Have you ever experienced a time when things seemed crystal clear?
By Dominique25
@Dominique25 (9464)
United States
April 9, 2013 9:32am CST
We all have to make make decisions in our life. A lot of decisions we make our on a daily bases and we often don't even think about them. Others are big decisions that we have thought about for years. Whether it's career,work, or family life. Just in the start of this year as stressful things continue to happen in my life I have come to see things clearly.
My husband is always going to do what he wants to do, he isn't going to change, he isn't going to change and help me or support me. Even though I have tried to make things work for a few years now I realize it's time to start doing things differently for myself.
Case in point we had a van but now we need to either replace it or get smaller equipment. Instead of doing things in a simple way and buying just what we need, and saving to get me a car my husband decides he wants to make things more complicated. He wants to buy expensive equipment, and an expensive van for an account that we are only earning $100.00 a month from.
And then he talks about driving two hours to an Imax theater twice with his brothers which will cost close to $200.00 and yet he isn't willing to help me get an old car? It's situations like this that continue to open my eyes to the fact that he isn't going to change, He isn't going to help me. He expects me to stay at home for another year or until whenever "I" have all the money to get me a vehicle. It's time for me to prepare for the end of this relationship.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@roshigo58 (4859)
• Pune, India
12 Apr 13
Hi,
Your husband is very dominating and he is not willing to change at all. He doesn't care about your financial position and spending money without thinking. It is very unfair. You should talk to him tell him your feelings and then take decision about ending your relationship.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
17 Apr 13
I completely agree with you. All of this stress is actually becoming very overwhelming. I just can't wait until I'm in a position where I can support myself and my daughter. As my husband doesn't really care about helping me in any way. I've talked to him about how I feel and things just continue to remain the same. It is sad that these things are happening but it is important that I figure a way to support myself and my daughter.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
11 Apr 13
I agree with you. We really do have a lot of things that bombarded us. It is nice when we have that quiet time to ourselves when we are able to think.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
10 Apr 13
I think we have all been there a time or two. When it comes to budgeting and being able to live within their means this is something many have had to learn over the years. My husband has a tendency to over do it at times so we have to learn to budget more while watching what we spend. It would be easier if their was an easier way than just learning how to say NO.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
11 Apr 13
I agree with you. Budgeting is a very big thing. It does take some people a longer time to learn how to budget and to save when they can. I know it took some really hard times before I fully able to appreciate budgeting and saving. I hope my husband comes to see the value of it soon.
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
10 Apr 13
Some guys are like that. They claimed they love and care for us.
My husband for an instant, I have hinted him, tell him straight
forward that I love to have a new car. No action at all, just like
I am talking to the air. You are absolutely right, this guys aren't
change for us. They care for other thing more, selfish character.
I used to call my husband penny wise pound foolish! To change for the better,
I think both of us have to decide what is best for us. We have to care and
love ourselves, no one else except God.
I used to call my husband penny wise pound foolish! To change for the better,
I think both of us have to decide what is best for us. We have to care and
love ourselves, no one else except God.@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
11 Apr 13
Yes I agree with what you are saying. I'm working hard to do this. I have come to see that it is up to me to get where I want to go. And that in a lot of ways I will be doing it without his help. As this has become clearer it has helped me to also see that in some ways I can no longer sacrifice what I want in order to help him. I can help him in some respects but not to the detriment of my goals and dreams.
@grvdubey11 (1879)
• India
9 Apr 13
I really feel bad for you,its just unfair to be treated like that.You mentioned you have been working hard to maintain the relationship,so keeping in my all that efforts try to explain him in detail once or twice more before thinking about ending the relationship.I am sure if he loves you he will change.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
11 Apr 13
Thanks! I appreciate your thoughts. I will try to talk with him a little more about it. It is just very crazy to me that he continues to keep doing the same things and yet he doesn't want to understand why I'm not happy. Like the other night he started talking about wanting to have a business logo professionally made which could cost $400.00 I mean what in the world do we need that type of stuff for. Maybe if the business was booming we could look into that but we are no where near needing to purchase that type of material.
But I will let him know how I think and the way I feel. Because it is behind frustrating that he wants to spend money on things like this but he doesn't want to help me with things we really need.
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
9 Apr 13
It seems you are very tired of him already! I tried to follow your story and it is really hard to change people when they themselves don't like to change . That thing must come from his inside and not from you. Willingness and sincerity must be there , but as i can observed , this thing can't be found on him but anyways will not lose hope , still give him one more last chance , who knows this time he will change already. Nothing is impossible ! If still he doesn't then i guess it is time to decide.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
11 Apr 13
Thanks for sharing your thoughts I appreciate it. I'm getting really tired of it all. It has become very overwhelming. I'm a good wife and mother. I take cook, take care of the home,work part time, and raise our daughter. I have supported him in his endeavor to start a business for the last three years. I have put aside my goals so that I can take care of our family while he does what he wants. Now there are things I would like to do and he isn't willing to help me.
I would like to have a car not anything fancy but just a decent car. Since my daughter doesn't go to daycare or spend a lot of time with other children I would like to be able to do more things with her in the community. And that requires a car. Just the other night my husband started talking about buying a $400.00 professional logo for his business and buying clothing with his logo on it. That just drives me crazy. We don't need all that stuff right now but we do need another vehicle.
He just wants to start spending all of this money into a business that hasn't even got going yet. And he isn't willing to support his wife even though it is something that will benefit myself and our daughter. We are stuck at home all day while he goes out to eat with my in laws and spends time at his brothers for days a week. But my daughter and I aren't able to do any of those things.
