Not allowing your boyfriend to see his kid

@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
April 29, 2013 1:34pm CST
This girl I went to school with who back then we were close friends. She has changed a lot to an immature drama queen. I think to myself how were we ever friends, she is so immature, lives with her parents, doesn't pay a cent and expects everyone to hand her everything. Her ex boyfriend was dating another girl we went to high school with and got her pregnent, they broke up. Shortly after he started dating my friend, for the last 3 or 4 years. He never saw the kid do anything with the kid, and barely paid child support, until she went to court over it. My friend would refuse him to see the kid more or less say it's me or the kid. They broke up about a month or two ago, he sees the kid several times a week, and does things with him. He seems so happy right, now and I wonder how did he allow this ex friend of mine to control his life and push his kid to the side. I have dated a few people with kids, now even though they irritate the living crap out of me, I would never say anything, or imply they can't see the kids. I would simple make plans to avoid the kids. My ex had a 2 year old, and every other weekend he had him, so he would write it down, and I would usually be working anyways, or just walk around town, until late in the evening, and go home when the kid was going to bed. We made this agreement, and it never iimpacted the relationship.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
30 Apr 13
haha, your friend is very immature. How could she ever think that she is more important than the child? Maybe she is afraid that her boyfriend will leave her if he gets more involved with his child. I can't even think of dating anyone who would abandon their child more or less. I can't even think of dating someone who is possessive and overly-dramatic and needy! It was a good thing they broke up. It is the child that deserve the father's love.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
1 May 13
Children should be the first priority. That child is his own flesh and blood. Haha, so I take it you are not friends with that person anymore?
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
30 Apr 13
I am the same as you, I would never date someone like that shows how low they are. I agree, this child will grow up and need that support. My ex friend will always be so selfish and greedy.
• Singapore
30 Apr 13
If she went to court for maintenance fees, can't he use the same proceedings to request for access to the child as well? I am not sure he himself is keen to spend time with the child otherwise legally she would be forced to give him access especially since she went to court to ask for maintenance support.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
30 Apr 13
A lot of times the court sides with the mother, whether it's the best thing for the child. I believe she had filed saying he did't have a steady living arrangements (which he didn't), and of this girl and the safety of the child.
@roberten (3128)
• United States
14 May 13
Different stroke for different folks, and it takes all kinds to make a world. Our lives are made up of choices and sounds like he made questionable ones. One day he will be answering to his child: Why?
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 13
hi cricki when I was young having a baby with a boy friend was considered having an illegitimate child so by now things did change. but to me the revolving door relationships are just as bad or worse than divorces as the kids were legitimate then and there were less legal hassles. Also this opens door thing can be homan will have four kid from four different men this boggles my mind. I have little t say as I feel one should not have jkkids until ojne is married then you ate protected by law.
• United States
29 Apr 13
It sounds like your old friend is very emotionally immature. Perhaps she was scared of the attachment her boyfriend could feel towards his kid or worry about it reviving his feelings for the mother. If she isn't able to handle her partner having a kid already, she should probably not date single dads.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
29 Apr 13
That's what I thought, as she always made comments of the mother, saying she purposely got pregnent for him to stick around, and all she wants is money (yet she is caring for the kids and he had no responsibility). She is very immature, and full of drama which is why we are no longer friends.