What kind of relationship you have with your house maids/nannies?
By Paper_Doll
@Paper_Doll (2373)
Philippines
April 21, 2013 7:11pm CST
We actually do not have one but my in-laws have. They sent their previous maid home last February and another one came that month. She is young but smart and I like her better than the previous one. Although I haven't talked to her that much, she seem to be a happy person with positive outlook in life. And my in-laws actually like her so we're all shocked when she told the other day that she is leaving first week of May.
Everyone was asking for her reason for leaving but she wouldn't talk. They were at our house, I was busy preparing for our meal when I heard them talking. The way she answered my sister-in-law's questions, I knew already that she has many things to say that she cannot just say. We're actually in the same situation.
When she was alone I asked her why. At first she was reluctant to express her true feelings but I told her I too wanted to leave long time ago. It's just that our situation is different. I know hard it is to deal with my in-laws but I have so many things to consider so I cannot just leave like that. I know how hard it is to keep mum on everything that was thrown to you when you knew yourself that you are giving your best effort for it.
And so she started crying. She said she can't say her reason for leaving because she's afraid my in-laws will get really mad. She said she heard so many hurtful words and she cannot just take it anymore. I told her that they actually like her and it is just their nature of speaking hurtful words when they get irritated or mad 
so why not to talk to them and tell them about it, maybe they would realize that they should now choose their words before saying it. Well, actually I do not know if it is right to ask her do that when I myself cannot actually say that. But she said that she doesn't want to stay more and will just return to the province the soonest. I think that because she stay and with them more than I do, she must have had a really hard time.
Do you have maid or nannies at home? How do you treat them and how's your relationship with them? Thank you.
so why not to talk to them and tell them about it, maybe they would realize that they should now choose their words before saying it. Well, actually I do not know if it is right to ask her do that when I myself cannot actually say that. But she said that she doesn't want to stay more and will just return to the province the soonest. I think that because she stay and with them more than I do, she must have had a really hard time.
Do you have maid or nannies at home? How do you treat them and how's your relationship with them? Thank you.8 responses
@roshigo58 (4859)
• Pune, India
24 Apr 13
Hi,
We have two maids in our house and they are working honestly. We treat them kindly and with respect. Sometimes when they make mistakes we try to tell them with sift words and not rudely. They are happy to work in our house because we behave with them in very respectful manner and never insult them.
1 person likes this
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
I think that is how we should really treat every people around us. It is nice to know that you treat them with respect.
@rocketking (189)
• Singapore
22 Apr 13
My brother has a live-in maid from another country, I try to treat her as I would any other human being. I know there are people who abuse maids and do not treat them well, I do not want to comment as some of these employers may be frustrated and upset with maids who are stubborn or do not carry out instructions. After all I have also heard many horror stories of maids, in fact my brother has had his share from previous maids.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
23 Apr 13
Yes I also heard of many stories about maid doing bad to their employer so we should really be careful in choosing them. I don't have a maid at present but hopefully but next year, I am going to hire one but I will be taking a relative or someone I know in the province which is a usual practice here.
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
22 Apr 13
We've always treated our nannies and housemaids as family. I think we all should. We leave the care of our children to them. We leave the care of our house and belongings to them. The trust we put in them is like the trust we put in any member of the family. But we however still keep some employer-employee relationship. This is to prevent overfamiliarization which sometimes lead to nannies or housemaids being to lax and lazy with their tasks. This relationship however is like a parent and a child. Parents also need to set some rules for their kids to follow. 
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
22 Apr 13
Thank you for sharing, you have treated your housemaids and nannies well. I also agree that eventhough they are being treated as a family member, there's still set rules for them to follow. Yes there are some who take advantage of their employers in the long run.
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
22 Apr 13
My parents have a foreign maid in the house partly because they are old need extra hand to take care the house works and also because the old man in the house is a stroke patient and need support moving around the house. They treat the maid as like any employee. Sleep at 9pm and wake up at 6am to do house work. The maid eat the food same with the parents, since she is cooking it. She has all meals , breakfast, lunch , dinner and supper. Even free clothings and occasionally outing with the old man.We don verbally abuse the maid , but sternly warn her if the job is not done in good manner.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
22 Apr 13
It is good to know that your parents treat their maid nicely. It is just right to remind them to do their job properly but to verbally abused them, it is definitely not right especially if they are not being paid correctly.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
22 Apr 13
We don't have any house maid in our home. My wife will do all the work in our home. Sad to know that house maid is leaving her job as she told the reason to you and it is acceptable, just tell your in laws to be kind with the maid.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
22 Apr 13
It is a good thing your wife can do all the household chores, it is actually a pretty tough job to do all those. I am working but still wash our clothes and cook for us. Well, we don't have kids yet so I can still manage. I just don't know what will happen if we already have one. I think I will seek help from my mom.
As to your advice, I don't think I can talk to my in-laws about it since I myself have the same problem with them. And like this housemaid, I also do not have the guts to tell how I feel.
@sorima24 (77)
• Philippines
22 Apr 13
Im a housemaid and nannies before.And i understand what she fells.Maybe shes right that her
boss might say some badwords especially when she do a mistake but not good to
treat like that.You have to tell him what she did not in hurting him so it
can help her to work well.If shes good why saying badwords?Why didnt tell her.
I have lots of good boss they treat me like a one of thier family and trust me
all the things.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
22 Apr 13
I think it is because it their nature to speak bad words even if you do small mistakes. They were thinking that it is just alright to say those kind of words but I believe that they are being insensitive with the feelings of others around them who are not used to that kind of treatment. They would say it is just normal, and that's how they really speak so people around them should not be offended if they happen to talk to them in that manner. But of course, if you happen to grew up in a different environment or home where majority of the members care about how would other feel about what they say, I think that it will be hard to stay or live with people who are the opposite.
I know some nannies and housemaids whose boss treat them fairly and sometimes as members of their family. I think that since they do things that are critical for our family, they deserve to be treated fairly. I always believe that if you have issues with other people, you should talk to them in a nice manner and you should always think about what you're about to say. Bottom line here is know how to respect others. Even if you pay them monthly, they also deserve to be respected.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
22 Apr 13
i don't have nannies and maids and my house, but if i did i would treat them with respect and not make them want to cry. i would hate if that happen. i would look at it like they were doing a big favor for my family.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
22 Apr 13
Thanks for sharing, that's right every person deserve to be respected.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
26 Apr 13
It looks like a scene at my in laws' house. They tend to be too demanding in getting things done and yes, saying hurtful words is just like breathing air to them. I am so glad I no longer live with them.
I treat my maid/nanny as if she is also a part of the family. I allow her to eat what we eat and even join us on the table. I would often tell my kids not to treat these maids differently. We pay for their service and not making them as slaves.
