Divorce your spouse....Not your KIds..........

This is actually very normal. A woman's new husband will never love the kids nearly as much as their real father. Further the kids will never love the step-father as much as their real father. If a woman does divorce her husband, the best thing she can do, is either work towards getting back with her husband, or remain single. This wacky idea that you are going to divorce, and then have this great blended family, is just not how it works. Either find a way to stay with your husband, or accept being single for the majority of your life. This is why you should be wiser, and smarter, and more intelligent in determining who you marry. ANd then learn how to influence your husband. The biggest problem with women today is none of them have a clue how to influence their husbands positively.

that the advice! He should also accept dependent children; if he loves her, he should love her in whole, with her kids. Your friend could have replied that she loves him, but not his shadow! perhaps this would have given him some light.

Hello Maria. I think that their marriage lasted for 17 years so it was quite a long time. I know that she has got divorced from her husband and the kids are hers. She should take care of her kids and if the man loves her he would want them as well. Some men happily take the roll on of step parent. The new man in her life is already being unreasonable. She is a package with four kids. Good luck to your friend.

It is hard to find another man that will love your kids as his own. It does happen but it is not easy. As a single mother, I found after a bit of trial and error, that it was best to just date on my own time and leave my dating life completly seperate from my parenting life. My kids did meet the people I dated but nothing went on in my home, they did not spend the night. How long have they been dating? Does he at least care about the kids? Does he have kids of his own? I do think it is hard for some people to love other kids that are not their own and a lot of that depends upon the length of time that the couple is together as well as the ages of the kids. Blending families is not easy at all.

I am with you on that. The way I look at it, he knew she had kids when they got together and I am sure the subject came up. If she knew this then she should have told him to hit the road that she will not give her kids up. That is if she loves them.

You told her good. I mean its up to her to stay with a man that doesnt love her kids. Nobody can make him. But he has to respect them and treat them right. She can clearly state to him that if he doesnt love her children they cannot be together, but there is no way she can make him love the kids, no way.

How can any relationship survive if your new partner doesn't love your kids? Your kids are part and parcel of your relationship, it's all or nothing, simple! You were right in what you told her, if the man don't love the kids, then adios! Find a guy who does.

hi there. i love your post. seemed like i can relate.lol. i have a kid too and guys are just around, hovering.lol. yet i can't risk it since i have a kid who's most important than anyone else in the world. you have a point here : You divorced your husband and not your kids.- If that new guy loves your friend the he will also love everything and everyone with her.it's a whole package, actually. PS. i saw your blog and i have some earning sites to share. just add me as friend and send PM if you're interested. thank you.

Exactly right

I think your friend should seek for a man who loves her and her kids. Love needs more than pleased moments.

Yes, I agree with you. If that guy really loves your friend, he will manage to learn also to love her kids the same love he is having with your friend. He should accept wholeheartedly the kids and he have no choice. He loved a committed woman with kids.I think your friend has no problem. Kids are more important then her new lover.

that is too bad if new man will not accept kids.. then what she want to do with that? I mean which love she would prefer? love of a mother for kids? or love for a man who nobody knows he is really caring ones and love her truly or what ganna happen in the future? my friend's cousin married to a lady who had a kid, and was divorced. the man said to lady that I would never accept your kid and after marrying me you should not bring your kid to my home, lady thought ok, he loves me and later when I become his wife I will talk to him and catch his heart.. after marriage, she miss her kid a lot and once she bring her to home, her husband came to know and get mad and divorced her just for why she bring her daughter to his home? means you love your daughter more than me??? I think if a man love a lady really then will be caring about feeling of that lady and what a lady feeling as a mother? who wants to make distance between a mother and her kid? if there is real love and care.... it is good for her to think and accept love and responsibility of her kids first..

you are so right Maria our kids must come first they did not ask us to be brought into this world and we have to take care of them the best we can for at least 16 years they are not disposable

That's good advice you gave to her. I like that YOU DIVORCED YOUR HUSBAND NOT YOUR KIDS

I am in total agreement with you. Kids should come first. So where are her priorities? I would have told her to get rid of the new man

Well when the new Lion takes over a group of Lions ,he kills cubs of other Lions ,that is act of animals.But humans have intelligence and emotions ,and to act like humans we have to follow basic rules of humanity.So your friend should make this clear to her boyfriend that kids are part of her,best wishes.

I wonder why she even had to ask. The kids are a package deal. If he doesn't want my kids I won't want him. That's all there is to it.

How can folk even think this way? It baffles me and it makes me angry - Kids come first.

Hi friend i agree with you, children need her caring, if she choose the man and ignore their children, one day the children will ignore her, even never recognize that she is their mother. I think it is so hurt for a mother. I think it is difficult for the man to love her children because they are not his children. It is normal.

marriage is a serious matter as well as divorce. if talk can help them to reach out ,they should do it , because divorce can affect their children.