When someone just disapears, is there always a reason for that?
By sencis
@sencis (25)
Latvia
April 28, 2013 5:46pm CST
Starting new relationships, even as friends or so, the worst thing to do is just disapear. I have never just disapeared from someone life without saying something or explainig the reasons, because even tho till recent no one has ever just disapeared without giving a reason why, I kind of always thought it is worst thing you can do to someone.
But I guess there are this kind of people who thinks it is normal.
So now, when after few months of knowing this person, he just disapeared. I know I can just go the place where he works and just talk or ask why, but I have never been the person who intrudes someones personal space, because in some cases that might seem desperate and deep down I know that there must have been some reason why he just stopped comunicating and maybe that is the reason I am a bit affraid of confronting him, cause I would not like his answer, but still there is something that does not give me peace, even tho has past about two months.
What is the best thing to do in this situation?
4 responses
@dionysianspirit (161)
• Canada
29 Apr 13
This is regular behaviour by a lot of people, particularly younger or shy types. When people get busy or a relationship or friendship ends, it becomes overwhelming and awkward. If no intention of communication is deemed necessary by either party, the easiest and quickest option is usually just cutting the person off completely.
While this may seem rude, to a lot of people this is simply the most convenient and painless way to sever something that is not working and most likely never will.
If you want my advice, I would suggest you forget about it all and move on. Confronting a person who is avoiding you will just make the situation all the more awkward and you will come off as in the wrong even though you have good intentions.
Best of luck.
@sencis (25)
• Latvia
29 Apr 13
I know I should forget it and moving on, but as I said, something just keeps bothering me and I can not get it out of my head.
But I guess the thing which stops me from confronting him, is what you say - that from this situation nothing good for me, really can not come out.
@JoshMiranda (49)
• Philippines
29 Apr 13
Just so be it...You dont own him, he can do anything he pleases. maybe his a very busy person, well if you really want to talk to him and spend time with him again, then invite him out.
okay- so my own reason why i disappeared from someone else's lives, because i prefer being on my own most of the time and i dont feel the need of sticking myself to them all the time. or i dont like them- there are times, or i really do not need them in my life, if i see them (good), if not then (the better), they can come and go anytime they want and i dont care........also sometimes, i needed space.. i need a lot of alone time for myself to think, to do things, so on.......
@sencis (25)
• Latvia
29 Apr 13
I know I do not own him, and I guess the problem really is that I do not understand people like this.
And I totaly understand the thing about being on your own. But these thing you mentioned - disliking someone etc. - it all builts up as time goes by and the other person at some point feel the change in attitude, cause I know I have had people in my life which in time I understood, I do not need them in my life, but I never just disapeared, I made them understand or told them that something is not wrong.
But in this case - everything was great even more than great, and thing was, that he was teh one who always wanted to spend time together and text more, and talk more, so our relationships were realy great and then just..it stopped.
@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
29 Apr 13
if you really care for this friend of yours, you should at least give him a call or send him an SMS to inquire if everything is fine with him. he could be sick or he could be in trouble.
however, if common friends of yours see him and he's physically okay, then you should go outright and ask him why he is behaving in this manner. it isn't natural. if you were close before, i don't see any harm in confronting him with his unusual behavior.
@sencis (25)
• Latvia
29 Apr 13
There is the thing - I know he is physically ok and I have tried to text and call him few times, but nothing.
And I guess the thing is that, for me - I also think it is not noemal, that person just disapears like that. But then again maybe, from all this I maybe have to make conclusions that he does not care about me as much as I do about him.
@Anji1985 (46)
• France
28 Apr 13
Well quite a few people when they get busy they don't communicate or keep in contact much with friends or family. It happens. You should give this person a call and see if you guys can meet up and if that works out then you can ask him what he's been upto lately and see what he says.
Try it out.
@sencis (25)
• Latvia
29 Apr 13
I understand that people can get busy and so, but this was person with whom I talked or at least texted every day, and then just..nothing.
I tried to call him few times, he did not answer, so I stopped trying. But here steps in my pride - I can try one, two, three times calling, textings and after that - that is it. But this time something really bothers me and does not let me go from all this.
