Secret to Keeping Attracted to Your Significant Other For So Long?
By LifeGuru
@LifeGuru (922)
Canada
August 9, 2013 12:31pm CST
What's the secret to keeping yourself attracted to your significant other for so long? I've been dating this guy for almost 4 years, seen our rise and falls, successes, been through a lot with him and we absolutely support each other even when we don't see each other much during the day since he and I are working. We recently got engaged a couple months back, lived together (prior to), and still go on dates...
The thing is, there are times when I don't feel as pretty as I was when I was single sometimes! Like yes, sometime's he's shy to tell me things since I'm his first legit girlfriend and all that but I just don't see how some people can just be attracted to their current long time significant other.
Yes there's loyalty, trust, and respect at play as well as other things that fall into factor. I may just be use to all the random compliments I use to get from random people before he moved into my city. I never really liked the compliments but I sure as hell kind of miss them!!! I don't get compliments from my significant other much since he's usually gaming. I GAME TOO! But still, to at least hear him tell me that I'm beautiful, cute, etc. every so often I'm sure I would have some self-esteem restored.
My guy isn't the best looking guy I ever knew, but he is really cute and all and I do love him so much. I do compliment his exquisite features, and make him feel important every now and then but sometimes I feel like I'm giving more than I should - though he does help me pay my bills and take care of me.
How do you keep attracted to your significant other? If you haven't been in a relationship with your significant others for 3 years or more don't reply (since I've been through the 2 years of ultra bliss, and now I'm trying to rekindle the flame).
3 responses
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
18 Aug 13
I think you need to make him realize that you are the most important person in his life. He should understand that life would be zero without your presence. You should take a break and disappear at your parents' house/ or a relative's house to make him realize that your absence could affect him badly. I think you need to communicate more about your dissatisfaction with him and what you expect from him. It is good that you always try your best to make him feel important.
@swaralatha (19)
• Hyderabad, India
18 Aug 13
yes i need to communicate more to be satisfaction and feel more important to every one
@LifeGuru (922)
• Canada
19 Aug 13
@swaralatha
I do plan on buying a board game or hanging out with him as friends just for some fun. He and I do act like best friends sometimes around others, but when it's just me and him on a date it's another story.
The thing that I'm slightly disappointed is, he likes kissing me on the forehead, cheek, lips, random body parts etc. but we don't make out hardcore like couples do in the movies. I feel like he's like a younger boy trapped in an older man's body.
The thing that I'm slightly disappointed is, he likes kissing me on the forehead, cheek, lips, random body parts etc. but we don't make out hardcore like couples do in the movies. I feel like he's like a younger boy trapped in an older man's body.
@fruitcakeliz (2639)
• United States
12 Aug 13
Relationships take work, and sometimes some of the little things like that fall to the wayside. Have you tried asking him (in a joking way even...don't make him feel "confronted") how come he doesn't tell you you are pretty/beautiful etc any more? keep up your side of the compliments, and when he does say something nice to you be sure to genuinely accept the compliment and make sure he knows you appreciate it. I don't know, it can be hard to come up with ideas with out knowing the "aura" of your relationship.
Also, i know a big esteem boost for me is to do something nice for myself that makes ME feel pretty. A new hair style/cut...new out fit...mani or pedi cure, or even just dressing up a little more than normal, doing my hair and putting a little make up on..(i am usually a plain jane type of girl unless i have a reason..) When i FEEL pretty i carry myself different, more confidently....and when i do that, i find i get more comments/compliments...from both my boyfriend (of 5 plus years) AND other people...
@LifeGuru (922)
• Canada
14 Aug 13
:p Because I tell him to shut up and all that whenever he compliment me since I feel strange coming from him, but when it comes from others complimenting me it's totally different (if that makes any sense). o.O
My man and I have been going on a couple dates for a couple days over the past few weeks to spend more time with each other. It's been rough lately as well since we haven't really had any time to ourselves 
since we live with family and we barely get any privacy since there's people constantly at home. I've been thinking of some sort of day get away for maybe next month for just the two of us but I'm still contemplating on a lot in terms of preparation + expenses. 
since we live with family and we barely get any privacy since there's people constantly at home. I've been thinking of some sort of day get away for maybe next month for just the two of us but I'm still contemplating on a lot in terms of preparation + expenses. @fruitcakeliz (2639)
• United States
18 Aug 13
@LifeGuru well, i would suggest you stop doing that. so he IS complimenting you, you just get self conscious and make it into a joke.......take it seriously....if he is telling you these things it is because he want to tell you and wants you to know that he hinds you beautiful/smart/funny/ whatever it may be...just learn to take it in and say thank you.....
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
12 Aug 13
it's something you have to work at, not take for granted. Those initial feelings of "in love" do kind of simmer down, but as long as you make time to say "I love you" and spend alone time, and also take care of yourself (because nobody feels loving when they've worked 10 14 hours days in a row and had no sleep), you should be fine.
@LifeGuru (922)
• Canada
14 Aug 13
I guess I'll try to make him something special tonight, not exactly sure what it will be but maybe bake something or grill. 
It's hard to take care of myself when I'm worried about splurging on random expenses as a treat. I just bout myself some new perfume that was on sale since I felt like I've earned it. o.O Hopefully I can have my bills paid off and all (it's what's usually on my mind half the time). 
It's hard to take care of myself when I'm worried about splurging on random expenses as a treat. I just bout myself some new perfume that was on sale since I felt like I've earned it. o.O Hopefully I can have my bills paid off and all (it's what's usually on my mind half the time). 