New Doctor Makes Mr Bean Look Like He Has A High IQ

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I've put my discussion in this category because if I didn't laugh I'd cry! This morning I went to see the doctor - a doctor I've never seen before so I'm presuming he's one of these Locum types we get from time to time. The thing is, he didn't look a day over 96 lol. Seriously. His one redeeming feature though - he had a good sense of humour. Quite eccentric in fact. He has a teddy bear on an armchair in the corner. Not sure if it's for him or for any children that dares to see him. Anyway, I told him about my hearing issues. After rambling on for a couple of minutes he got his ear gizmo out and took a look inside BOTH ears. "Aah, yes, lots of wax down there." he enthused. I then told him what I've been using i.e. chemical ear drops and that I rang up the other week and wasn't allowed to have my ear syringed. "Hmm, not sure why you were told that," he said. He then walked over to the sink to wash his hands, tripping up as he went. He carried on muttering about ears and what you should and shouldn't do with them. "You can use your little finger..but nothing bigger..certainly not your elbow." Laughter. I then asked him if I could use bog-standard Olive Oil "from Morrisons" to which he replied, "Yes, no need for the Extra Virgin!" More laughter. I've actually ended up buying some Olive Oil from the rip-off chemist but at least it has a proper pointy gizmo on it so I can squirt the drops in. I have to use these 3 times a day until my ear syringing appointment (for BOTH ears) on Friday morning. During my appointment with Mr Bean I mentioned a mole that I was a bit worried about under my arm. My bra keeps catching it, making me wince. It has bled too but I've only found that out since the visit as I inspected one of my bras when I got in and it has dried blood on it. I wish I'd known that before. Obviously, I had to take my top off for him to take a look at the mole properly. He kept prodding it and actually came out with the gem.. "lance it yourself as it's only hanging on by a thread." "I don't like pain," I responded. He ignored me. He then had another ramble about moles, saying that "just because you have a mole doesn't necessarily mean it has to be removed." I asked him what will happen next as he told me it "doesn't look malignant to me." How reassuring. He then told me something that nearly made me laugh out loud but I refrained myself. He said that ONLY Dr Voysey can undertake minor surgical procedures on site. "I've had a major fall out with him," I said, grim-faced. Unfortunately, he couldn't give me any alternatives to Voysey. I was half-expecting him to refer me to the hospital as I know moles get removed there as I came across someone who was having the procedure done at the same time as I was having the ablation. Still no response off Mr Bean. Because he was a bit ga-ga he had to type up what was said at the time. Usually doctors wait for the patient to leave before inputting their notes. Not so Mr Bean, typing away two-fingered, bless 'im. He then left it up to me what to do about my mole instead of giving me advice on it. So, when I made the appointment to have my ears syringed at reception I asked the lady if only Dr Voysey removes moles and she replied in the affirmative. "There is a massive waiting list," she told me. Dismayed, I left without making an appointment. I shall go back if this mole gets so bad I'm in agony. If I didn't wear bras I guess it wouldn't pose a problem but my boobs would be round my ankles if I did that, so that's a no-no. Tomorrow I shall visit M&S and try a few on. Hopefully, I can find one (or two) that are more comfy than the ones I have at present. This trip to the doctors has already cost me over £5 in Olive Oil drops from the Chemist. No doubt, tomorrow I won't find a decent bra for less than about £15.