My Father's Daughter

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The door would open late at night. Oh God! please, not again. I try to pretend that I'm asleep, but she knows. Maybe it's the tears running from my eyes; or she sees me trembling and I don't know that I am. I don't know how she knows, she just knows. She keeps telling me she's my sister and that it's okay. I'm only 9 years old; she's a grown up; she's 16. She says it's our secret and if I tell, they'll send me away. You're my brother and I love you, she says. Don't you love me? I lie because if I don't, she'll hurt me again. I'm your father's daughter she says; we're family. Everyone does it; It's okay. But I know it's not. I hate the things she makes me do. When I say I'll tell, she beats me and says that no one will believe me because I'm just a kid. She says they'll haul me off to jail. That's what they do to little boys who lie. Then I won't get to ride my new bike because it's Christmas next week; so I do what she tells me. I felt so dirty and sick inside. I knew that this was the last time. It had to be. So I climbed up on a chair inside your closet daddy, and I grabbed it. The one I promised you that I'd never touch. I hope you'll understand. I love you daddy...BANG!