I always think it's being HONEST when we just come out and say something..but, perhaps that's just me? I dunno.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Apr 13
hi janey didn't you know men are from mars or maybe even Pluto? My hubby loved candles so I gave him what I thought he
would love apretty crystal candle holder. Did he use it? no . I asked him finally and he said its too pretty and besides it says never let your candle get so low its below the rim of the crystal as it will break the crystal., I was really upset as i had paid way to much for it and so I was more careful with what I bought for him. Men are leary of anything that they have not used before. I did use the crystal candle holder for short stemmed flowers ant hey looked lovely in it.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
8 Apr 13
My friend, you have every right to be livid, that is so ungrateful, doesn't he realize that by not telling you to your face he doesn't like them he has actually makes things a hundred times worse? You are NOT a mind reader, you cannot tell what he's thinking and why should he expect you to. Money is tight nowadays. Will you confront your father about the slippers?
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
8 Apr 13
Please care to elaborate as I don't know what you mean.
1 person likes this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16759)
• China
10 Apr 13
It is really frustrating for you going out of your way to buy somebody something as a gift only for him not to be satisfied with it .To top it all,he says nothing to your face ,which misleads you into thinking he likes it.It was strange your Dad didn't say the first thing that came into his head as he used to do when you gave him a pair of slippers.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
10 Apr 13
My brother is the same. Obviously takes after his Dad!
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
9 Apr 13
i'm good at giving practical gifts to people in my economic bracket. it's hard giving gifts to people "richer" than me. it takes me a long time to think of something they'll like that i can afford, but whether they use it or not is hit or miss. some do, some don't. sometimes i buy two gifts (within my budget of course) so at least one will be used.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
9 Apr 13
The fact that my Dad actually TOLD ME he wanted a new pair of slippers made it all the worse when he told my Mum (once I'd left and come back to Carlisle) that he didn't like them. Why he didn't tell me at the time he tried them on, I've no idea. I'm a grown woman, I can take it lol.
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
10 Apr 13
yeah, he should have said what kind of slippers he'd liked, the color, design, material, even the brand, so there's no mistake, right?
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Apr 13
Ah, my sister-in-law, asked where I got a gift, I told her, I never saw it in her house, so I assume she returned it.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
8 Apr 13
Hopefully, they do give a store credit on the slippers.
I guess that the best thing with gifts for either your father or brother is to take them out to a restaurant of their choice or give a gift card to a favorite store.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
8 Apr 13
It doesn't help that my Dad is the worst person in the world to buy anything for..I should've known.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
14 Apr 13
I think this is a common thread among men. Most, if not all.
I am the same way.
I don't know about your dad and your brother, but for me it's just that I don't really know how to react (in most situations). And most of the time, around women, whatever reaction I pick, it's usually not the right one.
I don't know about your dad and your brother, but for me it's just that I don't really know how to react (in most situations). And most of the time, around women, whatever reaction I pick, it's usually not the right one.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
9 Apr 13
It's hard to give gifts to "choosy" people. My sister in law also has the same dilemma. She would always think of buying something for his husband, but she knows that she should not coz his husband would just be reacting abnormally with the purchase. So, I told her not to even other anymore.
@TLilly12 (1229)
• United States
8 Apr 13
I don't waste my money on buying, thing for anyone in my family,I have better things to do with my money, then to waste in on some thing people don't want, in the first place,I just give them money, and let them buy their own, gifts for them selves, image if you gave your dad money, he would have been complaining, about how much money you have him, when you have problem thinking, of what to give someone just give them a Gift card, that would solve the whole problem.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
8 Apr 13
I'm not a big fan of Gift Cards as a company can go bust and you cannot use them. Also, my Dad never goes out shopping!
@kijikiken (81)
• Philippines
9 Apr 13
Hello Janey. You should not regret for giving a present to your dad. Though he did not like it you just showed him that you still value him because you remember him on his birthday. Daddy's are like that especially when they are old. They are choosy sometimes. Just cheer up. You can also give him soon things that he likes.
