Think Before You Marry :)
By lizziegee
@lizziegee (297)
Philippines
April 19, 2013 1:10am CST
My parents married really young. My mom was 16 and my dad was 18 when they tied the knot. She wasn't pregnant, but they eloped for three days so my maternal grandparents demanded that they had to get married as soon as possible. I believe it took only three weeks and they had the wedding. They never got an annulment and neither are they legally separated, but they don't get along very well now. They have different lives of their own and do not meddle with each other's affairs, but still live under one roof. But of course, they don't share the same room or bed anymore.
I got pregnant at 20, but my parents didn't demand for a wedding right away. Even if we wanted so much to get married, my mom didn't give me the consent. I guess she didn't want me to suffer the consequences of getting married for the wrong reasons. I also never believed that just because you got pregnant means you should get married. But now, we have two kids already, and the wedding is finally due next year. I am sure I want to get married, not just for the kids, but because we love each other and we're sure we want to spend our lives together.
What do you think should be reasons for marriage? Do you even believe there should be reasons?
3 people like this
11 responses
@quieley (316)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
It's important to think about your future and the consequences. My parents and your's have the same story. They eloped, and after 3 years they broke up. I don't think you will end up like your parents if you choose to marry the guy. What will happen after the wedding depends on the couples decisions and choices. There are people who get married during their thirties or forties, but they didn't end up together. I think, age doesn't matter as long as both of you are ready.
1 person likes this
@lizziegee (297)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
I agree with you guys. Age doesn't matter. I believe that what matters is that both parties are emotionally, spiritually, and financially ready. If you both believe that the love you have is something that could iron out the kinks and defy the odds, then go for it. Right?
1 person likes this
@babyeve (1048)
• Seychelles
19 Apr 13
Before marrying someone, you should make sure that your partner has a sense of humor. Find out all the bad habits of your partner and if you you can get used to it as well. You must live with your partner for a while to see how you two get along when it comes to actually to living with the person you are planning to spend your whole life with.
@lizziegee (297)
• Philippines
20 Apr 13
Yes. I guess you're talking about living together first before making things legal and official. We did that. :) We lived together when I got pregnant until he left to work overseas last year. All good, so we're tying the knot next year. :)
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
19 Apr 13
I'm not sure about reasons to get married. You get married because you want to spend the rest of your lives together because you love each other that much. This is why I believe in living together before marriage to make sure you know what you are getting into. I was suppose to get married years ago once I had gotten pregnant but I ended up calling it off because I never wanted my then boyfriend to tell me I married you only because you were pregnant. Nor did I want to get married and then end up getting divorced. So I didn't marry him and I ended up with a second child. I left him when my girls were 7 and 10 because he was cheating on me and I knew I deserved better. I made the right decision not to marry him in the first place. Now I have been in this second relationship for 25 years with no regrets at all.
@lizziegee (297)
• Philippines
20 Apr 13
We did that living together before marriage. Everything went really good, but he had to leave last year for better opportunities abroad. We manage to always work things out, iron out the kinks here and there, and totally take each other all the way-- including the faults, misgivings and shortcomings. I can't wait for the wedding! :)
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
22 Apr 13
Honestly, I got married soon after I gave birth to my eldest. I got pregnant without anyone knowing about it coz my tummy was a bit small, plus I never had pre natal care and I was even trying to lose weight that time thinking that I was just getting fat. I had irregular periods which made me think that it was impossible for me to get pregnant.
Having been married now for 19 years, I do think sometimes that we should have waited and made ourselves better for one another. But despite all the troubles we've had, I still believe that it will always be him that I would be until I die.
@lizziegee (297)
• Philippines
22 Apr 13
Hi Jenny! Congratulations for a happy marriage. :) I believe you must be really inlove with each other that'w shy you got married in the first place, not only because you were pregnant. If my parents followed our decision, we would also have gotten married right then and there. But I'm still happy we waited, because we have the chance now to share our wedding with our beautiful daughters. :)
@swamiaks (22)
• India
20 Apr 13
As I have seen and studied, marriage is just a way of getting and staying with one whom you care and who care you. If there is no love between the two who are going to get married, it will be just a relation without feelings.Such relation never brings a fruitful result.It is said that Marriage is made in heaven but our culture and custom bring spoil of it.
@lizziegee (297)
• Philippines
20 Apr 13
Like everything else, getting married should always be upon your own choice and free will. I believe that you shouldn't let anybody force you into it, because if you do and things don't work out, you will suffer the most.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
Married at 16? Is that even allowed?
Anyway, you get married because you feel that your partner is the right person for you and you want to spend the rest of your lives together. I think the reason for getting married is the willingness to make a lifelong commitment of love, trust and respect. Although there are some who would want to get married because of pregnancy or whatever but I don't believe in that. You shouldn't be forced to marry just because something happened.
Congratulations in advance! :)
@lizziegee (297)
• Philippines
20 Apr 13
Yeah, at their time, as long as your parents give their consent, you could get married at that age. Marriage indeed is a commitment, and you both have to meet halfway to survive. There is no room for turning back. I wanted to get married for the right reasons, for love.
Thanks! :)
@lizziegee (297)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
It varies for some people, I guess. The bottom line is that you choose whatever makes you happy and whatever you believe and feel will be best for you. :)
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
hi liz,
There are people who believe that marriage is important to save the girl's dignity way back before this really happen but as of today some people don't demand for it specially if they are not capable of handling the cost of marriage. They call it practicality even I will get pregnant and that will be the reason to get married I don't think I will allow it to happen I want to get married because we both want it and not because of the other reasons.
happy mylotting
@lizziegee (297)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
You're right. We shouldn't get married just because we have to. We should get married because we want to. :)
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
26 Apr 13
I guess you are right. I believe that couples must be married because they choose to be married and they want and love each other. I believe in the blessing of marriage and you are right, I totally agree with you and your mom. It is not a guarantee that if you got pregnant you also need to get married.
@lizziegee (297)
• Philippines
20 Apr 13
I agree with you. Some people jump to marriage as if it's a very simple thing, which it is not. Marriage is a complex stage, but when you both work on it and if you both believe you're ready for everything that goes with it, then go, take the plunge! :)
@channabandara (56)
• Sri Lanka
19 Apr 13
this is wonderful discussion are you satisfied about this married.. i think this is best solution i dont have about married life because i'm still unmarried..i think your are parent are really wory about you forget what happens before think about future . now you have big responsibility..make good future for your new family ... thank you have nice day
