I want his undivided attention

Thank you very much for your response! I feel better already. I was worried I might have come out immature. But I guess we can say the situation was handled well. We didn't fight at least but I was in a sour mood afterwards which lead to me working out with vigor.(when I get angry I exercise to let out my frustration) yeah, it's really unfair. I'll be patient. However, if this happens too often, I will be more firm to warn him.

I try not to miss him too much but it just can't be helped. I'm always at home doing nothing so I am not as busy as he is. I'm planning to get busy soon with work. He's got plans for our future and he is working on things that will help us attain our future. I am completely supportive with that. But I would rather he's away than be with me and not really into me.

It will take time, and now your boyfriend is right because he is looking forward, time is not just to pass but also to prepare. You are supportive but you are into it too from your heart, so be happy and continue with your current position, you have your part to do.

@Aja103654 yes just tell him what you have told us and he will understand

LOL I am important to him. But there are times that he is too caught up with his activities he becomes oblivious to my feelings. I make sure to let him know if he's made a mistake.

Hello? We've been together for more than 5 years. Isn't the point of being together preparation for marriage? Why not start practicing now? Do I have to wait till we are married to want his attention like this? No, you can do whatever you want. You don't *have* to do anything. But my experience is, the last thing you want to do is act like you are married, when you are not married. Males don't respond well to that, in general. Yes, there's a few here and there, but if he hasn't put a ring on your finger within about 1 year, generally that is because he has no intention of doing so. Now honestly, if you think you know better, go for it. But I've been around men my whole life. I know what how they think, and what they say to other men, when the women are not around. If that experience means nothing to you, and you've got it all figured out, go for it. But dating is not for practicing for when you get married. Dating is when you figure out if the other person is worth marrying, and if yes, then you do it. For thousands of years, men and women, didn't practice for marriage. They got married, and learned how to live together married. Oddly, in the past old fashioned way of doing things, the vast majority of marriages succeeded. Today with the new and improved method, most fail. You choose which system you think is better. I should be more than a girl friend. He's promised to marry me after all. Words words words. He said some stuff. You are thinking about this like a woman. He is not a woman. He is a man. Not a woman. Words don't mean JACK to a man. To a man, what matters is not words, it's actions. I don't care if he promised you the moon. Did he put a ring on your finger? Has he set a wedding date? Did he even directly propose to you yet? Look, you don't have to believe me, and I'm not trying to make you mad. How would that benefit me? I'm just telling you how I see it. When I read what you posted, that guy is acting like you are a girl friend. Just a girl friend. If he has given you a ring, and has proposed, and has set a wedding date, then I would seriously wonder what his problem is. Otherwise, he is acting like a typical guy with a girl friend. But if you know men so well, and you know better than me, great. Good luck. Hope it works out.

Hello? We've been together for more than 5 years. Isn't the point of being together preparation for marriage? Why not start practicing now? Do I have to wait till we are married to want his attention like this? And for your information, I did give him plenty of time for himself, plenty of space for him. I don't even call him or text him so I won't be a bother to him. I told him to call whenever he is free and naturally, that should have his 100 percent attention if he decides to call me. Have you ever been in a relationship like this at all? You don't seem to understand. I should be more than a girl friend. He's promised to marry me after all.

hello andy. youre still as passionate about your responses as ever. relax. :) no need for pressure, people vary in their needs and expectations and we will all give what we can at our own pace and at our own ability.

It was hard to contain my annoyance. Thank you for understanding jenny. I think I have done all I could to be the supportive girl friend he needed and this is what I get? A half-hearted conversation? I'm not tolerating that. I told him right away what I truly felt.

@Aja103654 no that was r ude of him no way around that if I c all someone I give them my undivided attention not share it withy two other people.

I meant there is nothing wrong with multi tasking. I didn't like that he kept talking to other people on the phone without even saying excuse me. It would have been fine if he did talk once and then returned to me but he kept greeting people around him. It is very impolite. I can only tolerate he would talk to his mother or family, but other people? not so. thanks, girl!

@Aja103654 I would ask him why he thinks it is okay to share that phone call wity other people as it looks like he feels anything goes as its just you, you will understand and iu would tell him life does not work that way if he loves you he needs to cut out the side chatter and show co mplete attention

I already told him. He made up for it by visiting me and giving me his full attention then. Still, I have not completely forgiven him because he does this many times. I just set it aside for now because he does have a lot of things to deal with, I don't want to add to his problems even when I'm angry with him. Like I said, I don't want to be the bad guy because I am the victim here. If I behave badly, It would be my loss.

It is good to hear that matter has since been sorted out and now you have no complaint with him.

well, he did understand and we ended the conversation there. I was a little pissed but it's better we don't talk than talk without his full attention. He visited me last night and then gave me his undivided attention.

He's not afraid. If he were I wouldn't waste my time on him. He promised to marry me in the future. I mean, it's a good thing to look forward to. We share the same goals more or less.

We haven't seen each other for weeks. I didn't even bother him so he can fully work on those important things he is doing. Isn't it natural to at least have even a brief conversation on the phone with his full attention? He can always go back to doing things when the conversation is over. I respected his time, is it so bad to want him to respect my time too? He's the romantic type and he's also practical. I don't hate practicality. But there's time for everything.

In that case tell him what you feel about this.

I unconsciously let myself turn numb to his absence. When we meet he complains about me being called and not taking him for granted. Stupid me. Why did I let him have his way? Whatever.

LOL, thank you for your response!

Breaking up was too much, but then maybe it would for the best especially if a guy has no time for you? It would eliminate unnecessary frustrations in both your lives. Some people think they are being efficient when they do things simultaneously. But are those jobs done well enough? Relationships are not something you can take for granted and put in line with other jobs. it's a thing that needs to separated from all those tasks. It's not like those tasks have feelings right?

Correct..those jobs can wait without any objection..

yeah, he is preoccupied. Very preoccupied. I guess I'm not as involved with his life as I was back then and I miss those times.

Yes. it was very frustrating. I'm thankful that he is more attentive to me now. He passed the exam! Thank you for responding!

It's not about him not calling. i can understand he doesn't call me because he is busy. Just that when he calls me at least he focuses on me. That time should set for me. If he decides to use his time on me, then he should give his 100%. When he does this, it's like he is trying to convey he is so busy I am lucky he is calling me. I don't want that. I would rather imagine I don't have a boyfriend than think of a boyfriend who doesn't give me attention. haha, I did tell him to call me later if he was not gonna pay attention to me anyway. It's wasting my time. So he said I love you then called back the next day to come over to my place. That's it. But this time, i'll warn him if he does that again and I can't contain my feelings and hung up immediately, he'll know why.

Yeah. Obviously, his mind was not on me at the time. he is so caught up with his life and with himself and sometimes it can be too much and he bores me with his talk. That's what I thought. I was taken for granted just because I am around and will welcome him because I am not busy at this time. I was doing a lot of things at home and he is disturbing me by taking up my time and not giving me much attention during the call. It's an insult! LOL, attentive guys? I don't need guys for attention. I'd rather eat a potato chip

Excuse me? Listen to my babbling? That sound so wrong. I'm not trying to change him. I'm only asking for things a good girlfriend deserves: RESPECT.

I know he has reasons, but I find them invalid. LOL, make him relax? Allow him to relax? Oh, I've done that. I leave him alone to relax and not call or text him because I don't want to seem clingy and demanding. I simply waited for him to call me. But here he is, calling and not giving his full attention. What a let-down! I've been very understanding to him. I doubt any other girl would be as supportive! He's dang lucky to have me! If it were another girl she'd be crying and demanding like a lunatic!! But did I behave like that? No! So if he can't be the man who deserves me, I don't have to waste my time on him. It's a good thing that he redeems himself every time he makes a mistake.

LOL! Thank you tinayu. Well, I have many other interests. And I am okay with my boyfriend having many interests. i think it makes him adorable to have passion in life other than me. Because I am like that, I don't want me to be everything in his life. Just that, when he has time for me, at least, he should forget about other things for just awhile and focus on me. he can always return to those tasks whenever we are not together.

Actually I find your food reference good. I like food. That's exactly it. The word is SIDE DISH. We don't have enough time together to get to talk about things. we usually cuddle to make up for lost time and I often forget to be stern to him.