The Story Of Lil' myLot Yoozer

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Once upon a time.....in the land of myLot.....there lived a boy. His name was Lil' myLot Yoozer. Now, the myLotian gods were kind to Lil' myLot Yoozer and he had everything he wanted.......of course, being a huge fan of the Red Rocker Sammy Hagar, everything Lil' myLot Yoozer owned was his favorite color......red. He lived in a beautiful red mansion with a beautiful red interior......he drove a red Lamborghini......he wore a red ruby Rolex......and he spent his day playing his red piano and playing with his red unicorn. Yes, he had everything he needed, but what he didn't have was a red ball to play with......he really wanted a red ball so he asked the myLotian gods for one. Instead, the myLotian gods gave him a red painting with a crooked frame. Lil' myLot Yoozer didn't really want the painting......but he kept it.......and again asked for a red ball. This time the myLotian gods replied by giving Lil' myLot Yoozer a red guitar with a warped neck and no strings. Lil' myLot Yoozer pleaded one more time to the myLotian gods for a simple, red ball. The myLotian gods answered by giving him a red bicycle with square tires. Lil' myLot Yoozer realized he wasn't going to get his red ball, so he just gave up asking. After all, he was happy, he had all his cool red belongings........his red mansion.......his red Lamborghini........his red Rolex.......his red grand piano and his red unicorn........oh, and he had a ton of friends that he played with and talked to everyday.......everybody loved living in the land of myLot Soon, he forgot all about the red ball.......Until one day the myLotian gods told him, "Lil' myLot Yoozer, we have decided to give you your red ball.......we've also given you a new home......you'll find it at the end of the golden path." Lil' myLot Yoozer was SO excited he ran all the way down the golden path until he came across a crudely built, wooden shack. "What is this?" Lil' myLot Yoozer asked the gods. "This is your new home," answered the myLotian gods, "You're going to love it here." The myLotian gods hadn't done him wrong yet, so Lil' myLot Yoozer went into the shack to check it out........what he found shocked him........the walls were blue, the floor was blue, the furniture was blue.......gone was the red Lamborghini, the red Rolex, the red piano and the red unicorn......and all his other red treasures......in the middle of the floor, was a little red ball. Lil' myLot Yoozer sank to the floor and put his head in his hands........when suddenly the voice of the myLotian gods echoed throughout the shack, "DO NOT WORRY LIL' MYLOT YOOZER! CHANGE IS GOOD!...........oh yeah...........and we took away your allowance too." Lil' myLot Yoozer thought about this, and thought.....maybe change is good......and he did change......HE BECAME A SLOPPY DRUNK ADDICTED TO ANTI-DEPRESSANTS AND XANAX!!! Finally, one day Lil' myLot Yoozer jumped up, smashed the little red ball with his foot, ran out the door, and jumped into a pit of bright.......glowing.......RED.......lava..........and he died a horrific flaming death! The End