Always the last to know
By Paper_Doll
@Paper_Doll (2373)
Philippines
April 17, 2013 6:57pm CST
My husband told me last week that he was invited to attend an art/painting exhibit in Manila, organized by his uncle and his group, to take some photos. Since he will be accompanied by his mom and some relatives, I told him I will just be sleeping at my parents' house that night because I really do not want to be alone in our house.
So yesterday, I was already on my way home when he called and told me they were at the exhibit. So it was the day he was talking about last week... I was disappointed that I couldn't talk. He should have told me earlier so I would have taken the train going to my parents home instead.
It was passed midnight when he arrived with his cousin. Since I was not talking, he already knew I was mad at him. He was thinking that I felt that way because he went to the exhibit and that he came home late. He was thinking that I am becoming too possessive and close minded to think that way. I got more disappointed. All I was asking was for him to inform me that it was the day so I could have prepared myself as well. Is it that hard to send even a single SMS to inform me that he was leaving? I don't think so. In fact, I do not understand why should I be the last one to know when I am his wife?
Have you had the same experience in the past where you think you will be directly involved and affected by a situation yet you were only informed about it when it was already happening?
Thanks in advance for sharing.
5 responses
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
18 Apr 13
Hi Paper, I just don't think that you were being unreasonable
in your request...I think that your hubby's mind was just so caught
up in him and his exhibit that your request was just not on his
mind...Now I am not making excuses for him because I do think
that he was really wrong..but God forbid if something had happened
at the home while he was away and you were home alone...He would
have never forgiven himself...But thats why people need to think
outside the box sometimes....The wonderful outcome was that you
survived home alone and nothing happened...but it seem like he
still dosen't get it....WOW!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
Thank you, you really said it right. This is not the first time that it happened so I am quite disappointed last time. I would just try to understand that he was busy that time so he forgot to inform me. 
That is actually hard to understand because do husbands normally forgot that they have wives at home waiting? 
But yes, I am thankful that nothing bad happened while I am alone at home. I was not able to mention that our gate's lock was broken few days ago but thank goodness that it is already fixed.
That is actually hard to understand because do husbands normally forgot that they have wives at home waiting? But yes, I am thankful that nothing bad happened while I am alone at home. I was not able to mention that our gate's lock was broken few days ago but thank goodness that it is already fixed.
@BannedHelsing (693)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
At least he told you about the plan a week earlier. You know that he will be leaving, right? or have you forgotten? In my opinion, both of you are in fault. You should have known your husband's schedule since he told you about it a week earlier. And he should have at least informed you before he left. A peace and make up is in order, I think.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
Yes, he told me it is next week so I told him to tell me the exact date so I could just spend the night to my parents' home. The thing is he did not update me anymore so I just learned that it was the actual day when he was there already and am already on my way home. If he even inform even through SMS that morning that it was the day, I should have taken the train to my parents' home and not the bus going to our home.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
Yes, he told me it is next week so I told him to tell me the exact date so I could just spend the night to my parents' home. The thing is he did not update me anymore so I just learned that it was the actual day when he was there already and am already on my way home. If he even inform even through SMS that morning that it was the day, I should have taken the train to my parents' home and not the bus going to our home.
@BannedHelsing (693)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
Your husband is a little irresponsible. Now I see why you're so upset.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
18 Apr 13
Hey paper_doll,
i do understand what you mean. Although i'm currently single but i think i was in a relationship for the past 6 years and therefore i totally understand what you mean.
My ex-boyfriend also does that sometimes and i feel really frustrated by it becuase as his girlfriend, i do not want to be the last one to know. You are right, what is so difficult about just telling or sending a simple SMS is very easy.
However, maybe you should think of this issues from another angle too. Perhaps he feel that it is a small matter and it just slipped him mind for a while. I'm just curious if this is a very common occurance?
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
Yes, it happened a few times already and thank goodness that nothing bad happened. It is alright if he went out and my inlaws are in their house which is a few walks only they come our house once in a while everyday but the thing is they were all gone. I have already talked to him about it, and told him it wouldn't take even a minute to send an SMS.
@tinayu (214)
• China
19 Apr 13
i know your feeling.my husband is not a careful man while i am a very sensitive woman. so i am usually mad at him.for example, one day morning, he told me that he would come back to supper this evening. that meant i would prepare supper for him.in the afternoon,i began to prepare as i didn't good at cooking at that time.at last, i nearly took three hours to prepre a big supper for him.but until 6 o'clock he had not come back yet.i called him,he rejected, i sent a message to him, he didn't reply.i was very disappointed and wanted to quarrel with him terriblely.at 7.30,he came back and told me that he had to attend a meeting temporarily and he didn't have a chance to tell me what happened. he was so resonable that i couldn't angry with him.i only could angry with myself.there are many similar things happenning in my life.i am always the last to know.but what can i do? i know he loves me.i need to understand him.
@myadvice (52)
•
18 Apr 13
yes such situation arises n i know u feel so humiliated. u must express ur anger rather than keeping mum n keep urself boiling. bothways u r at loss.u see.when u express ur anger he will not repeat the same mistake again.lack of communication adds to further worsening situation.this is what is happening with u ,isnt it?
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
Actually this isn't the first time it happened. There was a time that I arrived home and it was locked. When I tried to contact my husband, that was the time that I learned that they went malling and he was telling me to just follow them. But because I have already passed that mall already and was tired from working all day plus the long travel to go home, I told him I would just be staying at home and wait. Well, actually if he informed me ahead of time I would definitely stop at that mall. I have already raised this issue before and am very disappointed that he didn't listen. I think that, like you said, I would need to talk to him again and make this thing clear for both of us. Thank you for sharing thoughts, I appreciate it.
