I don't get why she is this way to me!
By dismalgrin
@dismalgrin (2604)
United States
April 10, 2013 10:51pm CST
Today my boyfriend's niece came back from a visit to California and my boyfriend and I went to pick her up from the Airport. When we got back to my boyfriend's house she started whipping out presents for everyone. Everyone but me. I don't want to come across as a whiney brat in saying this, but it kind of hurts my feelings a little that she did that and this isn't the first time this has happened. Last year she went to California and did the same. The thing is I always buy her daughter presents for all the holidays, for her birthday too. And my boyfriend's niece I buy presents for on the holidays as well. I bend over backwards for her as one would for family. I go to the hospital to see her when she is sick. I've gone over to her house to keep her company when she was afraid of an ex boyfriend coming to hurt her and many more things like that. Every holiday she shrugs when gifts are passed out and says she is poor poor to get me anything. Yet she purchases gifts for everyone else in the family and their significant others as well. Not only that but she gets well over twice as much money as I do and I manage to get her a little something.
Besides that she has this annoying habit of overly rubbing in the fact that she is my boyfriend's son's Godmother. Nothing official mind you because they aren't religious at all. But when my boyfriend's son is being cool with me she steps in and starts going on and on about him being her "son" haha, I have half a mind to think she is somehow envious that I will one day be his stepmother! But, how can that be because my boyfriend is her Uncle! And, on that note she has talked my boyfriend out of making our engagement official because she claims that my boyfriend's mom will have a stroke and die and it would always be his fault. Which is about the stupidest excuse I've ever heard of because my boyfriend's mom is actually halfway cool with me right now... and if I were to share the outragous things others in the family have done you would probably have a stroke and die, not her though. She gets upset but hangs in there. So I have this beautiful engagement ring sitting on a shelf at my boyfriend's house. Everyone knows he plans to marry me, but I can't wear the ring yet because of my boyfriend's meddling niece.
I don't get it really. I don't know if I should continue to play the role of Auntie here to someone that treats me like this or if I should just give up on her because she obviously isn't worth the trouble.
Advice?
3 people like this
12 responses
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
11 Apr 13
Sorry to hear that. Ive had that with my exs family for years
Who needs them.. you dont need her...
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
15 Apr 13
Thanks, yes I don't need her. And I don't really need validation of our engagement to be "official" but oh it would be so nice!
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
15 Apr 13
Your right, as I told my son once here. When i married your dad I didnt marry all his family..
@artemeis (4194)
• China
13 Apr 13
I don't think you could get any answers as to what is exactly causing her to dislike you but out of all this, I have to hand it to your boyfriend for not coming to comfort you. I am not asking that he sides with you but the least he could do was to cushion all that harassment you are receiving. I feel you should have a word with him on this aspect because he should be caring and understanding here.
I am sorry but I don't think your boyfriend's niece could be in the way of both of you but if you remain quiet, your boyfriend will never step up to protect you and treat this as nothing. You deserve better.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
11 Apr 13
That is so rude of her to be giving out gifts for everyone and not one for you. That is so nasty and cruel to me. I could never go on vacation and not bring back something for everyone that is in my family, especially someone coming to pick me up at the airport. Maybe you should have a nice talk with her and ask her whats the problem. "Why are you treating me like this after all I have done for you?" "That all I have ever been was nice to you, been there for you but you treat me like crap." That is unbelievable nonsense especially not wearing the engagement ring because your boyfriends mom is going to have a heart attack. 
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
15 Apr 13
The one about her thinking her Grandma is going to have stroke if he puts the ring on my finger has had me maaaaad all weekend. Because she has a lot of health problems herself and then goes and openly parties like that. Doesn't even try to hide it from her Grandma. I see the stress this is causing and I'm pretty sure this behavior could make her Grandma have a stroke. Really if fingers must be pointed.
@roshigo58 (4859)
• Pune, India
15 Apr 13
Hi,
You boyfriend's niece's behavior is very unfair with you. It is very strange that she don't remember the help you gave her whenever she needed. You should ask directly what is the problem she has with you. You must feel awkward by her behavior with you. Your boyfriend is ready to marry with you should wear the engagement ring.
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
11 Apr 13
Just keep on doing what you do, be nice to her despite her being that way but be on guard lest she got crazy and tries to hurt you or your boyfriend in some way. Just keep on earning good karma chips. Let her say whatever she wants to say against you, and let your actions speak for the truth and be the very proof that she got you differently. Anyway, what's important is you, your boyfriend and his kid and the future that all of you will have together. Extended families are just bonuses-or small thorns- and must be dealt with only sparingly. Afterall, she isn't really going to be part of your family if ever you decided to settle down.
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
11 Apr 13
If you have no expectations of her, you will not be disappointed. As for the engagement, that is pathetic on your boyfriend's part to let her do this. People have strokes because of poor genetics and bad lifestyle choices. Not because their kid gets engaged. Your generosity and managing to buy gifts for people just shows you are a much better manager than many.
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
11 Apr 13
I also think that most probably you should give a thought if you really needs the person. I think it is always good to have friends and people who care about us in life.
@grvdubey11 (1879)
• India
11 Apr 13
That's pretty rude! , you are actually a very nice person to bear all that so far,also love for your boyfriend must be holding you back.My suggestion is that you should share this with your boyfriend and tell him that next time she acts like that you wont hold back.This is completely unacceptable to be honest.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
11 Apr 13
I think you should seriously sit down and have a talk with your boyfriend. If he has bought you a ring then it should be official that he is proposing and that he plans to marry you. Live your life the way you want don't let his niece cause you stress. It is rude that she does those things but don't let her try to live your life for you.
@xiaoqian19880825 (180)
•
11 Apr 13
hi, I am undergoing the similar things to you, but the target is not niece, but my bot friend's mom, who let me sad and mad all the time. I have to obey her because that I LOVE my boy friend very much and he is trying his best to make her mother change her mind to let us together. I can not frustrate him, I should fight shoulder by shoulder with him. Good luck to you. If the niece is really as you said, ignore her, continue your life with you bf but not with her.
@beta715 (57)
• Australia
11 Apr 13
She is so mean,and I don't like her. What does your boyfriend's feeling? Does he notice about that? If nope,I think you should talk with your boyfriend and his niece. Just tell them your feeling. Maybe there are some misconstruction. I do hope everything will get better.
