My Friends Wanted To Borrow My Car
By Sandy
@velvet53 (22534)
Palisade, Colorado
April 16, 2013 8:40pm CST
My friends had their van repossessed on Saturday. They called and asked if I could take them to the store. I didn't mind doing this at all. Then they asked if they could borrow my car until they got a different vehicle. Yes, there is two cars in my household that my son and I both drive and need as our hours are different.
I told them that I wouldn't loan them a car and put myself in a tough position. So they asked if I could take the husband to work in the mornings for three mornings. Like a ding dong I said yes until I realized the hours that he has to work. I will have to get up at 4:30 am to be able to get to their place and have him to work by 6 am. 
That isn't all. She left her wallet in the van when they took it and asked if I could take her one day to get it. I was told that the van was close by where they live so again I said yes. Now I find out that it is 45 miles away. Ugh!
I am now feeling as if they are taking advantage of me. My son is not happy about this at all. He said I should call them and back out. I won't do that after I said yes to them. So I will have to try and go to bed here soon and get some rest.
That isn't all. She left her wallet in the van when they took it and asked if I could take her one day to get it. I was told that the van was close by where they live so again I said yes. Now I find out that it is 45 miles away. Ugh!
I am now feeling as if they are taking advantage of me. My son is not happy about this at all. He said I should call them and back out. I won't do that after I said yes to them. So I will have to try and go to bed here soon and get some rest.7 people like this
21 responses
@sugarboogerbear (70)
• United States
17 Apr 13
And another thing...you should tell them that they will have to contribute towards gasoline. And if they're really your friends and not users, they would offer without you even asking. I couldn't imagine asking someone to put themselves out to that degree (getting up at 4:30am!) and not offer to pay for gas.
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
17 Apr 13
If the situation will cause you some inconvenience, you can tell them about it. There are just people who are just thinking of their own benefit without realizing that they are already causing inconvenience to others.
Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
17 Apr 13
I guess I should of talked more with them. I am the type that feels bad saying no to people. I know they were upset when I said they couldn't borrow a car but they would of had to take the good car. The other car is a stick and she can't drive that. I need reliable transportation for going to one of my job sites. Oh well. It will be over with soon. They are getting a vehicle Friday. Thanks for commenting.
1 person likes this
@sugarboogerbear (70)
• United States
17 Apr 13
You were nice to even take them to the store. You have no reason to feel bad. They're your friends, not your children or anyone else you are responsible for. They are the ones who should be feeling bad for getting their car repossessed in the first place. Not to sound harsh but you touched a nerve. I have been guilty of taking on other people's problems too and people will allow you to do it if you will. Amazingly, when you say no they do find another way to manage. Don't punish yourself for being a responsible person by feeling you're obligated to extend your resources, labor, or time beyond what you are comfortable with. My guess is that on Friday there will be a sob story about how the car didn't come through and can you take him to work a few more days. If I were you I'd have a response ready so as not to be caught by surprise.
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
17 Apr 13
Thanks, sugarboogerbear. Yes, it is their own fault that they don't have a vehicle. They bring in a lot more money than I do a month. And I see how they spend money. These people know what my life style is like and that I get disability and do a few other things to make things meet. They also know how important it is for me to have my time to work on the computer. When I take her to get her wallet I figured I will be losing 3 or more hours of my day. I won't take him to work after Friday. They will have to figure something out.
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
17 Apr 13
It does sound as if they are taking advantage of you. I have been a sucker like that myself in the past. I always tried to think of it as good Karma. You are giving good Karma and you will get it back one day. If they ask for more than 3 days worth of help I would tell them that you are not able to do that. Do the 3 days you bargined for and that is all. I hope they are paying you gas money!
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
Oh my God, I see abuse here. I suggest that you tell them frankly that you cannot do as they have requested because you have your own schedule and your own life. Your son needs the other car and you also need the other one that is why you got two. The help you gave them was enough. It is time to be honest and firm with them or they will keep on bothering you. You can probably drive the husband once to work, but tell them frankly that you are no longer available the next time. Just be honest with them.
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
17 Apr 13
I had already told them that I would take him to work on Thursday and Friday but that is it. She wanted to do other things this morning after we got the stuff from the van and I said no that I had things to do. I also told her I am not available to take her anywhere else. It might of upset her but I won't do anymore.
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
Hi ! I can feel they are taking advantage of your goodness . Don't let them abuse you. You should learn to say no ! Tell them your limitations because some people forget that we have our own limitations and needs. Some people are just so selfish , this kind of people are bit dangerous because the moment you'll say no , they will feel offended .Let us choose right friend.
1 person likes this
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
17 Apr 13
Yes, I need to say no. This morning she wanted to ride with us so she could get cigs. I agreed but told her this was the only morning. That put extra driving and time and I let her know that my time is money to me. I support myself and need that extra time. She was upset but will have to live with it.
1 person likes this
@rocketking (189)
• Singapore
17 Apr 13
If instead of feeling embarrassed with all their requests they are upset about you turning them down, you may want to review your friendship with them anyway. Sorry to be harsh.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
17 Apr 13
Do NOT let them borrow your car! These people sound like moochers and if I'm right on that, they'll take full advantage of your generosity. Instead of trying to get another car, they should be working towards getting their car back that was repossessed. All they need to do is call their lender and work out the details. Since you've said yes to helping them out this time, say no from now on or you will be taken advantage of.
BTW, it's ok to help some people some of the time but not all of the time. They need to learn responsibility without dragging someone else down with them.
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
17 Apr 13
I won't let them use my car. After what she told me this morning I am glad that I didn't. She was telling me all that was wrong with the van and a lot of it was from neglect. She doesn't want the van back because of all that is wrong with it. This is stuff that should have been kept up when they were driving it. Plus, she told me all the places she needed to go. Can you imagine the miles she would of put on my car. They are grown-ups, and yes, they need to act like that. While we were up getting the stuff out of the van she said she was in no hurry to get home. I told her I was and home bound we came.
@o2bnocn (2992)
• United States
17 Apr 13
I know you want to help but it sounds like they might be taking advantage of you. You should explain the situation. It is very unfair for you or your husband to wake up at that time in the morning. There are some people that will take advantage of you, and think you owe them just because you have more. I think that you should help them when possible but not let them take advantage.
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
17 Apr 13
I talked to her today and told her I will finish what I said I would do but no more. It is their own fault that they lost the van. The payment should have been more important than some of the things they have bought lately. They got a nice chunk from income tax and they should of set aside some money.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
17 Apr 13
Well you said you would take them so I guess you have to keep your word because they are counting on you. However, I hope you are having them pay for gas at least. That is alot of driving and gas money. If this continues you need to say "I can't keep doing this because its taking away from my sleep and I too have to work." Just tell them "can you find someone else because I'm exhausted and can't continue to do this." If they are real friends they will understand.
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
18 Apr 13
Yes, I will keep my word to them. They are suppose to give me gas money Friday morning. I am keeping my fingers crossed. The trip today used a lot of gas not to mention time. I was out in cold blowing snow taking the tags off the van and helping her empty the van. It will all be over Friday, thank goodness.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
I can see that they are taking advantage of your kindness.
Waking up early in the morning and adjusting your time is really tough.
I don't think I can ever do that to any of my friends.
I can't remember giving such hard time with any of my friends.
I know I had been asking favor from my friends, but not to the extent of taking advantage.
I also understand that you can't backed out and dishonor your word- and for that you're such a great friend
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
27 Apr 13
Don't you just hate when things like that happen? LOL. Look, I have dealt with people like that. But if you take a look at the big picture here, the minute you said yes, you were in for whatever happened. You son is right, I have to say. But I also understand why you won't back out of this. I bet you now cannot wait to move. Well, you said it would be for 3 days. If it lasts longer then that, then I would say something.
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
27 Apr 13
Once the three days were over with and they got their new van I still got calls. The van broke down and is still broke down. She calls almost every day to see if I can run them around. I just told her that I can't do it that it was taking to much of my time away. I haven't heard from her today, YET.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
17 Apr 13
well you definately don't have an extra vehicle sitting around
waiting for someone to drive it...I really don't think that they
are trying to take advantage of you...It just probably that
they really don't have anyone that they can really depend on
doing this for them...but I would definately let them know I
truly didn't know the time I had to get up to take the hubby\
to work but since you agreed you will do it... just let them
know that it will not happen next week so they can try to make
other arrangements....You are a good friend so don't feel used
just be grateful that you are able to do what you agreed to do.
@Kathy1981 (157)
• United States
19 Apr 13
I did the same thing for a friend when her car was in the pawn shop. When I found out that she pawned it to have a nice evening with her boyfriend and wanted me to take her two kids to school all week. Pick them back up and take her to work and back for a week. I was mad. But I had already told her YES. So I did it and got even madder when I found out from her day care provider that she would have taken the kids to school and picked them back up. She did not want to pay her extra. i guess we all live and learn in life.
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
20 Apr 13
I would have been mad also. I can't believe she pawned her car for a good time with her boyfriend when she has kids that she should have been thinking of. 
It is so sad how some friends take advantage of us. I sure learned a lesson and will be on my guard from now on.
It is so sad how some friends take advantage of us. I sure learned a lesson and will be on my guard from now on.
@supunudayantha (32)
• Malaysia
18 Apr 13
Then they asked if they could borrow my car until they got a different vehicle.
Now I find out that it is 45 miles away.Ugh! I am now feeling as if they are taking
So they asked if I could take the husband
@AmbiePam (92711)
• United States
17 Apr 13
They are definitely taking advantage of you, but good for you for keeping your word. However, you are not tied into doing anything else for them. Next time they asked for you to take them anywhere I'd say no, I have something else going on. And if I didn't really have something else going on, I'd find something so I'd really be telling the truth! 
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Apr 13
hi velvet I also have a hard time saying no but she sure has you in a tight spot indeed. But you sound like me as if I promise someone something I will do it even if its a real hardship for me.But when she asked you to go 45 miles out of your way to retrieve her wallet I think she is really overstepping the bounds,.
iI hope she does think about giving you some gas money in repayment.
I am with your son on this one velvet.,
I am with your son on this one velvet.,@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
17 Apr 13
I guess I should of thought about it before I gave them an answer. But they were both right there in my car and I felt like I needed to let them know one way or another. She said she can give me gas money Friday morning. We are suppose to go get the wallet tomorrow but they are predicting storms for the next two days. I don't mind driving in that weather but I don't unless I absolutely have too. She may be on hold until Friday.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
17 Apr 13
It's three mornings, right? So do the three mornings, and then get firm with them...
@marguicha (222994)
• Chile
17 Apr 13
I think it is wise to learn how to say no. And to think before saying yes to anything. I think that your friends should not have asked all that, but you should have said no to them. I am sure that there are other ways they could have managed. And even if they can`t rent a car for those days (an option), they should have got help from several friends then so that you could help them one day and another one the next day. When I had my chemo, I had the help of several friends who took turns to stay by me until I realised that I needn`t bother them. But it was a day each.
@velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
17 Apr 13
You are so right, my friend. They could have gotten help like you said from different people. I learned a valuable lesson and will be a little wiser if this ever happens again. I have no one to blame but me. The one thing I am kicking myself the most over is my work time.
@cherigucchi (14876)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
Well, obviously you are right! You are such a good friend but you should know when to call it quits. Aren't they ashamed of themselves for putting you much into that stress? If they really are your friends they should also show some concern.
@emily7339 (1337)
• Malaysia
17 Apr 13
Sometimes we need to learn to say "no" to people 
. It is not proper to land ourselves in hot soup if we are not convenient to help the person. It has nothing to do with selfishness. Everyone has their own livelihood to take care of 
. And if it is within our means to help, then it will not be a problem. They could have rent a car for a few days if they could not get help. I will be very reluctant to cause others inconvenient 
.
. It is not proper to land ourselves in hot soup if we are not convenient to help the person. It has nothing to do with selfishness. Everyone has their own livelihood to take care of . And if it is within our means to help, then it will not be a problem. They could have rent a car for a few days if they could not get help. I will be very reluctant to cause others inconvenient . @velvet53 (22534)
• Palisade, Colorado
17 Apr 13
I could never ask a friend to borrow their car for a few days. I can walk or take the bus if I don't have a car. Yes, I do need to learn to say no. I guess when I realized how early I would have to get up then I started really thinking about it. I am used to staying up late and getting up between 6 and 7. I bet my days will be messed up for a bit.:)
