FORGET WORRIES AND LAUGH YOUR HEART OUT

Those were pretty good!

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!" So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!" Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts.

If you walk on cat, it will not become catwalk.

Why is Cinderella bad at sports? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach, and she runs away from the ball. ------------------------------ Lost in the desert for three days, a man suddenly hears "Mush!" Looking up, he sees what he thinks is a mirage: an eskimo on a sled, driving a team of huskies. To his surprise, the sled comes to a stop at his feet seconds later. "I don't know why your here, but thank goodness," the man says."I've been lost for days." Panting, the eskimo replies, "You think you're lost?"

On the way to a gig a juggler is stopped by the police. "What are those machetes doing in your car?" askes the officer. "I use them in my act," the juggler explained. "Oh, yeah?" says the doubtful policeman."Let's see." The juggler starts tossing and catching the deadly blades. "Good greif, I'm glad I stopped drinking and driving," says a passing driver to his passenger. "Look at the test they give you now."

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer (also a blonde). The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

An English teacher was explaining the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names, and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she." One of the students raised their hand and asked, "What gender is a computer"? The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: 1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they are the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model. The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in their long-term memory for later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it

great jokes .. laughter is the best medicine .. great work !

good ones