The Scenario and what your thoughts are?
By webgirl01
@webgirl01 (689)
United States
April 25, 2013 2:14am CST
My scenario here is I have a friend (male friend, Jared) who i knew or met longer than him meeting and being in a relationship with my best friend (female friend), jackie.
He just texted me asking if he can talk to me or wanted to talk but not when the persons he is with hanging around, his g/f jackie and nicole.
I don't mind talking to him but then at same time I have coughs and colds or was a bit sick and not in talking mode. Another thing, I feel ackward and not comfortable because I am overnalzying because he didn't explain much what he wanted to talk about but I'm guessing it has to be about last Tuesday or whatever or if Jackie ever mentioned it even if she planned not to tell. If that's the answer or my guess is right, that he wanted to talk about this week about if we saw Kayci or so and so, I really don't know. And Jackie hasn't told me what to do or what to say but then again If I say something to Jared, and if he explains it to Jackie, Jackie may take it wrong way and blame on me and I don't want that.
I thought it's okay to cover up for a friend but I guess not a good idea and there was no planning on this for this week. It was out of the blue he texted me this week.
I don't know. Eventhough I'm just over analyzing or assuming, I really don't know if that is what he's planning on talking about or if there was an actual issue that happen this week between them that Jackie just brought up.
Last Tuesday..I went to go to the social gathering for Young Adults Church at the bowling place.. Jackie said that she wanted to meet up with Kayci at the bowling place. or that Kayci might come by and so she did.
Issue is that when she told me she kinda does and doesn't want to tell Jared about her seeing Kayci and then about her seeing the ex boyfriend (jake) of her who is now the b/f of Kayci that tuesday. So yeah Jackie and Kayci were stopped being friends or best friends for awhile till that happened and now of this year Jackie decided to make peace Kayci and her b/f Jake and be friends with them.
Jackie said she didn't really want tell Jared at all before and after we left bowiling
I told her (Jackie) do what you want to do either tell or don't tell. Whatever business or you want to be friends with Kayci. I don't know if Jackie will twist it around and tell Jared.
I'm guessing Either way consequences.
But I also understand from jared perspective and also what or how jackie is acting as well.
When I was at the bowling place, i was hanging out with the church group and I bought food, but Jackie met up with Kayci and then jake came after and they played pool.
Jared's perspective is that he has known the past issues between Kayci and Jackie and Jake and that he doesn't want to be involve or be part of their life. He did give his opinion of his g/f jackie being friends again with Kayci. He knew as from what Jackie told him previously that she and Kayci were not friends because Kayci was her best friend dating her supposed Ex-b/f Jake which is now currently Kayci's b/f. He has heard this few times before.. And wonders why be friends back with Kayci again? And I don't know but my guess is that Jackie may have motive or feelings of her previous ex? I don't know if that's true but that can be a good reason why Jared may be iffy about issue his g/f jackie being friends with kayci and jake.
Also I don't know but Jared knows of some issues between him and jackie need to work out. He doesn't like how Jackie greets people especially the guys or how she hugs them or how she acts. He knows that she can flirt in some way when hugging guy friends.
Then for awhile till this year, Jackie said she wanted to make peace and be friends with Kayci. This is the 2nd time they met again.
But it seems most of all this more of Jackie's plan on being friends. First time it happened befor the first meeting, the next day, she made it seem as if I saw them and that I should not bring it up to Jared when he rode with me to go to go follow Nicole and jackie to eat out for sushi. I shrugged and said Ya I know...she didn't even text me about that way ahead of time but then I don't think it matters.
The first time issue of this.
They had an issue or argument prior to me going to jackie's house with Nicole on the parking lot.
It was when Kaycee said to Jackiee that Jackie's b/f had called Kayci and told her something mean or called her late at night and started ranting to her. I was partially at church meeting while Jackie wanted to meet up with Kayci and Jake to make peace. Jared showed proof and gave his phone to jackie to look at that he did not call kayci or talk about her though text. Then Jackiee called Kayci a liar and then mentioned she didn't want to really be her friend. Then when I came from volunteer to go see Jackie and Nicole that time, when Jackie was in the car with Nicole, she put emphasis on "YOU" pointing me... as in I told her that that I saw saw them when infact that it was not only me that I saw them and that it was planned that she wanted to see them.. It was not planned and it put on the spot when Jared and Jackie were talking on the car and put me in ackward and it wasn't planned that. that's why I was somewhat annoyed of that. she had to bring up about that when she mentioned she was not gonna bring up about Kayci saying that Jared called her out of nowhere and yelled at her lat at night.
Jackie said she was not gonna bring up this to her b/f but then she had to mention it by third person to her b/f the next day.. she wanted to find out if it was true if Jared really called Kayci and called her names on phone without her knowing it..
So far this is the 2nd time Jackie and Kaycie and Jake hung out while I was with church group. She doesn't know whether to tell or not tell her boyfriend Jared. But I guess she decided finally she will not tell Jared.. But I don't know if she keeps her word.
Also when we left the bowling place before leaving, Jackie mentioned both Kayci and jake, something about her boyfriend Jared don't mind her being friends but then again something about jared may have a fit if he knew of jackie hanging out with kayci and jake. I didn't really hear much because I was not in the mood and I had colds.
So this is what I'm analyzing the clues..
When should friends cover up for friends? or is that not necessary?
2 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
Better let your friend handle the situation. Anyway, there wasn't really anything that Jared should be mad about. But to be safe, just tell Jared that you do not know anything.
@webgirl01 (689)
• United States
25 Apr 13
Hey there! thanks for your response. I'm just over analyzing or guessing the reason if that is why Jared want to talk to me about. I don't know the real reason because i haven't talked to him yet. I don't feel like answering the phone as well since I don't want to cause confusion. If
But as from what Jackie told me on the idea of her wanting to be friends with her ex best friend Kayci, she said Jared doesn't like the idea somewhat but same time doesn't mind if she's friends with Kayci but doesn't want to be part of their lives. But Jared knows the issues between Jackie and Kayci and Jake from the past.
What I'm afraid of is if Jackie is gonna tell Jared that she saw Kayci and Jake (who is Jackie's ex boyfriend) which was last tuesday April 23 or does she need to tell Jared everything of that sort or does she want to hide and not tell Jared about seeing Kayci and Jake that last Tuesday night?
Jackie's plan was either Not tell Jared that she was with Kayci or hung out with both Kayci or jake or just tell Jared. So I don't know if she took her word for it.
Another thing is when Jackie as for advice or when says something, i don't know if she twisted her words or say something around.. cuz the first time on regards to her seeing kayci and jake the first time, she made it seem she again hated kayci when she talked to jared the next day and that both jared and jackie had their own issues to talk when we all hung out for sushi for lunch. She made it seem that I told her that I saw them - Jake and Kayci yesterday when partially she actually has seen or met up with them as well. The day before that she planned on seeing kayci with jake and wanted to be friends. Then after my prayer meeting at church, i met up with jackie at the shoppes and after that she told me that Kayci had told her that Jackie's b/f jared called her at the late night saying mean stuff to her. I thought she will not tell jared but then she wanted to make sure if it's true that jared called Kayci or one of some friends of hers to go rant at them at night. Jared says he never called Kayci because he don't have her number and has not talked about her though text.
Also that time I ask Jared what's wrong when jackie was talking to Nicole, i think he said at first, that Jackie told him that I said something or gave an advice and made her realize something. I didn't know what it was about or forgot about it....this was like a month ago. But he asked me that but then it made me got disappointed or mad at jackie because of her wordings or what she's talking about. And that time she was either deciding to tell Jared whether she met up with Kayci especially with jacke and that sort. Or does she need to tell everything to Jared about her seeing her ex best friend to make peace with along with kayci's b/f (jackie's ex).
If Jared asks me about all this of this week or what I said to jackie that she probably said to Jared, I won't tell him anything but then again since he's a friend i knew longer before him and jackie were together, so its ackward. And I hoping it's not all of these. I also hate being put on the spot as well. Cuz it happened the first time..which I just entirely explained about on this post.
@dionysianspirit (161)
• Canada
25 Apr 13
Hmmm this is a very complicated situation for sure and I don't know if I can really give any advice. I would like to help but I am not sure if I have enough information to really make a decision. Is there anything else you can add?
@webgirl01 (689)
• United States
25 Apr 13
Hey there sorry for the confusion or if the situation I wrote is bit complicated. I was just over analyzing and guessing the reason why Jared texted me and ask me to talk to him last night but I don't know. I also don't feel well talking on the phone.
I was nervous guessing it could be what jackie shared or said this week or something not of this since I don't know the real reason of why jared wanted to call me or talk to me when he's done with jackie and nicole.
I knew Jared long before Jackie and Jared got together. But we weren't close before but gotten good friends when Jackie and Jared are together.
However, the issue in general is Jackie planning on being friends with her ex best friend, Kayci and who is currently dating or in a relationship with Jake who is jackie's ex. Yes at first it's the girls rule i heard that never date your friends ex that both jackie are not best friends anymore.
From what Jackie said, she said that Jared doesn't like the idea of her being friends with Kayci and Jake. Also I have heard Jared doesn't like how Jackie greets or meets people mostly the males on the way she hugs them.
She said that Jared doesn't want to see or meet up with Kaycie and Jake. Jared does know of the issues of Jackie with Kayci and Jake and has heard it few times before.
I know both sides since the way jackie is and acts and what both jackie or what jared told me.
Also last tuesday April 23, 2013 Jackie met up with her former best friend, Kayci and her ex b/f, jake who both are now in a relationship together. Jackie's idea on her meeting up with Kayci at the bowling place while at same time there was a social gathering for church at that same place. I happened to stay with the young adults on their bowling while Jackie met up with Kayci and Jake to play billards.
What jackie that time after the hangout and taking her home, she said she don't know whether to tell Jared or not about her seeing kayci and jake at the bowling place. I told her that it's up to her, tell or not tell. It's your friends and your business. Jackie decides she should not tell Jared at all about her meeting up with Kayci. She even told Kayci and Jake that she not going to tell Jared at the moment about all this and that she said Jared would freak out or get mad.
But I don't know now if she already told him that or if she kept her word that she's not gonna tell that she meet up with them Kayci and Jake.
So generally should Jackie have told her b/f about her meeting up Kayci and Jake?
Or should she just keep it lay low and not tell if she wanted to?
Jared doesn't see why Jackie should be friends again with Kayci and Jake. First time I heard was when Jackie told me that Kayci brought up that Jackie's boyfriend, Jared called Kayci in the middle of the night and started ranting to her and calling mean names. Jackie said that she was not planning on telling Jared but next day after I went to my volunteer and got to her place, I saw her in the car with Nicole while Jared was talking to her through passenger window open.
She kinda put me on the spot which I wasn't prepared for.
She made it seem that I told her that I saw Kaycie and Jake when infact that she was the one who planned on seeing them the night before in front of Jared but it felt ackward.. she didn't plan this ahead or told me ahead of time to cover up but . Jared was near there when she said that to me when he's there. She made it seem she don't want to be kayci's friend the first because Jared proved his point that he never called Kayci behind Jackie's back and ranted out to her and that he has no number of hers as well. Then jared said to jackie, Kayci is lying to her. So I really don't know. After all this Jared say why do you still want to be friends with her or them (jake and kayci)? Jared says Kayci said that to jackie because she's ruining relationship between Jackie and Jared and as if Kayci and Jake want to break Jackie and Jared apart. But I don't know. Some parts from other sources, say don't be friends with ex friends but then I dunno.
But now it seems Jackie still wants to be friends and make peace with Kayci since they hung out on April 23 2013 and when she shared it to me, I told her it's up to her to if she wants. I also i told her its up to her if she wants to tell Jared this or not. Then she told Kayci and Jake she not gonna tell Jared all this. Kayci did say Jared was rude on phone when both Kayci and Jackie doing three way calling to clue Jared in and talk.
But whatever between me and her are sharing, I don't know if she's gonna mention it to jared or about what we shared about. She decided not tell Jared but I don't know if she kept her word for it. Sometimes I feel she's like zig zag on.
But if it all fits the puzzle pieces of my guesses that why Jared wanted to call me that my guesses are right, then I don't know what else. I hope I can avoid that stuff if he talked about me and jackie or what I said to jackie etc of that sort. this week.
I don't want to be blamed by Jared or Jackie. And I don't know, since I can tell Jackie does talk alot, so I have to becareful if she blabbers something.
