So you have grand children

I am an old mother but I can recall certain things and can also relate to the topic. I have never done this even on the rare occasion. Once or twice I had to go out with my husband where I could not take my son along but even then I would prepare his dinner in a small tiffin box and then leave him at my mother's place; I would not expect her to take the trouble to go in and make something for him because my mother had had her kitchen work finished by four o’clock in the evening. Father would not have any meal for the night and finish his night dinner/idli etc. by the evening itself and mother would keep some tiny portion for herself and wind up all work; I did not want to be the cause of any additional work for her. There were other occasions when she would prepare something special and give us all but it would be at her mood and convenience. I never did like to thrust any of my responsibility on anyone else. Coming to my views on the topic, I think it is case specific and also how parents relate to children. It would seem exploitation to another onlooker because some think cost of labour is high there and housekeepers are not found but some parents like to do this; there are people who like staying abroad and they are contented with children’s company alone. For example, I know of a close relative uncle and aunt of mine [very respectable gentleman and was in a high judicial position also] who spent many of their years staying abroad with daughter. They stay for a few months in India and keep going abroad every now and then and it has happened for months together too when their grandchild was small. Even now, they have gone there. I know many people who are happy there staying with children and grandchildren. I have also heard complaints like [not from the same source but some other] that they find life pretty boring there. If youngsters want their parents to stay with them, parents should feel lucky I am also waiting to read about what young mothers would say...

@kalav56: I looked after my grands in my 60's for two years from they were 17 months old until they were three and a half. They were twins too. It can be done and I could lift them but I did have help to do the household chores

I almost never left my kids with anyone. I had a daughter in law that wanted us to watch the kids (my step grands) a lot, and no matter what we did it was never right. I have taken care of my grandkids who live far away only a time or two without their parents, and I enjoyed it.

I am 63 years old and have grandchildren from age 2 and half to age 21 and one great grand son age 2 months. I love taking care of them and do not find it a burden or problem and welcome every opportunity to do so. I have never felt it was problem or they were dumped on me. I have never felt exploited and wish I could watch them more often. Some of my grandchildren I do not know well because their parents don't let me babysit or rarely. But that is okay too we still see them. I babysat for my great grandson recently it was delightful. So not all grandparents find it to be exploting or dumping some of us welcome and love it as often as we can do it. For me it is at least several times a month. To me family is joy it is love, giving, sharing and the more they are around the happier I am.

I have cared for my grandtwins and my other two grands on occasions and it has always been a joy not a chore. But my children paid for household help and when I had the twins at 17 months I had a nanny to assist too as I was working at that time and yes, I was sixty. I have never fekt that I was taken advantage of and these same children will be looking after, and have looked after me, in my illness. I know that when the time comes that I cannot manage then they will take care of me. This is our way out here. I will not be put in a retirement home but will die with my family around me.

For me, it's okay to leave your children to your parents as long as you never exploit your parents. Take good care of them by showing your care. Even though, they are old they are still our parents and we must be responsible for them

I wish my kids would "dump" my grandkids on me but they don't. I seldom get to see them because they are so busy. My parents and in laws used to ask to watch my kids all the time when they were little. I wanted my kids to get to know their grandparents before it was too late.

You're talking about something I've never experieced so I really don't have a good answer for you. I think it would be absolutely terrible of some children to dump their children on the grandparents and leave without their permission....unless there are particular circumstances. I have no problem with watching my granddaughter and my grandson when he was a little chap. Big difference in age between the two of them, but they were never dumped in my lap. I watch my little Lucy (six years old) whenever it's needed but it's not a constant thing. I share with the other grandparents so all is well. I will be babysitting next week for a couple of days because my oldest daughter is helping out my youngest daughter at work. This will be our special fun time and we make crafts together....love it. I can honestly say I was never taken advantage of so it's a good thing.

I have three kids and i always find it hard to find someone to look after them, during those times that i don't have a nanny i was really lucky that somehow my parents were able to pitch but that was only a day or two as i really find ways to look for a nanny and now i have a nanny. I would rather spend a fortune on a nanny than have my parents look after my kids. Not because i don't want them to be with my kids, but i know how much my kids can be a handful, i want them to be with my kids for fun and not for them to look after them.. plus my parents are a bit old now and it can be tiring to run after kids.

Okay well, I don't fit in the "young" mother category, but then I was a tad more mature than other parents my own age. I never would do something like that to my parents. It was my choice to have and raise children therefore my responsibility, not theirs. That very thing has been done to me in fact. When visiting. other family they treat me as their nanny instead of an Aunt and sister. I don't like going to see them because that is the only reason they want me around.

I am a university student in China,so I have never meet the situation what you described.But I was angry with these peoples attitude to their partents.Respect the elders was one of the fine tradition of Chinese nation.SO I call on the mankind from the all the world can respect the elders.