It's really hard to make friends with different gender once you are taken

hi mitlin Those men left you because they were not interested in becoming your friend but wanted to date you.For whatever reason they did not get chance to date you.So once you are married they decided to move on.

I have not experienced the same. I have few male friends here at work and they did not change after I got married. They still treat me the way they used to treat me. Nothing has really changed. But am not really that type that goes out with friends be it male or female. I think that a true friend will be there for you even if you are single or not. Although there may be some changes or limitations, they will stay as your friend. I have a very good friend before, actually we've almost become a couple but inspite of this, we remain friends after I got married. We still talk to each other, he still call and send me messages and I reply if I think that it wouldn't offend or hurt my husband. As for your male friends, I think that they are not really after friendship from the very start. I believe you can still find some few good male friends in the future. Those that would really treat you as a friend, and not someone whom they could have a romantic relationship in the future.

It all depends i guess, even if i am married, i am still good friends with my male friends, in fact a lot more closer as they find me someone they could trust minus all other issues as they know i am married and they know my husband as well. We became someone they could confide too and i guess they do not hesitate to be friends with me as i introduced them to my husband and they also became my husband's friends.

Maybe they are afraid of your partner. Have they seen him already? I think its because maybe you are already married, they don't want your partner to get angry with them. You have to explain to them that it is okay, and also to your partner to understand the situation.

I had this experience back with one of my ex boyfriends. He was insanely jealous for a flirt. Now that's stupid. Anyway, try reaching out to them then. Maybe they are not aware of what they are doing? or they are just avoiding trouble to avoid bad rumors. I'm afraid that once you are married or committed, you can't expect to be as close to male friends as if you were single. That's something you have to accept. I also find it annoying that guys are interested to be your friend if they are interested in you romantically. It's great to have a guy friend who respects you and remains a good friend.

That is very true. I also have the same experience. I have male friends before and there were so many who wanted to befriend me but when I got married, everyone seems to be apprehensive. I do not know but may be they just do not want complications or they are just assuming that it spells trouble when you start befriending a married woman. i am also not that comfortable anymore having new male friends because my guy is quite a jealous type.

I don't think men will behave like that. if let's say you are married or have a boyfriend already and those men that are already married or have girlfriends would not mind being your friend, correct? I myself is a guy and i am married. However, i still have friends which are female and some of them are single, some of them have boyfriends and some of them are married with kids. We all still get along well together as a circle of friends.

I never had the same experience like what you had. Nothing changed when I got engaged and when I got married. Everything is the same and normal- I have male friends and more male friends in the office. My married status never affects having a male friend.

Friendship is more than that. We can always have male friends as friends. If they are into relationship, they will look for those available ones. However, they will still keep in touch as friends. If those who have that type of thinking, then let it be, no point to ponder on it.

When you are in a serious relationship you have to give maximum attention to your partner,also normally people dont feel comfortable with the friends of opposite gender which their love interest has.That is why people avoid making friendship with someone(of opposite gender) who is taken.This is one reason though.Another reason is that there are lot of people who start the friendship with someone of opposite gender hoping that the friendship will grow and it will result into a relationship or intimacy later on.I dont want to generalize things because there are lot of people who are faithful but due to my personal experiences i am of the opinion that when you are in a relationship, having lesser friends of opposite gender is proves useful in long run,but that is just my opinion.I suffered because of being open minded and not possessive. I was in a serious relationship and the girl had a very close friend.I never interfered or instructed her to stay away from her friend but after few months of relationship she told me that she and her friend always loved each other but never realized it so her relationship with me is like a burden to her now.May be this was my bad luck but these cases happen lot of time.There are lot of instances when your close friend of opposite gender suddenly develops feeling for you and starts creating problem in your relationship.Anyways those are just my experiences it does not happen with everyone ,there are people who have good friends of opposite gender and they never create problem,wish you luck in that regard.Best wishes.

Hi, That was my primary concern a few years back when I got married, losing all my female friends or they shall change towards me. On the contrary, they remain the same, I even made some new friends in my workplace and every where I may go. Maybe girls are different than boys, they feel more secure now that they know I already have a wife.

i have many male closed friends but they are my classmate when i studied in univ. After that i can't have any closed male friend anymore. You are right, they say they want to make friends with you but if you have a bf or got married, they won't keep in touch with you anymore. I have such these experiences. I used to be upset about it but right now i am not upset anymore, when a man asks to make friends with me, if i have a bf, i will say i have a boyfriend, then if he doesn't keep contact with me anymore, it is ok, i don't care much about it.

i have a boyfriend but it is not a hindrance for me to be close with my guy friends. in your case, when your friends stopped contacting with you in time they knew you had a boyfriend already was that he wanted something more than friendship. it is being clear to us that each of the person including man/boy has different characteristics or personalities. so in case, if my boyfriend is a jealous kind type of person, i will let him feel he is secure and that i will not cheat on him, not only by means of saying it to him but i will let him feel. for this, his confidence will be given to me fully. that is my technique why my boyfriend is so confident or trust me with utmost easiness. and when i have a guy friend, i put some limit or boundary to let them feel that i am tied to someone already. another one is that, i introduce my boyfriend to them to let them know i am serious with my relationship to him. this way, they will be aware and if they have plans to surpass the limitation of friendship will be barred. hey, why not talk with your love one. explain to him that you do not want someone else and they are just your friends :)

It really does. I have a couple of guy friends who I was close to way back in college. There's no malice or anything and I can talk to them about anything. We can practically goof around each other and just laugh about it. Right now, we don't talk at all. I think they're also giving me some space to avoid malice or jealousy on the part of the husband. I think to avoid any misunderstanding, this is much better. There are instances that for me, I don't consider it as flirting or whatever but for the husband, it is. So better be safe and just walk away when you can.

Hi there Mintlin, I have experienced the same before but I guess, that is part of those growing up years.

Hi ! Maybe you are just too attractive and tempting that is why when you are taken it is they themselves made a way to make a distance or else they will end in trouble. This is just a hypothesis from me. Nothing wrong in having an opposite gender friend , as long as you are not attaching yourself to him and you ,maintain a decent friendship then everything will be okay.

i don't think they mean bad, its just that there are things they cant tell or talk to you about out of respect for your status and also maybe some had hopes of being more than friends to you and now their hopes are over.if the sincere ones they will keep being your friend just dont expect as many as when you were single.

That is such a large discussion you started. I won't even comment on it... But in truth, especially with the old values disapearing from all over the planet, it's so bad everyone just wanna sleep with everyone. Personally, that is my one big problem in relationships and why i kinda stop having relationships, all the girls want to have a million guy friends, and i have to sit there pretending as if they dont all, or most, want something more from her. auf reminded me of my ex-girlfriend. bye

i have male friends and they've been friends of mine before and after i got married. maybe those males in your office think your husband will get jealous if he sees you with male friends so they stay away from you. why don't you ask them why they're acting like this?