I don't know you, but that's not it.

People are just trying to be helpful usually, but sometimes the things that come out of their mouths are just stupid.

Yeah.. that would annoy me too. Let's see.. just today someone assumed I was like 18 years old.. because I mentioned graduation. They said I'm now entering the real world. Well.. if the real world isn't what I've been in thus far, then I welcome any changes it may bring!!

Some people can be insensitive and some don't realize they're overstepping their boundaries. I commend you for not getting upset over their dumb questions! I don't know if I could or would. I mean like, DUH?.... Yeah! How else would you know she has what she has?! Besides, it can happen at ANY age because it's a disease that doesn't discriminate.

For those who haven't dealt with dementia, I suppose that such things sound reasonable. Well, not really... but we'll pretend. We are dealing with my future MIL's dementia here. I know that there is more that I would like to do... to try... We know what caused the dementia to speed up with her. We question what we could do to improve how she is. It's difficult to do much about diet and exercise when she doesn't live with us, nor is she right next door to us. However, this has been a complicated situation from the beginning. Your mother is quite young to have such advanced dementia. I think that people have a hard time accepting that someone so young could suffer irreversible dementia.

It is sad but sometimes people just come out with the silliest things as they do not either believe it or want to reassure themselves that everything may be okay. My sister experienced this when she lost the sight in one eye due to an embolism. People and friends would tell her not to worry as the sight may come back or again they would ask when was her sight coming back? I know that you and your family have done everything possible for your mother and she is treated like a Queen

Not so much like you. I hate when people throw God into the picture all the time and suggest that if you just pray hard enough you will be well or your loved one will be well. And if you're loved one isn't well then it is you who is in the wrong and not that God didn't take care of the problem. It's not that I didn't go to the doc, it's that I prayed 'amiss'. This is according to some well meaning Christians. Like they believe mental illness is not an illness at all but a spiritual attack. I get bombarded with churchy ignorance that is also annoying.

I think that it is very insulting for those people to even comment on the state and well being of your mother. Unless they are a doctor or another close family member that is actively involved in the life on you and your mother. While it is rare for this disease to show symptoms early in life, its not un-imaginable. Things happen in different time for everyone.

yes some people make you feel like a child, and when you say why wouldn't you think we wouldn't take mom to the doctor. They get all huffy saying things like you don't have to be snarky about it I was just trying to help. I get that all the time and I hate it as much as you do.

When I tell people my mother has early on-set dementia they ask how old she is. When I say 88 they say it's not early on-set dementia. EARLY ON-SET means it's the beginning and will get worse. It also isn't just due to her age, which is what I am constantly hearing. She has been to a Gerentologist (that's an old people's doctor) and was asked to name her grandchildren, count backwards, remember things mentioned earlier in the conversation, etc. The doctor diagnosed her with early on-set dementia and put her on medication to try and slow the short-term memory loss. I had her here for Christmas and it was terrible. She would ask the same questions over and over and over again. It's not just because of her age. So I know what you mean. I get frustrated with people contradicting me.

I certainly empathize with you. I have had the same experience in regards to depression. People throw around the word "depression" like it's nothing. Who among us hasn't heard people moan "Oh I'm SO depressed" when they are really just sad, angry, tired, frustrated, what have you. I've read countless discussions and been part of many conversations where people will tell you that if you just "think happy thoughts", "go for a walk," "get some fresh air," etc., that you won't be depressed any more. My own mother, the first time I was diagnosed, said to me, "You have beautiful children, a wonderful home, a good husband... what on earth do YOU have to be depressed about??!!" I was never more hurt in my life. Mental illness is not something people can see. If we had a broken limb, people could see the cast and would understand the injury. When the situation is internal, many don't get it. I hope you find the strength to ignore the ill-informed and continue on the path of providing great care for your mom.

I know what you mean! And just to fill in a gap I know several people who are as young or younger then your mom who have dementia! I know about the questions too...my boss is one of those who asks stupid questions. I have worked at the same place for 28 years and called in sick twice....the one time I called in I was so sick I almost passed out after going to the bathroom (I had the flu)...and had to crawl back to the couch. When I called in she said...are you sure you're sick? You know that if you tell me you threw up I can't have you come back to work for 24 hours after the symptons subside....." Seriously? I am puking etc and she wants me to say I am okay. I didn't go back to work for a couple of days because I needed that time to get better! She kept saying....are you sure? Dah!

Doesn't it amaze you? People ask the dumbest questions sometimes and I do see this all the time on myLot. I go through the discussions and start reading the responses and I'm like...... And I've already had some pretty silly responses to my own discussions which are not half as serious as yours. It just really does amaze me. I just say to myself "Do you really think I would do that?" or "Don't you think I did that?" or the worst one of all is..."DID YOU READ THE DISCUSSION?"...haha. I guess they're all trying to be helpful but really...sometimes it's just common sense to figure out the answer. I feel like you do sometimes though...just dismayed.

I have had people say ignorant things to me in the past. I think the problem is that a lot of people do not think before they speak. I doubt most people mean it to be insulting.

hi AmbiePam you are getting the dementia police like I have gotten the diabetes police.,People who do not know beans about how diabetics are supposed to eat yet they will ask me "Are you sure you should eat that?"Usually its a dessert or fruit of some sort. Now I just say" Thanks for your concern but yes I am going to eat that." ANd too I have had people ask " You are overweight should you not see your doctor?" THis I will now get mad and say " I am under a doctors care but you should be seen by a manners expert as you need to learn some manners." That does send them off quickly indeed. You need to have some come backs to these people who think they know more than you about Dementia,. I FIND IT VERY OFFENSIVE THAT THEY THINK YOU HAVE NOT BEEN TO A DOCTOR with your mom.How can people act so snotty? I still get those questions "You cannot eat that? You should not drink that asyou have diabetes?: I told this lady that "surprise I did not know I had diabetes, How did you find that o ut ?" ojimn a really snotty voice.That e made her run to her car. I guess I did embarrass her. And those who tell m e what to eat I now say "I thank you but yes I do not eat that as I never did like that so yes I will eat this as I do like it. Take yourself off to the library and read on what people with diabetes are allowed to eat before you lecture me again." that one does work so hope you get some retorts to use against the Dementia police who question you all the time.I really think those people are really way out of line.

i believe there are comments like this to me before but i guess i often choose to ignore it rather than piss me off..but there was a time when there was this girl i know who ALWAYS complain she has migraine but does not seem like she have, i know what migraine is and i know HOw painful it gets especially with very bright lights on and she is with bright lights on and it gets annoying complaining from her about that.