Emotional connection for men
@Kimberleekelly (13)
Belmont, Ohio
February 24, 2014 3:48pm CST
Emotional attraction
For a man to want a lasting, committed relationship with a woman, he needs to feel a deep, intense form of attraction called emotional attraction. Learn how this differs from physical attraction plus three ways women can spark the feelings a man needs to make him see her as the one woman he doesn’t want to live without.
What is it that makes a man interested in you, has him pursue you, and compels him to ask you to be in a relationship with him?
I’ll tell you.
It all boils down to one thing a man either feels for you, or he doesn’t. I’m talking about the magic emotion called attraction.
THE KIND OF ATTRACTION HE CAN’T DENY
Emotional attraction is more intense and lasting than physical attraction – it’s what sets you apart in a man’s mind and let’s him see you as more than something casual.
If you’ve had relationships that have been dead-ends or where your guy became distant and uncertain about wanting to be with you, this is usually why. He wasn’t feeling that emotional attraction that keeps him engaged and knowing you’re the only one for him.
On the other hand…
If a man does feel emotional attraction for you, then there’s almost nothing you can do that will keep him from wanting to be with you. He will feel almost driven to seek you out, and he’ll want to commit to you…even if he’s the kind of guy who never saw himself settling down.
By now it might start to feel that there’s nothing you can do to make a man feel this way, but I’m here to set the record straight. If a man starts out feeling interested in you, there are specific things you can do that will quickly create the kind of emotional attraction that will make him want to connect with you on a deeper level…
ATTRACTION TIP #1: REFRAME YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
If you’ve ever thought when you meet a guy, “Oh, he’ll never go for me – I’m not his type,” or “I’m unlucky in love and will always mess up relationships”, then you’re the only one getting in your own way.
The way we see ourselves, the way we think about ourselves, and our “mindset” has a lot of power. It can either create great things and drive us forward towards success and happiness in our lives…
Or these things can be the very things that hold us down.
Now, what’s worse…not only are you holding on to something negative when you carry these kinds of beliefs, you are actually setting yourself up for a negative outcome. You’re actually making yourself very unattractive to a man.
Positive women are extremely attractive to emotionally-healthy men – the kind you want to be involved with.
So, what can you do about this?
The first step is to identify which of these beliefs you might be saying to yourself or holding on to in the first place. All change begins with awareness. Once you do, consciously make it a point to turn each belief around as soon as it comes up.
ATTRACTION TIP #2: ENJOY THE MOMENT WITH HIM
Here’s something you should know about men…
Men are naturally drawn to women who are really able to be fully present in the moment, and they are turned off by women who are thinking about the next date, or the next month, or the next 10 years.
That’s why, when you take time to enjoy the connection that you’re sharing with a man, and don’t try and rush ahead, this is when a man will be the one who actually starts thinking ahead on his own.
But if you’re the one to try and “fill the space” by wondering or worrying about what’s next, not only are you not present with him to encourage him to think about it, but you might actually push that sensitive “clingy” or needy button on a man – and this will start to dampen his attraction.
Women who are successful with men tend to have something in common: they are able to enjoy themselves in the moment and not think too far ahead.
ATTRACTION TIP #3: PREDICTABILITY IS THE ENEMY OF ATTRACTION
It’s no surprise: men like a little variety. And you can give it to him in a way that will make the relationship more fulfilling for both of you.
Part of the attraction a man feels for you at the beginning is that you are new to him, and he’s like a little kid discovering all the amazing things about you.
So keep him discovering! Create tension and interest by not always doing or saying the “obvious” thing. This will keep him thinking and wondering about you and get him doing things to get more of your time and attention.
It’s a win-win situation for both of you: keeping things fresh makes the relationship more fulfilling for you, too…and keeps the passion alive for the long-term.
2 people like this
3 responses
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
27 Feb 14
How did you make your above conclusions. No doubt they are interesting, however, it may not be true in each and every case.
1 person likes this
@Kimberleekelly (13)
• Belmont, Ohio
28 Feb 14
This is a large percentage. It deals with the majority of cases. I have worked with people for over 20 years and educated myself as well. and I write things as a guide for help not an absulute and only way of coping or dealing with situations. thank you for your interest.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
3 Mar 14
@Kimberleekelly - It is amazing to hear that you have worked on this subject for 20 years. I believe that your guide will help other young women/girls.
@johnnygreybeard (180)
• United States
2 Mar 14
You do seem to enjoy talking about emotions. Seems to me, if you keep him discovering too much, he may begin to not trust, or have doubts.
Hey, I could be wrong, no offense meant towards you. Only my thoughts.
@johnnygreybeard (180)
• United States
4 Mar 14
@Kimberleekelly Hello,
You make a valid point. I do see it the way you mean. I'll think on it some.
Thank you for your response.
@Kimberleekelly (13)
• Belmont, Ohio
3 Mar 14
I understand your concerns but to have a healthy relationship you must be able to connect and show emotions. to be open and honest in the attempt to help the relationship not hinder it.
1 person likes this