I was saddened by what I heard

Wow! That's just traumatizing. I don't think this type of matter could be talked about, she may blame the kid for telling on her. You will never know what goes on when you're not around. Perhaps it's time for you to find someone else. Most nanny's become frustrated and have short tempers when they've been in a family for a long time. Maybe it's called burnout. I suggest you look for another nanny. Have a great mylot experience ahead!

oh my this is something i don't like being done to my kids! I am just quite lucky i guess because my nanny is very nice to my kids but like you if that would happen to me i would also be very troubled but as the parent, you have the right to talk to your nanny as she is being paid and you are the employer. talk to her or else your son will be traumatized. He will be emotionally affected especially if he cannot cry, it is always fine to cry and if he keeps it inside your son might get sick. talk to the nanny NOW.

Maybe your son does need to be spanked occasionally, but that should be your call. You are the employer; your son's nanny is the employee. You make the rules. Your son should not be afraid of his nanny, but he should respect her and obey her when she imposes your rules. I believe that a conference with the nanny is in order. Giver her a chance to tell you what your son is doing wrong and how she is handling it. If you disagree with her methods, let her know respectfully and tell her how you would prefer she handle incorrect behavior. If she is unable or unwilling to abide by your wishes, you have every right to terminate her employmeant.

I guess, your MIL would not fabricate things especially if it concerns about her grandson. Having a nanny around,is to help you in caring for your son's needs and other things especially if you're both at work. All those things doesn't include threatening your son or harming him if he did not follow her orders. I know you respect her because she is much older than you are but the issue here, is your son's upbringing. She does not have the right to harm your son in case he did not follow her or whatever, she is there to help not to instill fear in your son's young mind.

I think that is not a good nanny.. I guess nannies should be nicer, i guess age does not matter since whatever the age, it does not guarantee that the attitude will be good. I think you should just change nannies, a relative would be better- one that'll get along well with your kid not one that will scare him.

Hello asdomencil, actually it would be best if you care for child youself but even if you do not get the time to care for him and your nanny is not fare enough then i would give advice to you please change the nanny. As you are employer no matter she is older then you or she is younger, you are the employer and you are giving her money so just talk to her, tell to her to change herself and to take real care of your baby....

It's nice that you are concerned about respecting the nanny when confronting her. honestly, this is your child. the nanny is working for you and should care for your child the way you want her to. how and when you discipline your child is up to you. thank her for her opinions and suggestions but let her know that this doesn't work for you. your child should not be fearful of the person caring for him and if he is then I would highly suggest you have a serious talk with your child to find out what goes on when your not home. and possibly finding a new nanny or asking family to care for the child while your working.

It is hard to find a nanny who truly loves children. Many are just doing it for money and if this is the case that means they do not like their work. They will be unfriendly to your kids, and they will even maltreat them in many ways most especially when the child can not yet talk. I just hope that you can find a real good nanny for your kid.

I'm sorry u feel this way friend but hang in there! Well for one thing ur son should never ever feel scared or frightened of his caretaker. Nor his parents for that matter. It might be a good idea to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse. Little kids have huge imaginations and tend to make things up in their mind. Talk to them both and observe them see how ur son is with her and see how that goes from there. If u find ur son is lying dont get mad with him. That will be the first big mistake u will make. Just tread carefully. Different ppl handle it differently... The way I would handle this will be to talk to my kid and see what's really going on. If she doesn't want to talk about it then ill give her a few days to let her decide when to tell me. It vareys from kid to kid. If she lies to me saying the nany it her when she didn't then I would explain to her that lying is something we don't do.

if i were your mother-in-law and you were living in my house with the nanny, i won't hesitate talking to the nanny, even if you're the one paying her, because it's my house and it's my grandson who is involved. actually, i'm the same way with my nephews and nieces. some say it's meddling, but i think it's even worse if you don't say and do anything at all when your flesh and blood is involved. who else should be the first to show concern for your son? will your nanny listen to your mother in law?

Don't hesitate if you want to tell something or talk to your nanny because it is your right as a parents to your son, she should not spanked or talk to your son like that as she don't have the right because she is just a nanny not a parents. talk to your nanny in a nice way it will give effect to your son's behavior and attitude if she will continue her way of giving discipline to your son.

It is your son's welfare which is more important here. You have to take actions right away before things would blow out of proportion. You have to talk to the nanny conscientiously and know the whole story but if you fell like uncomfortable having her around your son then it is your decision to let her go.

this is a very serious thing.you must speak to the nanny as soon as possible.it is not about the nanny's old age, it is about you son's mental health.i advise you to quit this nanny before the things become more serious.i have read some news about abnormal nannies,they like to maltreat the babies .maybe your nanny is normal, but nanny is the very closed person to a baby except parents, how can you parents feel at ease when you work out?

As the head of the family, you should not let your son grow up in fear and silence or else it will affect his future. Stand up on your feet and walk up to the nanny regardless of her age and correct her to her face together with your wife. As a nanny she should be good to your son and not mean. i hope this helps. good luck

Does this nanny have children of her own? How old is she? If you have parents , then they can supervise what is going on. There is nothing better than grandparents because they will have love for the child; they may not be able to take full care but if the nanny is there they can easily supervise and do the needful. You can tell the nanny gently that the grandparents will take care when she needs to do something.

It has always been my feeling that if we have any kind of feelings about our child care providers that they are not doing right by our children, then it is time to find a new childcare provider. You can speak with your nanny about the concerns that you have right now. However, if you don't see that things are changing after you've had a discussion with your child care provider, then I think that you should go ahead and start looking now for someone that will be a good fit for your son. Since your son is a child, it is your job as a parent to be proactive when it comes to things concerning your son.

Wow...I would be more than sadden if I thought my child\ was being mistreated... but worrying about how she feels would not be my concern.I would definately would get to the bottom of this and the sooner the better...Its not fair to your child be be bullied by or become coward towards the nanny...Nothing is more important that to make sure your child is not being mistreated...Now it may be the fact that she is strict with him and his parents are not but then you have to decide whats more important to your child and is he being raised in confusion... feelings are not an option when you have mistreated my child..

OMG! I think you must change your nanny, it would be better for your child as per my opinion.

Your child likes his parents better. You guys are less strict and most likely let him get away with a lot more. Often parents think some behaviors are cute or acceptable, where as anyone else would punish the same behavior. If you truely believed that the nanny was abusive in any way there is nothing you need to say except your fired. If you accuse her she will be offended and resent you and your child.