Wrong... / myLot

Shingle Springs, California

July 22, 2013 4:16pm CST

I can think of several men I know (or know of) who were/are in this situation. They were in a relationship with children, usually a marriage, the relationship broke up, the woman took off with the children, who knows where, and the man got hit with back child support for children he hadn't seen for a lot of years. Now I make exception for those situations where the man was abusive, and the children were clearly in danger, but I really think that if the state is willing to go to such an effort to collect the child support for the custodial parent, they should make an equal effort to enforce the parental rights of the parent who's paying. No visitation, phone calls, letter, contact of some sort, no money. You wanted the kids all to yourself, fine. You pay for them. And I feel the same way if it's a man who walked off with the kids, and the woman's the one paying the child support. (actually, some of these women ought to have been tossed in jail for that)

6 people like this

5 responses

Shasta

@cupkitties (7421)

• United States

23 Jul 13

I was a non custodial for a bit before being returned full custody of my children so I know how it works on both ends. My ex and his now ex girlfriend milked it for all it was worth too. Make sure to know all your rights. You have the right to access your child records, to be involved in your child's health care, schooling and many other things that people are unaware of . If any parent is not being allowed the visitation that is ordered by the court, this is a violation of the visitation agreement. Carry a copy from your lawyer of your rights as as non custodial. You will need to take it with you to show to doctors, the school and whoever because it is assumed that all non custodial are bad people and due to this they will treat you like a criminal.

1 person likes this

TheRealDawn

@dawnald (85146)

• Shingle Springs, California

23 Jul 13

The cases I am thinking of involve the woman pretty much disappearing with the kids, and the father looked, but didn't have the money to hire an attorney. The government got the support checks to her, but they wouldn't tell him where they were.... Money might have solved it, the courts sure didn't.

Shasta

@cupkitties (7421)

• United States

23 Jul 13

@dawnald That's kind of how my case started off and it might have ended the same way if not for a friend stepping in. They must have some messed up law there. When I had to go through support enforcement I was asked to show a court order that he wasn't allowed around us or some sort of proof that he was a dangerous person.

TheRealDawn

@dawnald (85146)

• Shingle Springs, California

23 Jul 13

@cupkitties I am SO glad that my ex and I managed to solve things peaceably, no lawyers, nothing.... (knock wood)

Dark CrescentMoon

@DarkCescentMoon (34)

• United States

23 Jul 13

I agree toss them in jail! This is crazy. It's posts like this that make me believe in love less or want to get married.

1 person likes this

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TheRealDawn

@dawnald (85146)

• Shingle Springs, California

25 Jul 13

@bumlaa It was the mother in this case...

sounak datta

@bumlaa (1)

• Kolkata, India

24 Jul 13

it is really horrible and ridiculous.From a father that kind of behaviour cant expect by any of his family member.He should be punished.

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Jennifer

@MissDemeanor (39)

• Montpelier, Ohio

25 Jul 13

I agree. The issue is that a lot of people who take the kids from the person paying child support are receiving assistance of some type. Then you have those agencies who want paid, and they do't care who the money comes from. I have worked in mental health and substance use and seen people who have their children, who shouldn't. Then there are people who are doing everything they can, and yet don't have their kids either. It just seems when a family is getting any kind benefits like food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, anything like that the child support is enforced, I am in Ohio and I know here that child support and visitation are two separate issues. Just because you are paying child support, does not mean you will be able to see your child unless you work something out with the other parent. Otherwise, you have to go to court and get the visitation or parenting issues arranged. There is so much that happens that makes this matter even more complicated! I have always been one to think that if you want to be involved than you need to do it, otherwise stay out of the child's life. I have seen way too many children waiting on the door step for their parent to show up only to be met by disappointment.

@dawnald (85146)

• Shingle Springs, California

25 Jul 13

Some people should never have been parents...