Prenuptial Agreements
By bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
Philippines
April 16, 2013 6:22pm CST
During office break, me and my friends talked about prenuptial agreements. I told them about a woman who was not allowed by her family to marry her love unless the guy signs a prenuptial agreement that he will not meddle in any of the business affairs and that the wealth the woman has is not his to spend or share or use. Another one I know, not personally though, is a prominent and wealthy septuagenarian who met a man and decided to get married. The children reacted by telling her that the guy has to sign a prenuptial agreement first.
The discussion elicited differing reactions. A younger friend said that she might sign but not pursue the marriage. Another said that she will sign the papers to prove that she's not after the money because if she backs out the family will think otherwise. The younger friend insist that she will not care about how they think if they think ill about other people.
How do you consider this? Will you marry still someone who will let you file a prenup agreement first?
12 responses
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
Sure(?).. but I don't think I'd like to marry a rich guy. A self-made rich guy, yes, but one who was born into it, I don't think so. It's a very touchy subject for me because I'm the kind who would most likely marry for love and not for money. So it would be kinda hurtful they think I need to sign a pre-nup first because I might be after someone's money. Hey, I make mine. It's not a lot, but I can live with it. 
On the other hand, my practical mind says that it is probably a good idea for rich people to do these kinds of things because fights about money and property are always a headache.
On the other hand, my practical mind says that it is probably a good idea for rich people to do these kinds of things because fights about money and property are always a headache. @bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
the younger friend i mentioned had that conclusion - never marry a rich guy, but i have to tell her that there is a different between a self-made rich guy and one who's born rich. 
i believe there are valid reasons for prenuptial agreements because one cannot just be too complacent about it, especially that it involves money and property. i think it could be understandable that these things are clearly their own family's money and properties that is why there is a need to be extra careful.
on the other hand, at first, one could be taken aback by the condition, especially if one is not born with it (the riches) and simply lives life accordingly. there is a world wide difference even with the rich and the average earning people.
i believe there are valid reasons for prenuptial agreements because one cannot just be too complacent about it, especially that it involves money and property. i think it could be understandable that these things are clearly their own family's money and properties that is why there is a need to be extra careful.
on the other hand, at first, one could be taken aback by the condition, especially if one is not born with it (the riches) and simply lives life accordingly. there is a world wide difference even with the rich and the average earning people. 
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
18 Apr 13
...can also be applied to a rich woman. The same judgement is used on guys marrying females who are loaded.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
17 Apr 13
Dear Ms Bingskee
I feel that such pre nupital agreements, or even the contractual marriages do happen with only a few select people out there in the world... mostly who are extremely rich. The normal people at least here in India are still humane and yes, despite the so many breaking marriages, still, not many consider these contractual things.
To me, though today I am married without any such contract, I might still have agreed in our case if there was any, because I and my wife wanted to be together no matter what. So I guess, it would have been okay, if I had to sign a contract to be with her...
I feel that such pre nupital agreements, or even the contractual marriages do happen with only a few select people out there in the world... mostly who are extremely rich. The normal people at least here in India are still humane and yes, despite the so many breaking marriages, still, not many consider these contractual things.
To me, though today I am married without any such contract, I might still have agreed in our case if there was any, because I and my wife wanted to be together no matter what. So I guess, it would have been okay, if I had to sign a contract to be with her... @bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
contractual marriage... wow, didn't even think of that connotation. i am used to listening to 'contractual work or workers'.
this is not common in the Philippines but there are cases, and they happen among the rich only.
i could agree to sign, too, but knowing the conditions first is important. contracts are meant to be studied and considered with utmost care.
i am used to listening to 'contractual work or workers'.
this is not common in the Philippines but there are cases, and they happen among the rich only.
i could agree to sign, too, but knowing the conditions first is important. contracts are meant to be studied and considered with utmost care.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
17 Apr 13
It depends on what is in the prenup. If it's fair, why not? If it leaves you with nothing even after 30 years of marriage, I think I'd have a problem with it. At a minimum, I'd recommend anybody who is considering signing a prenup have it reviewed by an attorney first.
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
18 Apr 13
And get a second opinion. It's partially a contract and in these documents, loopholes are rampant.
@vandana7 (100280)
• India
17 Apr 13
I would want to...if the guy is richer than me...and has a family...minus wife...then yes...it needs to be signed so that there are no disputes or resentments later on.
I think when a lady marries, she gets a family. It is then obligatory on her part to ensure that nothing unfair happens to her family. In this case, if she keeps the matter open ..chances are that others will suspect her to be marrying for monies, and therefore, they will try to find ways to show she is bad. Differences can crop up with relatives, and at some point of time, with husband because people do communicate. If she truly wants her marriage to last, entering a prenup should be first priority. Children of her husband would not resent her then.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
it is the thing with the in-laws that one has to really be careful of. when the meddling comes, it would truly complicate matters. i believe that if there are really wealth or riches, or properties that were owned by the soon-to-be partner in life before the marriage, it is but right to be really protective about them. it is understandable for me. signing would not be a problem. it's just like putting your toes in one shoes.
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
a pleasant day to you bingskee,
with regard to your post, i will still agree having the thought of prenuptial agreement. and for me its fine, as long as you understand each other. moreso, this is more of a respect to the idea of each wedding party. either it is on the groom side or bride side, signing in a prenup agreement will surely brought a good thing for each. through this way, scenes about separation and assets division will be avoided. as they say, it is for the protection of each party in a husband & wife relationship.
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
18 Apr 13
I'll sign the document and how many dotted lines they like as long as they do the same for me. It's also protection for me and my assets that I bring to the marriage. If the marriage fails, at least I know I won't be wondering how I would live after it. And I don't want my husband to have an entitlement over my assets. Anything that's mine is my business. I know that I'm sidelining the emotional part here but it is a practical document for the modern couple. You just can't assume that everything is rosy and it's happily ever after after the wedding.
Personally, a pre nup for me is a safety net for both parties. Anything else can be conjugal property after that.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
17 Apr 13
I think that people do need some protection in case the marriage fails. If I were young then I would sign one - but there would have to be certain conditions in it first that would ensure that if her left me then I would still have enough money to live on and if I was injured then he would pay all expenses - unless of course, I had remarried
@marguicha (222974)
• Chile
17 Apr 13
I understand that a prenuptial agreement is one of the ways to protect both spouses. After all, marriage is not only and act of love, but an institution. If I had wealth and children with a previous husband, I would certainly make my new partner sign a prenup agreement. In my coutry there are three ways you can marry. You can decide that all your belongings belong to both spouses ( that is usially done when they don`t have much). The second way is to share only from the time they get married (it`s a sort of prenup agreement). In the third, each person has its own money and assets and nothing is shared.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
Yes, although it is not a normal practice here and I might be offended, I think I would still go on with the marriage even if he wants me to sign a prenup agreement. But of course, since I have already signed up that agreement, I also expect his family not to meddle with our married life after that. Whatever my husband earns after the marriage, it would be for us and for our future kids and plans.
@BannedHelsing (693)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
prenuptial agreement are mostly protection especially now that divorce are rampant. haven't you heard about celebrities who paid a lot of money in divorce just because they did not sign a prenup? anyway, if both parties agree to it then it's fine, otherwise, maybe their not meant to be in the first place.
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
17 Apr 13
If I really live the guy, then I would sign one. But I will have to read the agreement and maybe have my own terms amended. Like, when it comes to our would-be children, and in the event of separation I will have custody and he will help out for their education, healthcare, allowances, etc. I can work for myself, but our kids will share in his properties. I don't need all the richness that he's got, except when it will pay for our kids' needs and wants.
@gigi10466 (9)
• United States
17 Apr 13
In some situations I think its appropriate to have a prenup. It protects either/both parties. You can come into the relationship with money (that you worked for or inherited) and want to protect it. I do not feel its fair to have to share money that you had with someone when and if the relationship ends. If they contributed to the bank then they should have what they contributed, nothing more nothing less.
