Rant #2 Today...
By Jennifer
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
Valdosta, Georgia
April 23, 2013 6:33pm CST
Okay, my second rant is about my husband actually. Today is our 8th wedding anniversary. We don't have any money to go anywhere or do anything, that was fine I already know that. But, he is starting another job tomorrow where he will be working 60-80 hours per week so we will not be seeing him much at all soon. And today is our anniversary so I just thought he would want to be home spending the day with us. His friend called and asked him to come over and try to fix something for him in the house. Any other day I really would not mind but today of all days?? Our anniversary and the day before he starts this job with crazy long hours? No, he should have said another day but not today...Ugh, a little frustrated at the moment-sorry everyone, had to talk about it.
4 people like this
31 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
I totally understand how you feel. But have you told him how you feel about it? I am sure he's going to make it up to you. He might have thought of wanting to get things fixed before he gets real busy and this is just the day that is possible to make them.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
See?! You are lucky to have such a loving husband. He may not be perfect, but at least he makes sure to make up for loss time. Not all wives could be as lucky as you...
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
Yeah I told him and he did apologize. Which I am glad about, guess he just didn't think about it the way I did. So, he told me next week once he gets paid he will take me somewhere to make up for it...
2 people like this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
That's a really great suggestion, Celanith! I am sure it would be such a memorable anniversary for the both of them. Go for it, LovingMyBabies!
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
24 Apr 13
If you can't come here and rant and get it off your chest then where can you? And we need places to offload, where people are understanding, caring and offer advice as well as a listening ear! Well congratulations on your 8th Wedding Anniversary, it's a shame you can't go out for a nice meal together, you deserve to do something special, I think it's just bad timing about your hubbies job, but they are awfully long hours, did he take that position that you were worried about him taking? I hope you do find some quality time to celebrate it together my friend. I hear what your saying, but I guess it can't be easy on him either.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
Yeah, I am so glad I have this place! Lol. I would be in a nut house with out all of you! =)
Thank you wolfie. I wish we could go somewhere too but we just don't have the money right now. No, this is a different position, he will be working as an electrician.
I am happy about the job, I just wish sometimes that he would think about my feelings too.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
24 Apr 13
I am sure he does my friend, in his own way, he's a guy and guys don't always find it easy to express themselves or to show their feelings let alone recognize yours, sometimes you just have to nudge them a bit, and say hey what about my feelings!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Apr 13
wolfie havent you heard thatt you guys are from Mars thats why we women have to remind you of anniversaries and birthdays. lol @Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Apr 13
hiLovingMyBabies Oh did you not know men are from mars and anniversaries do not mean as much to them as they do for us and I have never been able to figure out any other reason. My husband w as very loving but he could never ever remembered our anniversary until I started just telling him.I am sorry he did not stay with you and celebrate the day. I tell you men are from mars. I am glad you have us and mylot to vent a bit as it always helps me I know. Men
so
metimes are just plain unfathomable.
metimes are just plain unfathomable.1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
I do know it Hatley, it still drives me crazy when they prove it though! Lol. He did apologize and told me once he gets paid he will take me somewhere next week to celebrate our anniversary. I am glad I have MyLot to vent sometimes! =) All of my friends here are so awesome! 
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
well then you should be upfront about it, talk to him and tell him it is your anniversary and you and him should atleast make it a bit special even if you both stay at home with the kids.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
I did talk to him but I had to vent about it here first. Lol. He apologized and told me once he gets paid next week he will take me somewhere.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
24 Apr 13
Men can be so thoughtless sometimes but did you tell him how you felt? I had to make it clear to my husband on several occasions how it made me feel. I would not have attacked him but told him that you just wanted the day celebrated by him staying with you and the children. I do feel it for you as I am still an old sentimentalist. Many blessings
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 Apr 13
My ex got it but only after I left him and trust me..I did not leave him for those reasons. He just never understood how very little effort it would take to make me happy. He always felt that if he did not have the money to take me out then why bother. Once we split up, I was finding love notes on napkins, mirrors & in my car. He'd take the kids for a walk and bring me back wild flowers. When we first got together, what drew me to him was little things like that that he just did randomly and not because it was a special day. These things are the glue that will hold you together in tough times during your marriage. They are memories. I'm late in responding here and it sounds like you two worked things out. 
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
Sometimes they really can be pretty thoughtless. It is annoying. I told my husband a few minutes ago how he was making me feel. He did apologize, he said he wasn't thinking about it the way I explained it to him. He also said he will make it up to me once he gets paid. The thing he doesn't get is I am not looking to go anywhere, I just wanted to spend time with him... He will never get that I am afraid.
2 people like this
@marguicha (222844)
• Chile
24 Apr 13
I read the answers and your comments and I know that you told him how you felt and that he apologised. That`s wonderful, friend! That means that you communicate with your husband and his respnse means that he loves you. That is much better than to have a romantic but uncaring husband. Little by little, you can let him know that these little things matter to you.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
Yes I did talk with him about it, I just had to vent about it here first to get it off my chest! Lol. But he did apologize and he said he will make it up to me next week. =) I do have a good husband. Sometimes he just forgets things that are important to me I guess.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
24 Apr 13
I know how you feel but I think he thought if he was going to work all those many hours he would not have time another day to help his friend. You can play to have time for each other another evening to make up for your anniversary, perhaps make a special dinner, sit down to good music and have a dance or two in the house with candle light etc?
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
I know that is why he went but I just don't think his friend should be more important than his wife and children, or our anniversary.
I talked with him about it and he apologized and said he will make it up to me next week when he gets paid. Hopefully he will now that he knows how much he upset me by this...
1 person likes this
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
24 Apr 13
That's got to be tough. Did you get to do anything when he got home? I know I'm posting this a day after your anniversary, so I don't know yet. Working those kinds of hours is going to be hard on everyone, but I know that you needed a job where you can start knocking back the bills. To keep the spark alive (and save money), pack him a lunch with love notes in it. You save the money on lunches plus you can create a game out of it, like redeem this note for a long kiss. Best of luck!
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
25 Apr 13
That's the way to keep romance alive-and with him working so many hours, it'll help. I'm glad to hear he apologized and I'm sure he'll make it up to you! Anytime-and have fun working on those romantic notes!
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
25 Apr 13
It was hard, being here alone on our anniversary. No we didn't do anything... We don't have any money. He apologized for leaving and for us not being able to celebrate and he said he will make it up to me once he gets paid next week. =) That is a good idea scorpio, thanks!
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
24 Apr 13
I bet the reason he went today was because he will be working 60 to 80 per week and he would not have any idea of when he could help his friend out.
It would have been nice if he spent sometime with you. Did he remember your Anniversary?
I hope he gets back from his friends early so you can get to spend sometime with him.
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
24 Apr 13
I am glad he remembered your anniversary. Some men have close relationships with friends, especially ones they grew up with. Know that it is important for them to maintain those friendships just like we do with our friends. He could have asked you if it would be ok to help his friend especially on your anniversary. That way you would have had a say in what was going on for the day.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
I know that is why he went but I just don't think his friend should be more important than his wife and children. Yes he remembered that it was our anniversary.
I talked with him about it and he apologized and said he will make it up to me next week when he gets paid. =)
Thank you!
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
24 Apr 13
Congratulations!Yeah that would be frustrating. Have you talked to him about how you felt. You should let him know why you are frustrated, because you wanted him to spend time with you and the kids on your anniversary.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
25 Apr 13
Thank you. =) It was frustrating, I vented here and then I talked with him about it. He did apologize and said he would make it up to me when he gets paid...
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
25 Apr 13
It was yesterday, April 23rd. So yes our anniversary is over. He did apologize and said once he gets paid he will make it up to me.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
25 Apr 13
Thanks but I didn't have a good day yesterday...
@vanz_6 (100)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
Aww, I empathize with you, dear. Of course, it would have been okay if it was another day but not on your anniversary. Sorry, but he could have said another day and spent today with you and your little ones. It's very important to balance time with family and anything else. That could've hurt you. Sorry to hear that.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
Yeah I think he should have thought about my feelings and how much he will be gone soon. He did apologize for it though...
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
No I know he cannot plan anything special because we have no money and no one to watch the kids for us. I wish he was sweet like that, but he's not the romantic type of person. He got back a minute ago...
2 people like this
@o2bnocn (2992)
• United States
24 Apr 13
I would have been aggravated also. Everyone makes mistakes and he probably just didn’t think about it. If he is starting a new job maybe he is nervous and is nerves are getting to him. I know I would be nervous if I was about to start a new job. I get nervous really easily. It’s getting better with time but I still notice it. Also, maybe with everything going in he just really didn’t think twice about it. I’m sure he didn’t mean to make you upset.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
Yeah I think it was a combination of things... I think it is partly due to the stress of not being able to do anything for our anniversary too.
He did apologize and said he will make it up to me next week when he gets paid.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Apr 13
Is he one of those who can't say no to people?
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Apr 13
so sorry. did you discuss it with him? what did he say? im glad we both have here to come to. what else is there if you dont have lots of real life outside of online friends. these are the best friends here.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
I did talk about with him after I vented about it here. He apologized and said he would make it up to me once he gets paid next week. =)
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
24 Apr 13
Men are men. To use woman things like anniversaries are extremely important to us. Not to most men. I know guys who are always forgetting their wedding anniversaries! Even after wives keep reminding them! Men can be and are pigs! Plain and simple! Thank goodness I don't or want a man in my life! My life dramatic as it is without having a man in it to mess it up!
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
Yeah men sure don''t think the way we do about things... He did apologize though and said he will make it up to me once he gets paid next week.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
24 Apr 13
Happy Anniversary! The problem is that some men just don't get how important an anniversary is. It can be frustrating and you feel like this friend of his is more important then your anniversary. Maybe you should have said something to him before he left. Telling him how you feel. Not that it would have changed his mind but just so he is aware of your feelings. Men think differently about things like that especially the younger guys.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
Thank you! Yeah men sure don't think the way we do about things... He did apologize though and said he will make it up to me once he gets paid next week.
@dionysianspirit (161)
• Canada
24 Apr 13
I am sure he feels the frustration of having to work those long hours, the fact he didn't have anything special ready for your anniversary and the emotional stress he is bearing knowing he won't see you and the family much.
Times can be very difficult and personal decisions can seem erratic or frustrating..even hurtful..but you must remember that he feels the same way, and is just handling it differently. It may seem selfish but it might be to prepare him for this new demanding work schedule, which will give him the hope of getting you and the family the presents they deserve.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Apr 13
Yeah I think it was a combination of things... I think it is partly due to the stress of not being able to do anything for our anniversary too.
He did apologize and said he will make it up to me next week when he gets paid.
