I'm shocked/depressed

New beginnings perhaps? You have a new job so restart your health regime. Don't worry about the weight. Get healthy instead. The better you feel about yourself the more weight drops off. I get a bit concerned about all these diet companies - there is a huge meme focused on weight. I sometimes think it's more of a problem to get caught up in the meme. I began taking more notice of what I was eating. Initially it was for weight, but it turned into knowledge of the food industry - that will knock your socks off. If there is anything you need to be selfish about it's your health. I eat very well - really good food - which is fruit and vegies and nuts, good sauces and oils. Was a good feeling to change what was in my food cupboard and it transposed to my body, my liver, my stomach, my brain and my attitude.. Good luck.