Oma is so annoying omg...

Maybe it's the generation? I know my mother in law is all about kids needing to do as the adults say - suck it up and deal as you said. But still. Oma could have been nicer about it. At least ask her how much pain she was in, or find a place for her to sit if she wanted to continue shopping that badly. Or perhaps look for some Tylenol or something in her purse to help her. It wasn't very cool how she brushed her off like that. I remember my cousin's family took all of us to Lion Country Safara when I was a little kid. It was super hot there, and I was seriously thirsty. I asked my chinsy aunt-by-marriage if I could have something to drink . . . and she told me to swallow my spit. Really? And she meant it - I never got anything to drink! That's just the way she was - and guess what - I never had too much faith in that aunt about anything (not just because of that incident - there were many more). I don't blame Dearra for her rant - I would have felt the same way!

I would have immediately taken her home and head back to the Malls with Naomi to get the shoes. Oma was very insensitive as I can still remember what a period pain felt like - so painful and then all of me just ached and ached.

Dearra should have a pill box in her purse for occasions like this. Grandma should listen, and acknowledge her pain instead of making it all about her. Both should give a little bit. It is not an every day or every month occurrence that they shop for something for a wedding, so maybe D could have been a little more patient. Her anger and anxiety made the pain even worse. Grandma needs to realize that young people are people too. I have waffled all over your discussion, but it just seems to me that both of them could have been more reasonable.

I am a gram. I understand that it is possible that Dearra may not have been clear as to how much pain she was in but she DID say she was in pain. If it were my grandaughter, I would have called it a day and taken her home and either gone back with Naomi or gone out again on a different day. I try to create happy memories with my grandchildren for them as well as myself. Dearra is not going to look back on this day as a fun outing with Gram and worse ...she is apt to remember it as Gram not caring about how she felt. Shame on Oma!

Your ex's mother sounds like a very self-centered woman. Dearra would have been well within her rights to give her an earful. Next time, Dearra should either raise H*** until she gets what she needs or give her father a call and demand that he come and pick her up posthaste. She shouldn't take it out on you, though.

If my granddaughter was in any type of pain and wanted to go home I would have stopped everything I was doing to take her home. Menstral pain is horrible and all you want to do is be in bed. I'm so surprised by her actions being a grandma. Then again I had two grandmas that were not very nice to me. I guess that is why I overdo for my grandkids. Dearra should had been taken home and left the shopping for another day.

I used to bleed a lot in my periods and when I had my renter, she had to stay in bed and could not go out, and was in so much pain when she had her periods. So of course, Dearra should have been allowed to go home. They can shop another day.

Oma should have offered her a Tylenol. And Dearra should have more patience with Oma.

Hello friend, thanks for the discussion. Since I was one of the unfortunate teenagers who suffered with cramps longer than most, I sympathize with Dearra. I had a full 7 day heavy period and pain from before until it ended. However, I also learned that the world really doesn't care if you are in pain, they expect you to manage it. I know no one walks around broadcasting they are on their period and it is embarrassing to say the least just to be in pain. I never had anyone sympathize with me or change any plans because of it. Once I grew up and went out into the working community, I learned they didn't care either and expected you to deal with it regardless of how miserable you were and to do it gracefully and pleasantly. Fortunately, I was like clockwork and knew exactly when to expect it and when to expect it to end. My mom didn't care, it wasn't up to her to keep up with my period and she was so much older than me that when I started having periods she was already past menopause. Perhaps, Dearra needs to keep up with her own body a little better and should have taken whatever was necessary to not destroy anyone else's trip or stayed home. I'm sure her grandma was as annoyed with her as she was with grandma. Grandma probably felt like Dearra was being a drama queen and ruining everything. Grandma has been there, done that, and probably thought it is about time for Dearra to grow up and deal with it just like grandma has had to do all her life. The hard part is for you to be put in the middle of it all because you are mom and daughter. You were right to help Dearra AFTER she got home. But hopefully, Dearra learns the life lesson about taking care of herself better. She has only encountered the first of many times when people will not respond to her pain, whether it be her grandma or some one else. I know many times I had to ask to go sit in the car while others were shopping or taking care of business because I was in so much pain. It is a problematic situation that requires Dearra to grow up and deal with it in a grown up manner. Had she asked to go to the car, perhaps, Oma might have paid more attention. But that might have meant that Dearra put her purchase back which I'm sure would create a quandary for her. Good luck trying to deal with both Oma and Dearra, especially if they both feel they are right.

Poor kid.. yes she should have been brought home!

Saturday sounded good. I think Grandma did fine. Let Dearra be livid. People aren't always going to drop what they are doing and hurry her home because she is in pain. Women all over the world are having periods and running marathons, and who knows what all. She needs to learn now that she might need to think ahead alittle. Take some Tylenol with her or even take some before she goes. Good learning experience. I am all for taking it with you, having some in your purse, taking some before I go cause I have arthritis too.

Poor girl. Yes, she should have taken her home. I hope she feels better soon.

I think she should have been taken home. I don't like seeing people in pain and why should she be made to suffer longer. The shopping centers weren't going anywhere and they could have went back. I am sorry that Dearra was put through this. Things like this stays with a person.

Hi Dawn Is Oma hard of hearing? Your poor daughter she could not of enjoyed the shopping trip at all. I think Grandma should of taken her home and they could of went out another time, isn't this the whole part of shopping to enjoy?

NOt sure on that one but if they hadnt found shoes they wanted should stay but I hate to shop for shoes so I would found A pair fast and wanted to go home but when out with daughter I have to saty till she is done waste of gas going back and forth

I think it was wrong for Dearra to expect that Oma would drop everything and take them home before they were finished. Dearra could have found a quiet place to sit. Maybe she should carry Tylenol in her bag for such occasions or she could have asked to buy some. I think her expectations were bratty butt then again, it could have been hormonal. Either way, she needs to learn to suck things up and be less self absorbed.

It sounds like Oma needs a little bit of a thump. Maybe that will knock some sense into her. Dearra was in pain. She should not have had to explain every stinking detail about it. Pain is pain. Grandma was very insensitive to her granddaughter. I say, shame on Oma. Everyone's experience with pain differs. I had a pinched nerve some years ago and it was the most excruciating physical pain I have ever experienced in my life. I couldn't function at all until I went to the chiropractor. That was my extreme case. I've also had sinus headaches minor body aches and the such. They were not extreme at all and I was able to get around fine. Was Dearra's pain more severe than Oma's arthritis? Maybe. Who knows? The point is that when a person is insensitive to another ones real discomfort, I have a definite problem with that.

ho gosh dawn after rremembering my own cramps as a teen no grandmother should have taken D arra home as those cramps are six times more painful than my arthritis is now,grandmother should have been more sympathetic and offered her some midol,dawn its really hard to suck up that kind of pain when you are a teen maybe an adult could to it but not a teen. Tell her I do feel for her as I used to have them so bad mself. .

My period cramps started when I was 11 yrs old, and they were so bad they were like labour pains. The least she could have done was to offer her some Tylenol or Ibuprofen (whichever works for her) for the pain, since that is pretty much all you can do for it. I was prescribed Tylenol 3's because it was so bad. My mother (the grandmother) was the other way...bleeding heart. She would see something wrong with everything I did, fault me for it and the kids were always innocent in her eyes. Totally opposite. But I still think she should have brought her home. You don't want to be out in public when you are in that much pain, and you are too embarrassed to say why you are in so much pain. Plus, it is in your gut, so the only thing that works (even a little tiny bit) is to double over and wait for the painkillers to work....IF they do. Walking around seems to make it worse, I found.

Any German blood around? I thought Oma is a German word! Atleast that is what I learnt when I was studying German! Now back to your query. Your little girl should have taken it in her stride and finished whatever they had planned for that day. If Oma could put up with her arthritis surely your daughter could too with her problem? Just saying!