… Agree to disagree, what’s next?
By jeanneyvonne
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
Philippines
April 19, 2013 6:03am CST
Been working with a co-worker which seems to be the have the exact opposite of me. Usually, we could go on and on about ideas and methods but at the end of the day, we need to come together to make something out because that’s what we are paid for. More often than not, we agree to disagree on meetings and at some times, we manage to pull through some teamwork effort. However these days, my apprentice is waning even though I try as much as I can to understand that she is talking about. I have lessening patience and tolerance because she often sees her way and nothing else. I can switch for motor coworker because being the boss isn’t looking for a new hire. Even with a new face and name, I don’t think it might work. The workday often ends with me me with a very tired disposition. Thank God it’s the weekday tomorrow and I don’t have to deal with her for the moment.
So, in a matter of a disagreement, how should the two of us resolve our disagreements and actually do something?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@ashishjayaswal (18)
•
20 Apr 13
disagreement may convert things into worst, be confident and be clear in making your point in front of her. Take some ideas with some statistics and all and then present. I am sure that this will surely reduce your problem after sometime. And at the same time you should be a good listener too and listen her what she is saying and reply accordingly. Do some research on the things what she says whether its wrong or right discuss the do's and dont at the last. Hope this would help you somehow. But BE CONFIDENT and BELIEVE YOURSELF should be the key points to remember in these situation. TC.
1 person likes this
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
This situation paints me a picture of a debate and/or discussion on online forums. Might take for better or for worse.
1 person likes this
@shaoyangdl (2)
• Melbourne, Australia
20 Apr 13
try to talk to her ! everyone may have someone you don't like but must face everyday. The only way is to take it easy yourself,, to understand the reason why you still work there. Maybe that's not easy to let you talk to her, but you can change your mind, seem her as the customer or the one you need to bare~
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
I try. I just don't know how I come across to her that makes her really opposed to what I want to say.
1 person likes this
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
Sometimes,I am already compromising. i don't think she sense that i ma already giving her some consideration.
1 person likes this
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
20 Apr 13
Sounds like my sister works with you. She is the same way. Try and work together there... will make it so much easier for you.
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@smiling_ja (261)
• Philippines
20 Apr 13
Have you tried looking at it through her side of every disagreement you have? Sometimes we don't understand others because we might be very caught up in our own matter of opinion and our own ways too that the only solution to the problem is to try to place yourself in her shoes. Maybe she's just trying to impress everyone with her ideas but she's not aware she's overdoing it. Anyway, I don't really know the bottom line of your differences but I guess you both can work it out so the disagreements won't take its toll in the end.
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@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
I try as much as possible to be understandable to her opinions and ideas.I usually give her an opinion or a choice with her opinions already considered (she says her opinions all too well) I do this because I see that I will not always win in the battle of ideas and I have to compromise. So by asking my side I am already compromising. However, I have a feeling that I am the one doing all the understanding. Sometimes, I give away my important points and she still won't give me a consideration.
1 person likes this
@fajriyaniamber (89)
• Indonesia
20 Apr 13
well, if I have to be honest, then i think this will be possible to be solved if one of you don't want to give up. i mean take she ideas. actually i'm not worker, but i already work with many partner that's because our task in school. and i always have different thought, opinion, and ideas with my partners. but we always solve that problem. cause one of us will received the others ideas. and sometimes we always share each other, like our hobbies, what we like to do, and many other. so in short time we became friends. and the different thought will be decreased as the time passed. that's my opinion.
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
Good point. But sometimes we just don't agree on things and we need to work it out somehow or work might just stall. And that part of the routine office work.
1 person likes this
@SinfulFox (135)
• United States
19 Apr 13
Hmm, that sounds like a rough situation. It's hard to give advice though without knowing exactly what you are disagreeing about. Maybe try and get to the reason behind all your disagreements - do you two just have different beliefs and values? Maybe she has a different perception than you and thinks she knows a better or more efficient way of doing something, or just believes it should be done a certain way. Have you ever stopped and asked her why she disagreed? Maybe try asking why she wants things done a certain way, and listen to her reasons and try to get her point of view, and maybe you can start to understand the choices she makes and why they are so different from yours.
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@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
Sometimes, we share some beliefs and values. I don't think we're that different but I believe she insist on being different. I respect her individuality but I can't work with someone who thinks all ideas are rubbish because they don't always agree with hers. I am getting tired of giving her way. I would say that she did give in on some occasions but going through the process is very tiring, frustrating and I dread going through it again and again.
1 person likes this
@subhojit10 (7375)
• India
19 Apr 13
Well i can understand your problem very much as i too have the same problem with one of my colleague at work, whatever may be the case, i believe that we should not hype it at our workplace as it might affect both our works, so we should rather keep it simple and give both of us enough space to work for the betterment of the organization.
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@joizee (502)
• Philippines
20 Apr 13
I suggest set boundaries and consequences. In that way, you'll be able to be guided with your decisions and responsibilities. Who's doing what, is help accepted or not, or who's decision is final. But I think it would, again, open a loooong discussion with you two unless someone would raise a white flag and be respectful enough to accept decisions from the boss. Oh by the way, are you the boss or subordinate? Leader or both of you are teammates? Well hope this helps! Good night Jeanneyvonne ;)
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
We're both subordinates but we're expected to do our duties and fulfill them without too much supervising. It's not really my style anyway to be hovered around. i work sometimes with my colleagues and when I do, it's quite tiring at times. Frankly, she's on a higher level since she joined the company earlier than i did.
1 person likes this
@joizee (502)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
I see... Superiority is her problem that's why she keeps on "competing" with you. I suggest let her be. So you wouldn't encourage too much competition from her. She has "insecurities", I guess. Doesn't want the new one to be the "star". If she keeps on snooping on you, try to ask politely what she needs or why is she there even if she has a job to do. If both of you have same responsibilities, try to be creative and do better. Like "13 gone 30" movie? Deviating from the mainstream, if its applicable. Good luck! :)
