10 Signs You're Too Old to Go to the Hardcore Show

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My coolest friend shared a "Baltimore Chop" article (after the ad on the link) listing the ten signs that you need to switch your radio from the 'pop'- to the 'classic'-frequencies: "10. You shave your head to hide baldness, not to look tough. 9. You only wear your New Balance sneakers and Adidas shorts to the gym. 8. You actually go to the gym, and don’t make any jokes about hating ‘the jocks.’ 7. You’re asking your wife to hold your coat. 6. You’re not wearing anything with varsity font writing on it. 5. You understand that getting ‘stabbed in the back’ happens all the time and isn’t worth writing a song about. 4. You only round up your crew when someone gets married or dies. 3. You’ve ever described a straight edge tattoo as ‘cute’ with a knowing snicker. 2. Records that you own became collectible while sitting on your shelf. 1. You had a Krishna phase."