In reality which is better?

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This person is truly in love with this other person...these people dated years ago but went separate ways out of fear of distance. Both were immature and handled the situation poorly. Mistakes were made, bad things said that could never be taken back and there had even been a period of not speaking to each other. Five years down the road, they talk things over, but never mention it again. Five years later, she feels what they had was right, and that he was the one that got away. Five years later he is still the first thing that comes to mind when she wakes up, and the last thing that comes to mind before she sleeps and no one knows but he still randomly crosses her mind throughout the day, which nearly always brings a smile to her face. Since him she finds nothing but flaws in potential boyfriends and often finds herself comparing them to him. Which they ca never measure up. They still talk from time to time but not like before, but he still makes her smile and she knows he is the only one who truly can anymore. They reminisce sometimes, but it hurts every time they do, but it also brings a smile to her face at the same time. She feels like he was the one, and it got messed up and lost. She wishes nothing more but to have it back but ignores her heart and her gut. She chooses a half life without him out of fear of rejection, and losing him completely. Stubborn to keep him in her life in whatever way she can. But is it better to live life safe never knowing if he feels the exact same way. Remaining silent and stuck in an empty abyss without him or to take the risk with faith hope and belief?