My Opinion...

On basis does she state that parents who want to be around their children all the time are creating them to be brats? How does that stand up? Parents who are around their children all the time produce nurtured, loved and cared for children who will grow up learning what it is to be loved and wanted, and they in turn will pass this onto their children. I wish my father was around for me as a child, but he was less than useless preferring to spend his time in the pubs etc. I would love to know what study she has found that backs up her totally bizarre and crazy statement. I pity her children to be honest if that is her attitude.

Finding a babysitter is hard and for me personally, I do want to be around my kids less than I am now. I don't go out much because finding a babysitter is hard, and if we do find a family member to watch them unless my husband and I go to a random store and there is kid stuff, I don't think of them at all. Now, I don't personally get why any parent would want to be around their children 24/7 because every person needs some time to themselves. However, I don't think that anyone should ever leave their kids with babysitters more often than maybe four times a week if they have a weekly date night or less (not including if the parents have to leave the house for work). I love my children, but I don't always want to be around them. I wrote this whole thing out about why I am leaving being a stay at home mom to an outside of the house working mom in another discussion and went into more depth than I am here of course. It all depends on the parent. Any parent should remember that there are two factors in having children: What is best for the children and what is best for the parent? If the parent is sitting there and overly stressed out and much more, is it really better for that parent to spend super large amounts of time with their children knowing the feelings could easily be picked up and stress out the children? No. Therefore, it all depends on a variety of different factors on which is actually better for the children.

I don't have children yet but my boyfriend and I plan on starting a family in a few years. I think that woman is a bad mother, one of the reasons that we are going to wait a few years is so that we can be financially secure enough for me to be a stay at home mother, my mom was and I know I want to be as well, I don't want to miss moments of my child's development.. I don't want some babysitter or nanny raising my kids..... Yes of course you need time away from them for yourself and for your partner as well . But the idea of a mother that DOESN'T want to spend time or be around their children, they probably shouldn't have had the children in the first place.

I think that if people are going to have kids they need to want them and want to spend time with them. Kids that too. They need to feel apart of a unit and they need to feel loved. I think a date night once a week is more like it myself. A couple times a month doesn't seem like much.

Hello dear Loving I´m very pleased to read you, and to know you´ll be writting more often! I can tell you: a) the "ladys" vision is the side of my mother´s vision. b)your vision is my vision. My mother is exactly the way you describe. Indeed I grew up with a nanny and I missed my mother too much. And I wont tell you thraumas but I can tell you I didn´t eat with my mother, just weekends and when she had vacations. But when I became mother I chosed to be with my children everyday. We are very happy, we have debts, but we are working to get out of them. My teens are already helping making online payed tasks to help us with the expenses. Blessings Loving... dainy

I think it has been proven that brats are likely to be created when the parental influence is absent. The rise of the working mother has been a problem, and that is not to be critical of working mothers. It is to be critical of us as a society. Of course women can work, nothing wrong with mothers working, but fathers do not give up work to take over the role of "mother". What should have been society moving to give equality to mothers in the workplace, became nothing more than a way of of earning more money for a household... The children were left at home under the care of available relatives or babysitters. Are we really surprised that our kids are brats or we have failing moral standards? And what happens as our children reach their teenage years? It could be argued that these are the years that parents are needed the most. The good lady and I both worked for several years - We did start to notice that our kids where become unruly and school work was suffering. We made the descision that one of us should be at home more. I have the full time job and she works from home. I think I drifted of the point a little there. I could rant all day about how we are ruining our way of life. However, you are right. What is the point of having kids if you are going to palm them off on the first available babysitter? My kids are now 12, 14 and 19 and I love spending time with them

I was a stay at home mom when my kids were little. I worked, but I worked at home because I wanted to be with them. I liked my kids. I enjoyed being with them. We never went anywhere we couldn't take the kids because we were a family unit. I can see, though, that some kids would turn out to be brats if their parents were their main influence. Still, whoever trusts a babysitter to raise their kids aren't too concerned about the way they turn out, either.

Imagine that , actually WANTING to be around your kids, and not letting strangers raise them. What are you thinking girl?You probably can guess where I stand on this one. I am very proud that my daughter is at home with her kids, and my future daughter in law does all kinds of things with her girls as well. I did not get to do "date nights" often when my kids were growing up. I had even other kids ask me why I would always go to the pool when my kids did. Well, my kids actually when they became teens would ask me to sponsor or chaperone activities for them. Not because I was hip and cool and acted like the kids, but probably because I was reasonable and enjoyed being there as an adult. So, officially, I think it is better for the kids to have parents who want to be around them, who are consistent and supportive and who do not let total strangers raise them.

Personally, I do not understand those people who have children then rush back to work leaving the babe with child care. What is the point? Why have a family if you don't want to raise them, teach them, spend time with them, play with them, watch them grow, help/teach them to be the best they can be, encourage them and love them lots?

Wow...that's crazy. When my girls were young, I gave up a great paying job so that I could babysit and do odd jobs in order to be around them more. Not only could I not afford a sitter, I really wanted to raise my kids myself. Later on, when my husband and I divorced,my situation changed and I had to find a different type of job in order to make ends meet and even then, most of my hours were on the weekends when their dad had them so that I could be home with them when they were not with their dad. When I did need a sitter, it was my mother or my older daughter who was 15 at the time. I do know that some mom's really want to get out and work as opposed to being home all the time and I would never judge that. What I do judge is the statement that those who chose to stay home are creating brats. Raising kids to be responsible adults is not about the amount of time spent with them but rather the effort you put into making sure that you instill values in them. And like you...whenever I was away from my children, I missed them so much. When I had to work , it did not matter who they were with, I missed them. And I loved summers and school vacations just for the extra time with them.

I don`t trust babysitters, but there are some people that I trusted with my daughters when they were children and other people that I trust with my grandchildren. It`s not always possible to be around their children. Both my daughters are single mothers, raising their children on their own. They didn`t start that way: they both got married and were supposed to have a life sinilar to the one I had with their father. Both my children need the money from their well paid jobs and the only way to do it is to paid for someone to take care of their children. But we had very good help. I can vouch for that.

Kids might want more independence from their parents, but that's a different issue. Frankly, some mothers got pregnant without planning for their kids. Maybe they had them but resent the time and effort they require. I think people who don't want to be parents should use birth control. I never went anywhere where my daughter wasn't welcome or where I would be ashamed to take her. Yes I worked, and I had my parents to do child are for me. I worked lots of overtime, and I wish I didn't have to because I missed my daughter. I was providing what she needed and wanted as a single parent, but I know she missed me and cried for me. It tore my heart out. So when I was off and during times when I was with her (I worked at night while she slept) I made sure that we spent time together. I never tossed her off so I could go drinking or partying. It just was not me. My daughter said she would rather have had more time with me but it couldn't be helped. I had my daughter because I planned for her. She is still the apple of my eye. She is 43 now.

Normally me and my husband don't go out much unless family watches the kids. I was gone for 2 half days nd my mother in law and my mom watched both kids because my husband wanted to go to ny for our anniversary. We get maybe if we ate like one night a month for a movie night but we Leo plan it out and ask family first. I love being gound my kids even when they drive me crazy. But a little break and to just be by myself or with my husband is nice

when they are still babies, i think it is important for the mother to be with them all the time. however, as they grow older, they should be given the chance to meet other kids and interact with other people even without the presence of their moms. once they are in school, however much the mom wants to stay with them, their presence would be unwelcome. even if the family can afford it, i don't think it is advisable to leave children to babysitters if the mother can be around to take care of them. as a mom, i would have preferred to stay with my son all the time when he was small if i didn't have to work. children who are always with their moms do NOT always end up as brats. it is up to her to discipline, educate and inculcate values on her child. if she does it right, then her kids will learn well.

I loved having my kids around and like you when they weren't I missed them. Every summer my parents would take all the grandkids for a week....it was always a long week! I hated them being so far away and we did so many family things that it was lonely when they were gone!

Although I would like to be around my children all the time, I don't really think it is possible. I think it is great to give them their space, and let them learn from other people (their teachers) as well. I don't think being around them all the time make them brats. If parents show them, or don't teach them right from wrong, they will still turn out to be brats no matter how much time are spent with them.

Hi, LovingMyBabies! We share the same sentiments. That is actually one reason why I opted to be a stay at home mom. I wanted to be the person to take care of my children and be 100% sure that their needs are very well taken cared of. I would sometimes wish to have a day off for myself or to have sometime alone with my husband. But relying the kids on other people, well, I have done that and I got really disappointed. Most probably the person who said that it was better for kids to be taken cared by babysitters is a person who would rather prioritize her social life than her family life.

Yeah I agree with you that it must be nice that she can afford to have a babysitter that often. It is very hard to find a babysitter that meets our needs. I have been searching for one in the area we just moved to and still haven't found one that I would feel comfortable living my child with. I think that each parent's decision on how they want to spend their time with their children should be respected. If a mother wants to stay at home all the time with her children then that is her decision and her right. I think like you mentioned their needs to be a balance. I would like to get out more than I do now but that doesn't mean that I won't miss my daughter or that when I walk in the door that I will not be happy to see her. And this is coming from me a mother who is usually with my daughter from the time she gets up and until she goes to bed. I think it would be nice if I could find a person like you that has a daycare to watch my daughter for special occasions like date night. My husband and I can't afford to pay someone to watch our child everyday but we can save money for date night so that we can go out once a month.

I disagree. I can see where she is coming from to a point, because I do agree if you are constantly at your childs beck and call, you are doing them no favours, teaching them no indpendance and sometimes especially when they are babies making them strange around other people. BUT that wasn't really what she was saying, she was saying she wants away from her kids.. and thats wrong. Don't have kids if thats the case.

I am baby sitting my granddaughter right now, and I feel she need to be with her mother, she loves being with here mother, when her mother bring her, around me she cried for her mother,and my granddaughter is always asking for, her mommie not her grand mother, and grand daughter just got a job clean apartments, but she doesn't get home until 11:00 at night, this is too much on a 1 year old, she need to be home with her mother, not with here grandmother, I have a life of my own, I can't babysit my grand daughter everyday, and she doesn't even pay me.