how can I move on from a break up when I have a kid with him?

I really try hard not to rush to join them or even the thought of joining them... my lil girl's still 2 yrs old, she doesnt really know whats happening with us.. but i try to talk to her like i am making some situations so that i cannot be with them... is it alright to have white lies for this certain situation i am in for the sake of my girl and myself, as well?

Thanks. Sometimes i just ignore her crying... sometimes she stops whenever I just completely ignore her when they are together....

children understand if you talk to them and explain the situation. they may not be able to talk well but they know the differences beacuse they can see and feel it. your daughter has observed that if she cries and calls for you, you will come. if you don't stop coming, she will always do this. ask your ex to try to put more effort in consoling her if she starts crying. tell him you have other things to do (even if it's not true) so you cannot always be there to pacify your daughter.

I think that most couples do fight. Well, it is just that I really haven't seen my parents do that but they say they definitely fight over so many things. They say that marriage is a union of two different people so it is not possible that they would have same habits, values, way of thinking and decisions all the time. Also, a lasting marriage is not only based on whether they love each other or not. It is just a part of it all. I think that a lasting marriage would depend on how both of you solve problems within the relationship. Communication is very important and how you communicate with each other is vital. Well, am kind of old fashioned so my bottom line here is never give up your marriage unless it is life risking or there is already third party. Because many times, it takes time and one big shot before someone would realize his mistakes and decide to change for the better. Heard of a story about a couple whom the husband has treated her wife very bad for so many years? But the wife didn't leave her until it was the husband himself told him to take the thing that is important to her and leave immediately because he can no longer stand that even though he treated her badly she remained faithful and by his side all this years. And so the wife took a huge bag, opened it in front of her husband and told him to go inside the bag because she said that if there's one thing that is truly important to her, it is him. The husband changed after that incident. And I think it was over 30 years before it happened. Yes, I know that 30 years is too long to wait for someone but I think that it is more than just waiting. It is standing by what you promised during your marriage. Remember that you didn't only promised to him, you also promised to God that you'll stay by each other. But of course, it is a case to case basis. I do not really know your reasons for doing so but I hope you'll be able to raise your child well despite the separation and live a happy life. I am sure it would be much harder for the children.

you are right. it will be hard for someone who still love the person... but in my situation, i dont love him anymore and we are just not meant to be even though we have a kid, i dont have to live with that all my life... i might just have regrets in the end and it will not be a good thing for our daughter seeing us fighting or what.. right?

Thanks for that... you are right.. it will fade in time... better not to entertain some things if its not really meant to be right

i have tried that but there was a time that my kid kept on looking for me, she wants me to be with them. I try hard not to respond to that but sometimes, she keeps on crying and would just stop if I am already with them... what should I do?

i think thats all i can do for now... its just hard really... especially when I feel so down and all i can see is our kid... memories rushing back... tsk